Jehovah's Witnesses, Child Abuse and Love

by Big Tex 20 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

  • Big Tex
    Big Tex

    In reading thirdwitness of late, I am reminded now how painful it was to deal with that level of cold, harsh denial. They don't even know what they say.

    For those innocents hurt by this strange, mean little sect I submit ...

    October 8, 1993 Awake:

    Tragically, adult society often unwittingly collaborates with child abusers. How so? By refusing to be aware of this danger, by fostering a hush-hush attitude about it, by believing oft-repeated myths. Ignorance, misinformation, and silence give safe haven to abusers, not their victims.

    If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.

    January 1, 1997 Watchtower:

    Depending on the law of the land where he lives, the molester may well have to serve a prison term or face other sanctions from the State. (The congregation will not protect him from this. )

    If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.

    The "two witness" rule of Jehovah's Witnesses regarding child abuse (from their website):

    When any one of Jehovah's Witnesses is accused of an act of child abuse, the local congregation elders are expected to investigate. Two elders meet separately with the accused and the accuser to see what each says on the matter. If the accused denies the charge, the two elders may arrange for him and the victim to restate their position in each other's presence, with elders also there. If during that meeting the accused still denies the charges and there are no others who can substantiate them, the elders cannot take action within the congregation at that time. Why not? As a Bible-based organization, we must adhere to what the Scriptures say

    Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way;

    1992 BOE letter:

    As members or the community in which Caesar still acts as God's minister and hence still has a certain authority, all in the Christian congregation would want to consider their personal and moral responsibility to alert the appropriate authorities in cases where there has been committed or there exists a risk that there might be committed a serious criminal offence of this type

    is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.

    Novemver 1, 1995 Watchtower:

    “Repressed memories” and similar expressions are enclosed in quotation marks to distinguish them from the more typical memories that all of us have."

    Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

    thirdwitness:

    Opposers say this is bad policy since child molesters usually do not molest with others around. This protects the molester and not the child.

    To this we say, The rule book is the Bible. Do we just throw that out. The two witness rule is actually a very good rule.

    Love never ends.

    November 15, 1973 Watchtower:

    "And by dragging fellow believers before pagan judges, they would bring great reproach upon God’s name. As outsiders would be led to believe that Christians were no different from other people in being unable to settle differences, the interests of true worship would be injured. It would have been far better for individual Christians to take personal loss rather than to injure the entire congregation by bringing their disputes to public notice."

    As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.

    November 15, 1973 Watchtower:

    "However, if any member of the Christian congregation, without regard for the effect of his action on the good name of the congregation, ignores the counsel from God’s Word on this matter, such one would not be "free from accusation" as a Christian. He would not be one who has "a fine testimony from people on the outside" of the congregation.

    For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away.

    January 1, 1997 Watchtower:

    "For the protection of our children, a man known to have been a child molester does not qualify for a responsible position in the congregation. Moreover, he cannot be a pioneer or serve in any other special, full-time service." He would not qualify Scripturally. We take such action because we are concerned with maintaining Bible standards and protecting our children. Everyone in our organization is expected to meet the same requirements, namely, to be clean physically, mentally, morally, and spiritually.

    When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.

    November 1, 1995 Watchtower:

    If there is some valid reason to suspect that the alleged perpetrator is still abusing children, a warning may have to be given. The congregation elders can help in such a case.

    For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.

    'official' statement on child abuse made by Jehovah's Witnesses on their website:

    Our procedures have been refined over time. Over the years, as we have noted areas where our policies could be strengthened, we have followed through. We are continuing to refine them. We do not believe that our system is perfect.

    So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three

    'official' statement on child abuse made by Jehovah's Witnesses on their website:

    Still, the safety of our children is of the utmost importance. We take it very seriously.

    but the greatest of these is love.

    To me, the saddest part of all of this is not the tens of thousands of men, women and children who have been hideously abused. But those who have the ability to step in and do not, or make policy to implement change and have not or, worst of all, those who do not care one whit about an innocent's pain and instead interested in maintaining the cold harsh fortress mentality and to hell with the cost.

