SITTING ON THE BACK ROW..............NO, NOT AT THE MOVIES, AT THE KH

by vitty 39 Replies latest jw friends

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  Crumpet

  is that a new thing or just a varient from cong to cong, anyone that i've known has been sat at the back,

  Whoa Nelly! (sorry - why am I so lame?)

  There is no scriptural reason why you have to sit at the back. They would like you too sit at the back so as not to discourage everyone else, but I wasn't having any of that. And of course the attednants cant speak to you so they can try and gesture manically to a nice out of th way - shoved in teh corner seat, but I used to smile and breeze past in my high heels wafting perfume in my trail, using the aisle like a cat walk!

  If I felt like a front row seat I used to get there half an hour before the meeting started and sit expectantly. It was quite funny really - you could smell the discomfort (or may be that was me overdoing the cologne!)but to be fair it was no different to when I was not disfellowshipped and I got there early but didnt want to speak to anyone anyway
• 

  Mary

  I know we've heard a lot of horror stories about JCs and getting disfellowshipped.........................but what is your experiences of continuing going to the meetings to be reinstated.............what did it REALLY feel like? Did you mind being ignored or did you understand it and take it on the chin?

  I haven't experienced it myself, but I know others who have. From what they've told me, it's humiliating, degregating and totally embarassing. Years ago, when someone was reinstated, the congregation would clap and everyone would rush up to the person afterwards hugging them, crying from happiness, etc. Now of course, you're not allowed to even clap for the person as they're still viewed with suspicion and apparently haven't suffered enough by being ignored by everyone for a specific length of time. What total horseshit.
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  cyberdyne systems 101

  I have to admit I was one of those who looked down upon a dfd person - I feel so awful for doing that now. The congregation is set up to see anyone judged by the local elders (imperfect men) in their secret court, to be so cold and unloving to them, and yet thats the complete opposite to Jesus way of dealing with people. The real answer is that these dfd ones could have done some reseach and become dangerous to the WTS, so if any return after being completely humiliated, presumably they are completely under the control of the society again. For those I shunned and looked down upon when I was a 'yes' man, i'm so sorry...

  CS 101
• 

  unique1

  People that were Df'd always did that in my cong. so they could make a quick escape after the song. I never will forget though the time I went to a funeral. The entire family was JW except for one disfellowshipped granddaughter. I had grown up with her. She was standing in the family and I noticed while neighbors hugged her, JW's didn't. She had been a good friend to me. I walked up to her, gave her a big hug in front of everyone and said I am so sorry about your grandpa, I know he meant a lot. I was so upset she was being treated that way. He was her grandpa too. She deserved just as much comfort as any other relative. I got home and told my husband what I did and said, if the elders say anything to me, I will tell them off. Thankfully I never had to. Every meeting I would leave right after the prayer with her and say hello out in the parking lot and ask how she was doing. I just couldn't be that mean to people. I don't have it in me. They were always shocked when I would speak to them. Now I am on the other end being shunned myself, but I have no desire to return.
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  looking_glass

  I always sat in the back, so I could come in late and leave early. When I first moved to the City, I went to a local hall a couple of times and did this (come in late, leave early ... sit int he back). What caught me as funny was everyone thought I was DF'd so they gave me a wide birth. But in the end I LOVED it. That way I would not have to stand there and listen to their boring stories and their encouraging words (puke).
• 

  fleaman uk

  I have to admit I was one of those who looked down upon a dfd person - I feel so awful for doing that now. The congregation is set up to see anyone judged by the local elders (imperfect men) in their secret court, to be so cold and unloving to them, and yet thats the complete opposite to Jesus way of dealing with people. The real answer is that these dfd ones could have done some reseach and become dangerous to the WTS, so if any return after being completely humiliated, presumably they are completely under the control of the society again. For those I shunned and looked down upon when I was a 'yes' man, i'm so sorry...

  CS 101 Im not being lazy,but cyber has summed up my feelings exactly!I cringe when i think of the holier than thou attitude i had towards disfellowshipped ones.I feel ashamed and embarassed for my terrible,despicable behaviour.I have apologised to a few d,fed people in my area when i have seen them..but somehow it doesnt seem enough.
• 

  Crumpet

  I have to admit I was one of those who looked down upon a dfd person - I feel so awful for doing that now.

  Cyber and Fleaman - it does shock me a bit to hear you and therefore others must have felt that way. I was never raised that way.

  Anyway you can relax because whilst you were looking down your noses at me I was secretly triumphant because I had effectively gotten out of the worse thing of all Field Service, I no longer had flushes at having to answer up and best of all I didnt have to make small talk with all the boring people in the hall.

  In short I was looking down at you - after all I was experiencing the ultimate in Jah's love - sweet holy punishment!
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  juni

  As far as to how I treated those in Hover's Penalty Box ™ , was, I always made a point of giving them a smile and a 'nice to see you here' nod.

  I would do the same thing Dismembered. I could relate to their uneasiness and what guts it took to show up and take the sneers. I wouldn't make a spectacle, but like you a smile and a nod. I didn't care what others thought if they had seen me; I won't kick someone when they're down.

  Juni
• 

  rowan

  JW daughter, thanks for your empathy. you're right on the spot. I have read horror stories here at the board and I know them to be true, unfortunately it took what happened to me for that to happen. My family still thinks that mine was an isolated case of mistreatment by zealot elders. don't they realize that they have been chronically "mildly" mistreated by the Borg?

  and CS 100, I was one of those too, shame on me for that. It was eye opening to get to the other side of the fence. Actually, it made a better person out for me. heck, not being a JW automatically makes you a more sensitive and empathic human being.
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  evita

  When my JW mom remarried she invited my sister and me to the wedding. We accepted the invitation. Although we had left the religion years earlier, neither one of us had been DF or DA'd.
  When we got there we were surprised to find that no family seats in front had been saved for us. The attendants seated us towards the back. I was very hurt. I think my mom felt bad when she realized how hurtful this was for us. She gave us a flower out of her bouquet as she walked back down the aisle. I guess "disciplining" us wasn't as satisfying as she thought it would be and just made us all sad.