Did anything stick? (page 2)

Swan

Lots of people turn their lives around without the JWs. People are basically good, anyway. There's AA, NA and other groups that people go to for help to change. There are counselors, therapists, and rehab that people go to for help. Some people have found the fortitude within their own selves to change. These people never needed the JWs to do that.

I still think I'm a very kind and caring person without the JWs. I do speak my mind and think my own thoughts now, so maybe that makes me evil in their eyes because I am a free thinker and not a robot.

I don't smoke; but just because someone smokes, it doesn't make them evil. Lot's of good people smoke. Smoking isn't a healthy habit, but it certainly isn't the evil demonistic practice the JWs claim either.

Tammy

jgnat

By way of reassurance, agapa, the counsellor Steve Hassan encourages exited members to acknowledge the positive results of their experience in a high-control group, on their way to healing. www.freedomofmind.com

ozziepost

agapa:

I can honestly say that the constant reminders of putting on the new personality and direction they gave to help me to do so has changed me forever for the good

For your encouragement: many sincere though unsuspecting people who became dubs would strive very hard to do just as you describe "the new personality". As a sidepoint, other cults advocate the same thing e.g. scientologists do that. Anyway, I digress. Part of the reason for advocating putting on this new personality in the sense of 'it's all up to you', is that the Witnesses' faith is works based i.e. they believe that their salvation depends on what they do. This is quite different to christian belief which teaches that it's nothing to do with you but what God does that's important. Putting on the new personality as described in the Bible was really all about cooperating obediently and humbly with God who is molding you into His likeness.

As another poster has pointed out, the changes you made in your life were down to what you did for yourself and so there's no reason why they should fail you or leave you.

Cheers, Ozzie

agapa37

swan I think you may have misunderstood my intentions for this thread. I know that people makes changes for the good without being a JW, I was just simply wondering if for some, positive changes were made for thier benefit from being in the org.

tan

However, the joys of being free from the org by far outweigh any benefits I may have gained from being a jw.

I agree. The only thing that really sticks in mind are the "sex" issues. Sex before marriage, dishonoring our heavenly father if we do have sex. It makes it very difficult to concentrate when you're think that you're commiting a grave sin. Its so engraved into your conscious when you're in that you have to find some way to get it out of your head and enjoy life.

Swan

swan I think you may have misunderstood my intentions for this thread. I know that people makes changes for the good without being a JW, I was just simply wondering if for some, positive changes were made for thier benefit from being in the org.

I understand. Since I was raised in it, I have no opportunity to know for sure in my own experience. I do think I am very messed up from my abusive past, and several counselors now have agreed with me. If there were any benefits, they are hard to see through the tears. Tammy

agapa37

Swan I have sympothy for you.

fullofdoubtnow

The only thing that really sticks in mind are the "sex" issues.

Yes, I know what you mean. I live with my bf now, and when I first moved in I used to have guilty feelings about sleeping with him. I still do, to a degree, but less so now. It wasn't that I see anything wrong with sex outside of marriage between two people who love each other, but all those years of being told it is wrong had a residual effect on me.

I guess when someone leaves the org they do have a somewhat distorted view of what life is really all about, and it takes time to learn how to live in the "world" again. I am learning, but I know my training isn't complete yet.

Ironhead

Agapa. I was a warmongering man before becoming a witness, and I used to say the truth changed me. In reality, it was me who wanted to change before becoming a jw, and yes Bible principles helped. However, I became self-righteous, arrogant and moody due to watchtower doctrines.

agapa37

Another positive thing I learned being in the ORG, unfortunatley from a bad experience, but it was not to expect perfection from people.

Did anything stick?

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