    Perhaps even sadder is that these people will not ever allow themselves to see what is written in black and white and understand the horror in front of their eyes.

  • bikerchic
    bikerchic

    ((((((((Chris)))))))))

    To me, the saddest part of all of this is not the tens of thousands of men, women and children who have been hideously abused. But those who have the ability to step in and do not, or make policy to implement change and have not or, worst of all, those who do not care one whit about an innocent's pain and instead interested in maintaining the cold harsh fortress mentality and to hell with the cost.

    Perhaps even sadder is that these people will not ever allow themselves to see what is written in black and white and understand the horror in front of their eyes.

    Sad but so true! The phrase soul murders comes to mind.

  • Frannie Banannie
    Frannie Banannie

    (((((((((Big T)))))))) I know this subject is a sore spot with you and I want you to know what a wonderful job I think you've done in "bringing home" such pertinent information that should shame every jdubya who's "been there" in a position of authority and done harm to the victims and nothing towards true justice. Your points are so poignant and so critical to WT-BATS shame.

    Kudos to ya!

    Frannie

  • hillary_step
    hillary_step

    Big Tex,

    I know two people that I view as dear friends who have taught me what it is like to have been through the hell that you have and survived, I owe them both a lot. You are one of them. Your posts cut through all the games and the slings and arrows of outrageous behavior on this board to remind us all what it is really important in this puzzling passage called life.

    Thank you.

    HS

  • blondie
    blondie

    Excellent, Chris!

    This comes at a good time for me. In my abuse, it was easier to understand my father's actions than my mother's allowing it and still today saying that she had to protect herself first and truly believes that is normal.

    People who know about abuse, even have a suspicion, should go to the authorities right away. They will sort it out. It protects not only the ones who have already been abused but future victims.

    There are people today who still do not believe me or my siblings and treat us as if we were the criminals to have said anything, that we should just have remained quiet. Imagine shunning the victims but not the abuser! You understand what I'm saying.

    It certainly cleared up in my mind who my real friends and family were.

    Love, Blondie

  • bem
    bem

    ((((((((Chris))))))) A very good post, One of those I think of as therapy, Good for the writer. You get it out of your mind and heart get it down in print. Send it out like a note in a bottle , it's already helped you. And should someone pick it up after it has left you and they read it and it helps them. Then you have helped another persons journey.

    Dorothy

  • fullofdoubtnow
    fullofdoubtnow

    (((Chris)))

    Great post. It was the general attitude of the org to child abuse that first led me to question the wts doctrines.

    I can't imagine the sort of hell children subjected to sexual abuse go through, or what goes on in the minds of elders who have the ability to stop these things, but put loyalty to the org before common decency.

    I too have read the posts of the jw apologists on this board regarding this topic, all the tired old rhetoric about their child abuse policy and how effective it is.

    Your post cuts through all that rhetoric, and tells how things really are for a child being abused in the wts. Thankyou for that.

    Maybe the day will come when they see that for themselves, and make changes, but I guess none of us are holding our breath.

    love

    Linda

  • Joe Grundy
    Joe Grundy

    As a not, never have been a JW, but a retired professional who dealt with too much child abuse, can I please post this plea?

    Do not ever, ever, allow anyone (apart from parents/carers of course) anywhere near a child abuse victim unless and until the professionals have done their jobs and finished with their interviews. The parents/carers should share no details with anyone else - especially not the alleged or putative abuser or anyone connected with them.

    The professionals work under very strict guidelines and rules to ensure that the evidence of the victim is not 'tainted' - i.e. can't be excluded by a court.

    There is nothing more distressing than a victim who has gone through the pain and horror of all this only to find that because others have got involved (and that would include 'elders' of a mind control cult) their evidence, which they have gone through so much pain to give, is discounted.

    I don't mean to sound preachy, but this is something I feel very strongly about.

