Kali Mera Vitty! (Good day Vitty!)
I went back only once, a couple of years later, to show a friend just how deadly tedious the meetings are. I sat up near the front and smiled at anyone who caught my gaze. Some started to smile back, caught themselves, then frowned and turned away. I did not feel very weird, just sorry for the fools that stay in the Borg.
Christos Anesti! (Christ is risen!)
SITTING ON THE BACK ROW..............NO, NOT AT THE MOVIES, AT THE KH
Kali Mera Vitty! (Good day Vitty!)
When I was DF'd, but still believed it was "the Truth(tm)", I cried at every meeting. Every single one, for 5 damn months. Sometimes just tears, sometimes out-and-out bawling. And of course that made me feel guilty, since I thought people would assume I was faking it to get the elders to feel sorry for me and let me back in.
(Aside: I did get reinstated pretty fast, but I doubt it was the crying. Going to all the freakin' meetings and burying the elders in "please, let a scummy loser like me back in!!!" letters did the trick.)
One older sister refused to look at me, but fished a kleenex out of her purse and slipped it to me. I said, "Thanks," but she didn't acknowledge it. She was torn between her humanity and her obedience to the bOrg.
A few people would walk past me and make a point of putting their hand on my shoulder or brushing along my back as they walked by. Those little bits of encouragement were like cold water in the desert.
Being DF'd when you're a "true believer" is the closest thing to hell. JW's don't need to believe in hell, they make their own.
I am so NEVER gonna let anyone make me feel that way again!
Dave of the "Df'd and lovin' it" class
"JW's don't need to believe in hell, they make their own." Indeed!
I guess it wasn't the policy to make people sit in the back row or back room in this area. That space was always reserved for the latecomers and people with small children. DF'd spouses and minor children always sat with their family. DF'd adult children sat with their older non-DF'd JW elderly parents to help them to the restroom and to help with any medical events.
I don't doubt the experiences to the contrary in other congregations Of course, there were the elders that carpooled with their DF'd adult children and called them every day....or the elders that associated with a DF'd brother that they were in business with....I wonder if the "if they were living in Israelite times, they would be dead and no one could talk to them...." would work?
I've never experienced sitting in the back row because I was required to - being a witless in good standing until I walked away.
I have my dad's memorial service to attend. I WILL NOT sit in the back unless those are the only seats available. If I am requried to sit in the back for reasons other than the hall is full, I will leave. Simple enough.
Brenda, YOU shouldn't have to leave. I would make it a point to get there real early and sit wherever you want.
If they say something tell em how it's going to be. Just my opinion Please let us know how it goes.
Rowan, to a person with a normal upbringing, your story would be unbelievable. We have all had contact with the Borg, so we know how credible you truly are. And I also know that as poignant as your account is, that you understated the ugliness of it.
I know we've heard a lot of horror stories about JCs and getting disfellowshipped.........................but what is your experiences of continuing going to the meetings to be reinstated.............what did it REALLY feel like?
It felt like I was inferior, invisible, like I had leprosy or something. It is very difficult, the waiting, waiting and being judged as to what is in your heart, if you are really sorry. How can the elders or anyone really know what is in someone's heart? It is discouraging to go to meeting after meeting and not have anyone acknowledge you. What is even worse, is when you are waiting to talk to the elders or waiting on a husband who has magazine duty to get done, and have people stand around you and talk about you and what you did wrong, like you are not even there. I personally feel that the local needs talks when someone is disfellowshipped or reproved are wrong. They just give people in the congregation fodder for gossip. It should be none of their business what happened or what you did wrong. It has also been my experience that people never forgive or forget what you did, they always look at you forever more as damaged goods, not good association and also as being beneath them. VERY PAINFUL EMOTIONALLY.
I went to the meetings as a Dfed person for 4 yrs with my 3 boys. It was one of the most difficult and painful experiences of my life.
Those people are among the most cold and emotionally dead people on the earth. Their hard and inhuman hearts that constantly dished out their abrogation of my truly heatfelt efforts, are on a par with the stupid blind minions of the Nazi Regime IMO.
There are a few amongst them that i believe are probably genuinely nice people, i even miss a couple. I hope that they are released from the grip of that truly evil empire very soon.
darn guys..ya'll have me sad now..all those experiences of Jesus like love..
personally i got df'd back in 1996-7ish and never really looked back or attended a meeting til recently. i went twice in 2004 and both times i was with my brother. Although one sister came up to me and asked me, "are you right with Jehovah?" i should have said yes but said no..and she gave me a pity look and walked away...went to the memorial this year, didnt sit on the back row but still got some looks like what she doing here? went a few weeks ago, sat on back row but got there late and left soon as prayer was over so didnt have to worry about be approached..
on another note...garybuss said
I visited a nearby church one Sunday and after a short ways into the program, the pastor ( a lady) asked the congregation to stand up and shake hands and get acquainted with the people sitting nearby. The whole congregation did that. There was a friendly buzz for about 5 minutes and then we all sat down. It was nice. I liked it.
The church I attend does the same thing..and I was just telling my dad the other day that afterwards everyone holds hands and sings a final (goodbye) song together wishing each other peace til we meet again...never would have anything like that at the KH..so much love..