A Beginners Guide To Apostacy

by fullofdoubtnow 12 Replies latest jw friends

  • fullofdoubtnow
    fullofdoubtnow

    This is something Trev wrote the other day specially for our friend Marion. She spent most yesterday with us, and shared our "apostadinner" which is what Trev called it. She quite enjoyed the article, which is written in a somewhat tongue - in - cheek style, typical Trev really. He doesn't mention the jws, but alludes to them. Anyway, see what you think:

    A BEGINNERS GUIDE TO APOSTASY

    1. The early stages of apostasy

    Like many things in life, the first steps on the road to apostasy are often the hardest. It can be quite upsetting to be even labelled an apostate, after no doubt hearing so many negative things about apostates over the years. Some people even go as far as implying that apostates are criminals, and should be treated as such. However, the definition of an apostate is someone who has abandoned a previously – held religious belief which, at this moment in time at least, has not become a crime.

    Contrary to rumours that have been known to circulate in a certain religious organisation, becoming an apostate does not necessarily alter ones physical appearance, although some men have been known to grow their hair longer and even cultivate beards, while female apostates may dress in a slightly more revealing manner once they are used to their new role.

    The change that apostasy brings is from within, but it is a gradual, rather than a sudden change. Indeed, the new apostate may cling to some of his previously – held beliefs for a considerable time, and continue to use expressions peculiar to that religion in his everyday speech. He may, at times even find himself unwittingly defending his former beliefs, even though he is no longer a believer himself. However with the passage of time, these instances occur less often, and eventually stop altogether as the apostate becomes accustomed to thinking for himself instead of allowing his former religious leaders to do all his thinking for him.

    2. Progressing as an apostate

    Once the new apostate has negotiated the often difficult early stages of apostasy, he starts to become accustomed to the new – found sense of freedom that many more experienced apostates take for granted. Now he is no longer attending 5 religious indoctrination meetings per week, or spending 10 or more hours per month trying to indoctrinate others, he finds he has much more time on his hands, and needs to look for ways to use that time wisely. If the apostate has previously spent many years trying to comply with the rules of his former religious organisation, he has become accustomed to leading a very busy life. Now that he is no longer living in accordance with those rules, he has much more time for relaxation, and to pursue other activities that he never had the time to even consider before.

    However, this new – found freedom comes at a price.

    It is likely that the apostates’ social life will have previously revolved around the religious organisation that he has now left behind. Most, if not all of his friends and even his family may still be members of the organisation, and will likely have decided to limit or even cease their association with him. Therefore, he now has the task of rebuilding his social life virtually from scratch, often without any previous experience of what life is really like outside the close – knit group he has been a part of for so long. This in itself can be a daunting task, and the apostate needs to exercise caution in choosing the type of activities he is going to become involved in to try and utilise the abundance of time he now has for himself.

    Whatever activities he eventually chooses, the apostate would be wise, initially at least, to try to pursue his new – found interests on days when he would previously have been expected to report for indoctrination sessions. Those are the times when he may miss his previous life the most, when all his former friends are enjoying each others company, and he may well feel he is missing out, particularly if he is at the start of his apostate journey. Also, by pursuing his new interests on indoctrination days, the apostate is reaffirming to himself that he is no longer under the control of his former religious masters: he is now making his own decisions about his future, not having them decided for him.

    3. Not all apostates are the same

    Surprisingly perhaps, apostasy can take several different forms. There are those apostates who are so relieved to have escaped the high control group they have been part of that they no longer acknowledge the existence of their former masters. They rid themselves completely of any literature they may have accumulated during their time in the group, and never reveal their previous affiliation to the new people they meet. This may be due in some ways to embarrassment for allowing themselves to be so easily indoctrinated into the group when they were first contacted.

    Then there are those who will admit to having been part of their former religion if asked, but will neither volunteer such information or discuss the sort of beliefs they held or activities they participated in. They may also feel a little embarrassed that they were ever members of such an organisation, but are at least willing to acknowledge the fact.

    These two groups can perhaps be categorised as passive apostates. They have escaped their former bondage, and are happy with that. They may, in time, develop a dislike or even a hatred of their former religion, but don’t feel the need to speak against it, or may not be inclined to because of family who may still be members.

    There are, however, those apostates who actively oppose their former religion. This activity can take several forms, as some apostates stand outside larger gatherings of their former brothers and sisters and demonstrate against them. Yet others distribute literature in the area in which they live warning against the indoctrination techniques of their former masters, and some have set up internet web sites containing information that may be damaging to the group that they are no longer part of. There are several discussion forums on the internet, where former members meet to discuss their experiences in the group, and help others who are just exiting themselves to progress on their own apostate journey.

    These active apostates are the ones who are considered by far the most dangerous by the religion of which they were once members. They actively encourage current group members to examine their beliefs independently, without the use of group literature, knowing very well that this can often be the start of the process that leads the unsuspecting member into apostate thinking. If this happens, they do not hide their delight in seeing another previously – faithful member leave the group, often congratulating him on his new – found freedom. Perhaps not surprisingly, current group members are often reminded at the regular indoctrination sessions they attend to steer well clear of such people, and to stay away from the internet forums on which they gather.

    Whichever course the new apostate decides on, the rewards of apostasy are the same. Once they have got used to the sense of freedom which comes with becoming an apostate, they are able to set goals for themselves in personal matters, social activities, education and employment without fearing the disapproval of senior members of their former religion. In time, the apostate will have shaken off all vestiges of his former beliefs, and even the most pleasant memories of his time in the group will fade away. When that day arrives, then the apostate will, in every sense of the word, be truly free.

  • crazyblondeb
    crazyblondeb

    Well said! An interesting view of the different personalities.

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    Tongue in cheek or not - that was an accurate discription. Thanx for posting.

    Jeff

  • Arthur
    Arthur
    becoming an apostate does not necessarily alter ones physical appearance, although some men have been known to grow their hair longer and even cultivate beards,

    This cracks me up. I remember when I was a little kid, it seemed like all of the male apostates outside the conventions had beards, and shaggy hair. There would be about 30 people outside the one location where we would go in. I swear, all of the guys looked like Jerry Garcia, and the women all looked like Janis Joplin. It looked like a Vietnam war protest.

  • done4good
    done4good

    I would say it's pretty accurate.

    j

  • BizzyBee
    BizzyBee

    Well done, Trev! Thanks for sharing.

  • fullofdoubtnow
    fullofdoubtnow


    This was written mainly for our friend Marion, but I thought it was worth posting, and Trev has sometimes thought of doing a series of helpful hints for leavers, ie "How to deal with Shunning", "How to rebuild your social life" etc. Him and a couple of his ex elder pals are building a website for local ex jws and faders, and putting stuff like that on it, so maybe there will be more to come...

    wts spies, you have been warned lol!

    Linda

  • earthtone
    earthtone

    This was right on target! From how you feel, when you first exit. Really good article and funny.

  • Dansk
    Dansk

    Excellent, Trev! Good post, Linda!

    Ian

  • Finally-Free
    Finally-Free
    becoming an apostate does not necessarily alter ones physical appearance,

    It has been noticed, though, that apostates™ tend to smile more - not the sort of fake, plastic smiles typically found in the kingdom hall, but the sort that comes from genuine happiness and freedom.

    W

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