    ALL and ANY suspicions of abuse should be reported immediately. It is a principle of the law in these matters (in the UK at least) that 'early complaint' may be a corroborative factor.

  • serendipity
    serendipity


    ((( Chris )))

    The scriptures condemn their actions, but they ARE too blind (or power hungry) to see.

  • Big Tex
    Big Tex

    Thanks Kate and Frannie. I appreciate it.

    HS

    I'm honored. Truly. Well you know the old axiom that if your message reaches just one person . . . .

    In my abuse, it was easier to understand my father's actions than my mother's allowing it and still today saying that she had to protect herself first and truly believes that is normal

    That's very common Blondie. It's sort of like 'well I know my dad's crazy but you're supposed to know better.' I know you know this, but in a dysfunctional family it's like living in some sort of Alice in Wonderland from hell.

    People who know about abuse, even have a suspicion, should go to the authorities right away. They will sort it out. It protects not only the ones who have already been abused but future victims.

    YES!! What has always irritated me about some people who are contemptuous of abuse victims ("Well I would have reported it") is oftentimes growing up in a dysfunctional family, you don't know, really know, that you can say NO to people. Part of recovery is learning how to ask for help. It's such a basic skill, and the public at large learns it at such an early age, they don't realize how many times abuse victims have not ever been taught how to get help. Then couple that with fear (of disapproval, the unknown, the abuse itself) and shame over what was done to them and it makes it very difficult for victims to stand up to pig headed janitor elders and go to the police.

    One of those I think of as therapy, Good for the writer. You get it out of your mind and heart get it down in print. Send it out like a note in a bottle , it's already helped you. And should someone pick it up after it has left you and they read it and it helps them

    Yeah it did help me. I decided to finally sit down and read thirdwitness' treatise on child abuse. Leaving aside the poor grammar, misspelled words and wild rambling, I was struck at how mean spirited it was. It's one thing to defend your religion but it's quite another to ridicule 3 women who had the courage to report their abuse. Reading it, frankly sickened me.

    All I could think of was 1 Cor. 13. I mean isn't a religion, especially a Christian one, supposed to have as its core philosphy the concept of love? Isn't a religion supposed to point the way toward a higher and nobler ideal? Shouldn't they be teaching how to apply love toward each other, or demand ethical behavior from their followers or just showing common human decency?

    I can't imagine seeing someone in real pain and then mocking them simply because acknowleding their pain would mean my religion made a mistake. And so I copied and pasted the Society's own words and compared them to Paul's. The difference is striking. I think.

    I can't imagine the sort of hell children subjected to sexual abuse go through, or what goes on in the minds of elders who have the ability to stop these things, but put loyalty to the org before common decency

    Yeah this is me as well. I've often wondered what these men think in the middle of the night, when no one's around and there's no game to play, really how do they justify it? Or maybe they don't. In which case, how do they live with it? Dunno.

    Do not ever, ever, allow anyone (apart from parents/carers of course) anywhere near a child abuse victim unless and until the professionals have done their jobs and finished with their interviews. The parents/carers should share no details with anyone else - especially not the alleged or putative abuser or anyone connected with them.

    The professionals work under very strict guidelines and rules to ensure that the evidence of the victim is not 'tainted' - i.e. can't be excluded by a court.

    There is nothing more distressing than a victim who has gone through the pain and horror of all this only to find that because others have got involved (and that would include 'elders' of a mind control cult) their evidence, which they have gone through so much pain to give, is discounted.

    I don't mean to sound preachy, but this is something I feel very strongly about.

    Me too. And I've been told I'm preachy as well. But it's also why I'll talk about abuse 'cause you never know who's reading. I think if you keep talking about it, it's just that much more difficult to keep the subject in the dark.

    The scriptures condemn their actions, but they ARE too blind (or power hungry) to see

    Blind with no desire to see. I guarantee you the elders in my old KH, or JW apologists online wouldn't bat an eye over this thread. If anything they would be angry. Which says a lot.

    Chris

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