One more down the drain-marriage-divorce

by sspo 25 Replies latest jw friends

  • sspo

    In the defense of the elders, i don't think any of them supports a divorce, expecially because i was able to convince the elders i was not an apostate and turned the table on the watchtower for stumbling me for the UN ,Malawy,Mexico affairs, and many other things where are brothers lost their lives because of their changing policy.

    After telling them a few things and how i was stumbled by the faithful and discreet slaves, they were very kind and understanding but my wife did not appreciate their kindness toward me.

    I was an elder for 2 decades and one thing you learn you never encourage a mate to break a marriage, that's a personal decision.

    Thanks for your support

  • Swan

    I am so sorry it has come to this.


  • choosing life
    choosing life

    So sorry-this must be devastating. Jesus said there is only one reason for divorce. This is just another example of them making their own rules that go above the Bible itself. I hope she sees the wrongness of the way she's treating you. Maybe some time alone and reflection will bring her back to you. But all the support she gets at the hall will have to wear off first. Then she will see just how much these people are truly not there for her. Not like you have been.Don't give up hope.

  • Gill

    (((((((((( sspo )))))))))))) I am so sorry BUT, as others here have said, it may well be a different story when she's been away from you for a while. Things don't always go from bad to worse.

    My husband left JW land before me. I insisted that I would always still be a JW. However......this lasted another six months and I left la la land, mainly because he was so kind and considerate to me.. Then after another year or so I started looking into the JWs and the rest is history.

    Don't give up. You know you're right!

  • Dansk

    sspo ((((((((((((Manly Hugs))))))))))):

    it sure hurts losing your mate after almost 27 years.

    I identified with that statement immediately as Claire and I celebrate 28 years in December. I'd be devastated if she left so I know how you must be hurting.

    Tell me, do you have any children?


    What a great story. I'm so pleased it worked out for you both - now perhaps sspo's wife might do the same as you did! Hopefully, she'll realise just what she's lost!


  • jwfacts

    I am so sorry. 27 years is such a good effort, how can she throw all that away? It amazes me the crazied mindset JWs have.

  • vitty

    She may regret leaving you in time. If she has to fend for herself, and she may become VERY lonely doing the JW thing on her own. She may think she will be free to concentrate on the truth but Ive know sisters whose marriages have broken up and like Gill says 6 months and they are sorry.

    If you want her back, stay in the background , be very kind and loving. She may realize what an idiot she was in giving you up

    oh, and tell everyone in the KH how much you want her to stay ! If youve been a good husband, they wont be on her side

    Do you still go to meetings and are you in the same hall ????????

  • LittleToe

    Sorry to hear that news. Having been thrtough the same, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. The only advise I can offer is to encourage you to remember that after the grieving subsides there is light at the end of the tunnel... Btw, it's been so long since they studied the "absolute spiritual endangerment" article that I would suggest that it might have been pointed out to her and/or corroborated by an Elder. That was certainly the case with my ex.

  • diamondblue1974

    Sorry to hear of your loss and hope that it is only temporary.

    A friend of mine is going through something similar and his expression was that no marriage can survive with a third party being present in it...that third party being the WTS. I think he has a valid point. To allow them to have such a controlling influence over your relationship is unreasonable behaviour on her part and there is not a lot you can do until she sees the light of day.

    I remember from my dub days that the WTS speaks of a three fold cord and how nothing could be stronger....whilst that might be the case in terms of strength I think its a poor analogy. The bond between husband and wife or partners is a close one with nothing closer...with another cord being present surely the original two cords are not as close...the presence of a third cord always prevents them from being so IMO.


  • Gill

    DB!!! You're Back! Had a good time?

    It's a bit like saying (the three cord marriage bit) that every marriage needs a mother in law! Does it? Does it really need a third party to control the other two parties? Infact, it appears that when it comes to a JW marriage, it's this imaginary friend of the husband and wife that causes all the misery.

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