Do you learn from negative people?

by free2beme 16 Replies latest jw friends

  • free2beme
    free2beme

    I heard once a comment or quote that said something to the affect,

    "Do learn from negative people, is to lower yourself to their thinking and to learn from their vast years of mediocrity"

    With that said, I think it pays sometimes to reflect on who we listen too in our life, and more important, who we strive to please and be life. I think as Witnesses, we only followed the negative thinkers, as the message was all about negativity. Now we have a choice to be something else, and to listen to something else. Yet as a mental trap, I think we have drank at the tit of negative thinking for so long that when we hear it, it taste familiar and it makes us comfortable. When in reality, we need to ween ourselves into realizing that negative thinking not only makes you a mediocre specimen of life, but it also makes you unhappy, unhealthy, and down right mentally poor.

    I bring this up, only because if I were to point out the one thing I have learned the most from leaving the Witnesses and dealing with the new world I opened myself up too. It would be that turning from one negative way of life to another negative way of life. Whether it be another controlling religion, relationship or just a thought pattern. Will lead to a far windier road of exit, with far more problems, then an exit that truly strives to change your thought pattern and actually take the time to realize what your freedom is all about and express it, breath it in and take the time to actually think about how good it is to simply be alive.

  • stealyourface
    stealyourface

    I just want to say cool post. Thanks for making me stop and reflect on what I have gained, and will gain.

  • Dansk
    Dansk

    I stay as far away from negative people (and organisations) as I can! We need to surround ourselves with positivity and, as you rightly infer, it is foolishness to substitute one negativity with another, such as coming out of the JWs only to join some other controlling religious group - which just about includes all the religions of the world.

    It's great to enjoy one's freedom - often a freedom fought hard to attain.

    Ian

  • lowden
    lowden

    We can learn from negative experiences, when we look at them retrospectively. Being around negative people for prolonged periods though, is not good IMO. At the time we are in their company it drains us and gives us no pleasure at all. To help a negative person is very noble and at times necessary but when it starts encroaching on our own peace and mental health, it needs to be curtailed. It would be foolish to jump in and 'drown with the drowning man'.

    Peace

    Lowden

  • fullofdoubtnow
    fullofdoubtnow

    Good post free2berne

    After all the years of negativity in the wts, I find it uncomfortable to a degree to be amongst negative people nowadays. I have been encouraged by my new friends and, in particular, my boyfriend, to take a positive outlook on life now I am free. I think that those leaving the wts who don't do this take a lot longer to truly leave the org's influence behind them.

  • diamondblue1974
    diamondblue1974

    Fantastic thread....

    The only thing I learn from negative people is to avoid them...

    I have had my JW mother stay with me for the last week (which was bloody difficult) and it surprised me just how negative she actually was; I had noticed it previously but not to this extent and I had to battle to keep conversations positive and upbeat. No disrespect but I was glad to drop her off at home yesterday.

    The JW mindset teaches its members that such negativity is actually positive to such an extent that they dont even realise how negative they actually are; they are taught to soak up as much negativity as they possibly can (earthquakes, pestilence, people being faint out of fear blah bloody blah) in order to appreciate 'Jehovahs' so called blessings. Its no wonder so many suffer from depression as a result of being a witness.

    DB74

  • done4good
    done4good

    Excellent post free2beme.

    The JW mindset teaches its members that such negativity is actually positive to such an extent that they dont even realise how negative they actually are; they are taught to soak up as much negativity as they possibly can (earthquakes, pestilence, people being faint out of fear blah bloody blah) in order to appreciate 'Jehovahs' so called blessings. Its no wonder so many suffer from depression as a result of being a witness.

    Very, Very true.

    j

  • Fleur
    Fleur

    Negative people are like emotional vampires: you have to fight them off and protect yourself. If someone is going through a rough time and is depressed they need professional help and support from friends, yes, but the people who settle into it and embrace it as a way of life (the "Debbie Downers" of the world, of which there is a huge concentration not only in my family but of course among JW's) the best lesson you can learn is to run away fast.

    Of course, you have to be negative to fit in with JW's because they assume that if you're smiling or happy that you must be doing something wrong. For a group who are supposed to be Jehovah's Happy People they really are miserable most of the time.

    Wouldn't go back, couldn't go back to that. I really feel a lot of pity for them now.

    essie

  • poodlehead
    poodlehead

    I don't know if you agree with me but women tend to be more negative about themselves much more than men. So I tend to try and stay balanced with people who are possitive. It is really easy for me to get myself down. I suffer from depression and tend to lock into negative things about myself.

    I admire men who's gut is hidding there belt buckle, they have no hair or butt and think they are the sexiest thing in the world. Women don't do this, we gain 5 pounds and want to hide from the world. Now some women are comfortable in there own bodies, but a lot of us are not..

    My husband has a terrible problem of telling me daily that I have to loose weight. He also includes himself in that. But I just don't want to hear it. I have told him this and told him this. He does it for about a week and then starts again. Sometimes we just can't exscape negative people.

  • trevor
    trevor

    To me - there is no such thing as a negative experience in the giant scheme of things. All experience is worthwhile and contributes towards personal growth.

    We sometimes learn the most from what we perceive as negative experiences. Our biggest growth spurts come from our most painful experiences. The joy of life when it is going well is deepened by our experience of the bad times.

    Observing negative people and the impact their negativity has on their lives is a helpful and worthwhile exercise. Everyone has their story and their reasons.............

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