Does it feel good to hurt? Why do we make ourselves sad?

by AlmostAtheist 33 Replies latest jw friends

  • AlmostAtheist

    I've noticed that there are certain songs, movies, memories, etc that make me sad. There is even a category of music we call "sad songs". It seems obvious that we would never listen to something that makes us sad. And yet I do, and so do many others.

    Why is that? Why do we intentionally make ourselves sad sometimes?

    Is it possible to overdose on it, and wind up getting ourselves into a loop of sorts? The song, for instance, makes us so sad and yet it feels so good that we play it again and again. The resulting funk is awfully hard to pull out of.

    Sometimes people feel trapped by their circumstances. They roll thoughts around in their head of things that could change (but won't) that would make it better. This too is a painful, fruitless exercise. But I do it, and I know others do, too.

    So what's up with that? Why do we do this?


  • Dansk

    Hi Dave,

    Perhaps we feel guilty about being too happy!


  • Moomin

    I do it to myself aswell, intentionally wallow in it. I remember someone telling me that it makes you feel alive sometimes just to feel a strong emotion even if its a negative one.

  • Wordly Andre
    Wordly Andre

    Sometimes when your feeling sad or hurt, its the only feeling you can feel. I hurt myself today to see if I still feel I focus on the pain the only thing that's real the needle tears a hole the old familiar sting try to kill it all away but I remember everything NIN.

  • damselfly

    Having sad times and experiencing sad emotions can make the good times much sweeter.
    how boring to go thru life and not have a wide range of feelings.


  • Odrade

    It's easier to feel other emotions like anger, or nothing. Sad songs give us an outlet for sad feelings that is "safe." When the song is over we can get back to normal life, or if we really need to experience sadness, the music can be a catalyst to help the emotions come up into consciousness.

  • luna2

    If I'm feeling sad, I am sad. I try not to wallow in it but I don't deny it either. I don't go skipping around with a fake smile pasted on my face...I allow myself to feel the way I feel. However, I don't try to make myself sad either. I don't enjoy tear-jerker movies just for the sake of getting in a good cry, in fact, I usually avoid them. I don't sit around thinking or constantly talking about unhappy events either. My grandfather was a very melancoly sort of person, especially as he got older, and would talk about how my grandmother died or how all his contemporaries were gone or how his life turned out...and he'd do it ALL the time. It was his only conversation. I don't want to be like that.

  • BizzyBee

    The emotions are there, just under the surface. The music or movie is the trigger to allow us to release them. We are so often using some kind of restraint on emotions, just in order to be around others. It feels good to go all the way to the bottom sometimes, and see what lurks there. Isn't that why they call it a "good" cry?

  • stillajwexelder

    hurt and pain is part of life - I hate pain especially emotional pain - but it makes us who we are. See Jim Kirk on Star Trek 5 - I need my pain, it makes me who I am

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    Good thread, Dave.

    I find that sadness in movies is the most powerful. Songs are less visual for me than some.

    I think that human beings need to feel the entire range of emotion. Unfortunately some seem to be manic/depressive only, with little of the 'balancing' emotions in play most of the time. I tend to the higher scale of manic happiness than I do to the lower end of sadness, so at times a move in that direction may be just what my mind needs to refresh itself. Others tend to be 'down' more than up, and I think in that case too much sad media can be bad for them.


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