Stay at home Dads and Moms

by jayhawk1 25 Replies latest jw friends


    JayHawk1,give your daughter a hug and do your best...OUTLAW

  • jayhawk1

    I just did that and put her to bed. Funny, she didn't give me the grief she normally give my wife about going to bed. Am I that boring?


    She gets to spend some alone time with Dad..Cherish that..It won`t last forever..She`ll be grown up and gone before you know it...OUTLAW

  • Gill

    I've been a stay at home mum for nearly fourteen years.

    Have I ever been TOTALLY organized ? No! But......the most important things first.

    Food in every ones tummys on time!

    Clean sinks and toilets.

    Not too much clutter about, but don't get fanatical as this only causes distress!

    Clean beds and clothes for everyone.

    Bills always paid on time.

    EDUCATE THE CHILDREN EVERY DAY! At the moment I'm stretching their minds with the possibilities, or not, of time travel!

    For the years when I worked full time and my husband looked after the kids, I liked to know that dinner was at least on the way when I got home. And it was delightful to be met with a cup of tea when I came in. I was NEVER obssessed with how tidy every where was and never mentioned it if it wasn't. I enjoy the reciprocation now!

  • katiekitten

    I would say the main thing is for your wife not to come home to a shit tip.

    A friend at work has a home husband, and his version of looking after the children is doing that and nothing else. After a full days work she has to come home to cook and clean, plus he says 'the kids are all yours now, ive been looking after them all day'. So she has another days work to do ontop.

    Clean toilets is a good tip. Vacuum up lots (and quickly, it doesnt have to take ages). Get baby wetwipes to do everything else - I do all the dusting with wetwipes as im doing other stuff, so its not a job in itself (e.g. brushing my teeth I clean the sink after with a wetwipe, and give the bath a quick wipe too and the shelf - bathrooms all done for a week!)

    In fact wetwipes is my TOP TIP! They clean everything - surfaces, cupbard doors, paintwork, stains and spills. Even babies bums! (they seem to be particularly good with marks and stains, I dont know why)

    Dont stress about what you cant do. Make sure you value your contribution, unpaid childcare and housework is the most thankless job, but the most important one.

    Do the occasional candlelit dinner for your wife, if shes not noticing how much you are doing she will definately notice that, and fall in love with you all over again.

  • Fe2O3Girl

    Hello Jayhawk,

    Mr Fe2O3 is a stay at home dad to William, nearly ten months. We are still getting used to the new circumstances, but I think it is working out really well for us - we have a great quality of life.

    One thing I noticed when Mr Fe2O3 first finished outside the home employment was that he seemed to be a bit obsessed with getting jobs done (maintenance, garden, etc.), as if it hadn't sunk in that we don't have to rush to fit it all in before he goes back to work, these aren't "days off" that he has to make the most of. I had to remind him several times that his "job" is to care for William, and if he gets odd jobs done, that is a bonus.

    When your little girl is all grown up, you won't be wishing you had spent more time interior decorating.

    Mr Fe2O3 takes William swimming twice a week, and goes to coffee mornings once or twice a week so they see other parents and babies. Make sure that you include some social interaction in your day. He sometimes takes computing jobs (his previous career) and usually William goes with him. He is also a shooting instructor, so if he gets a coaching job in the week, either I take a holiday, or grandparents or Aunty step in.

    It is a good life.

    All the best!


  • Dansk

    Hi Jayhawk,

    I've been a stay-at-home dad for over 20 years now but I have to confess that Claire still cooks the dinner when she gets in. Don't get me wrong, I love to cook, but Claire and the kids didn't like my putting peach melba up the chicken's rear end! I like to experiment and really enjoyed the meal - but I was the only who did!! Since then Claire insisted on doing the cooking in the evening..........................

    I'm a freelance writer and so working from home is easy as I only need a computer and telephone. I watched the children grow up, changed their nappies, fed them and took them to school before collecting them again. I loved every minute!!

    Getting over my illness has been the worst part as I came home from the hospital with chemo-head (it makes your head light and fuzzy). I still have the problem but, thankfully, it is dissipating! I mention this because it has prevented me from doing what I love - writing!

    You'll be fine. The main thing is to have an agreeable partner - which you have!

    I sincerely wish you much success as both a househusband and with your studies!!


  • Gill

    DANSK! - Peach Melba! No wonder they won't let you cook. I wouldn't let you cook!

    Try sage and onion, or lemon and thyme but NEVER no NEVER peach melba!

  • Dansk
    Try sage and onion, or lemon and thyme but NEVER no NEVER peach melba!

    Don't I even get points for trying?

    BTW Are you coming to the Aposta Curry? - I'm not cooking it, honest!


  • Mamacat

    I think it's great that you are staying home with your daughter. I've been a sahm for most of the 11 years since my oldest son was born. Time is something that you can never get back.

    I agree with the others...have a schedule for cleaning and laundry. I also have a big calendar where I write down activites and appointments as soon as I know about them. You might not need such a big calendar as I have (I have 4 boys), but definitely somewhere to write down any appointments or school functions.

    Also, my boys all have chores...well, except the baby. They do things like load the dishwasher, put away dishes, set the table, vacuum, dust and carry the laundry up and down the stairs. It may take your daughter longer to do something than it would for you to do it yourself, but it's a great way to learn valuable lessons and responsibility.

    Best of luck in your new position!

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