Just joined

by pat1 33 Replies latest jw experiences

  • twinkletoes

    Hi Pat, welcome to the board, you will find lots of helpful advice here, and people who you can really share your problems with. I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through at present. As others have said, you don't have to "shun" them, so go ahead either write to your Dad or if possible just turn up at the house to see him. If they are shunning you now it can't get any worse if they turn you away, but hopefully you will be able to see your dad.

    Keep in touch


  • KW13

    hey welcome to the forum, i am 100% certain you'll find being here useful in freeing yourself properly.

  • Madame Quixote
    Madame Quixote

    Welcome, Pat. We're here for you. What part of Australia are you from?

  • fullofdoubtnow

    Hi pat1, and welcome to the forum, I am so happy that you found us.


  • pat1

    Thankyou everyone for your kind words. So many of them I dont know which to reply first. I love my father deeply and his faith in that his religion is the truth , is far greater than mine that it is not (the truth). I am sure if I rocked up on there doorstep they would speek to me, but I know this would hurt them and they would feel ashamed in gods eyes that they have done something wrong. I dont want this, I want a smile to come to there faces and I want to welcomed with open arms and invited inside. I think if I saw my parents and family and this didnt happen it would be the end for me. Someone else asked about the two elders who were in the commitee who disfellowshiped me and how they lyed and why didnt I dispute the fact. You are right I should of ! but these men were just acting on Gods behalf and he was kicking me out (so I was told), and I became bitter as storys and lies started to be told about me. ........................I dont know maybe I should go back and get reinstated just for my familys sake ! ....kind regards Pat Oh and I am on the Gold coast in Queensland Australia

  • perthwogboy


    Pat, there are many of us who can relate to your experience and what you must be going through. We are here to help, to give advice, to have a listening ear and share our experiences with you. As I am also new to this site, I have gained valuble insight and have realised that I am not alone as to what I have been through, growing up as a JW. I hope everything works out for you mate!

  • evita

    Hi Pat
    Welcome to the board!
    I can relate to what you're going through. My JW mom died of cancer almost 2 years ago. We had a very strained relationshio for over 20 years because I left the witnesses I experienced many painful years of shunning and always felt her sadness and disappointment in me. When she became ill things changed. She very much wanted to see me and my siblings and spend time with us before she died. Even though she remained a firm believer (and professed to be of the 144,000) she was able to put that aside somewhat and focus on the natural love parents and children have for one another.
    I cannot give you advice as everyone has different circumstances. But I will say what others have. Do everything you can to spend time with your dad before he passes away. You will not regret it even if it is painful to deal with the JW stuff and the emotional aspects of a parents death. Don't worry about the witness stuff like getting reinstated etc. Just show up for your father and be yourself.
    I will look forward to your future posts. There are many experienced folks here who can help.

  • pat1

    Thankyou all once again ..... I have spent nearly the last two days on this site, looking at the different articles "opostate articles" and all.I feel so sad that I devoted my whole life to this religion and my family and all that I love still does. I dont know if I could ever talk to them about what I have learned or what I believe in now (not that they would talk to me anyhow). I am still finding it hard to believe and a little bit sad that I did not find this website sooner , as the last seven years have been lonely ones without being able to talk to people who have gone through the same situation.

  • jgnat

    Hi, pat. I think you need help making sense of your experience. You are still mourning all you have lost eight years ago. This is not good, not good at all. You might need to talk to a counsellor to untangle your thoughts. Here's an example of how the organization still has a powerful hold over you:

    as my father who I love dearly and think of on a daily basis has cancer and I dont know what I am suposed to do as he doesnt have long to go.

    A regular person doesn't ask what he is supposed to do, he just does. You love your father, go see him. Speak to him of all that is in your heart. Even though you know your presence might hurt them, that pain is not caused by you. That pain is caused by an unnatural system that drives a wedge between the natural love of a father for his son.

    I would really like to see you make a fresh, new life for yourself full of friends and laughter. It is possible, you know, out in the big, bad world.

  • diamondblue1974

    Welcome to the forum Pat1

    It sounds like you have suffered your fair share of losses and I hope you get back everything you lost 10 fold in some way or another....perhaps a way to look at this is that you have paid a hefty price for your freedom; enjoy it, embrace it and stick around.


Share this