Lying about going to meetings...what are your thoughts?

by stillAwitness 28 Replies latest jw experiences

  • stillAwitness

    As many of you know, I live on my own now and yesterday was quite a scare since my bf and I are $35 short on the rent! LOL! We are already 5 days late but thank goodness I just started my very first waitressing job and made my first $45 tonight. (Its a new restaurant and have had not had their offical grand opening night yet so tips will get better) I love being on my own although my mom still tries to at least get me going to meetings again. She won't help me entirely (she says when I was living at home everything was paid for so now that I have moved I made the choice to pay for everything on my own) But today she did say she would give me like $30 to hold me over Anyways, she has mentioned meetings also (I've lied and told her I still go. What do you guys think of this?) I think eventually I will have to think of something else. I mean, she's already asked if I have let the elders in the new hall know me so they can transfer my new literature over and if not then the elders from the old hall will want to talk to me.

  • MidwichCuckoo

    If you're not going to meetings, then it's only a matter of time before your Mum finds out. Doesn't sound like it will be too long either - would she contact your 'New Hall' just to see how you're ''settling in''? I think you have to weigh up the consequences of being honest now against those of being found out.

    Personally, I think lying is never a good thing - if found out your Mum could blame it on your new lifestyle (leaving home etc, mixing with 'Worldly' people getting you into such things as being dishonest) and it's also stressful for you.

    As you're now working too, and coping with life changes, you have less time to attend meetings - perhaps you could use your busy lifestyle to fade.

  • Highlander

    As you're now working too, and coping with life changes, you have less time to attend meetings - perhaps you could use your busy lifestyle to fade.

    Excellent. You've stated that you have a job as a waitress. I suggest that you request to work on 'meeting' nights. This will explain your absence from bookstudy and tm school.

    Then you could attend sunday, once or twice a month. Do this for quite a few months, then slowly fade away. You could have your records transfered to your local kingdumb hall,

    which will keep your mom and her elders off your back. Your mere presence at the new hall, once a month or so will be enough to tease the new elders till you completely fade away.

  • Gregor


    I'm not sure I've got the picture. It sounds like you are living with a bf (boyfriend)? Isn't that a little more risky than lying about meeting attendance? Sorry if I missed something.

  • serendipity

    HI stilla,

    I like the suggestion to use your job as an excuse for not going to meetings. If you lie and say you're going to meetings, it will be easier to get caught in the lie. Your mom could talk to someone at that cong or she could ask you questions about meeting content.

  • fullofdoubtnow

    I feel you have one of two options - either tell your mum you aren't attending meetings at all or, as Highlander suggested, go very occasionally for a while, then just fade away.

    I don't think lying is a good idea, as it would be fairly easy for your mum to find you out, and then she may be more upset with you than ever.

  • What-A-Coincidence

    as others have suggested, do not lie. it's not to your advantage.

    "i was planning on going but unforseen circumstances did not allow me to go"

    "i know satan does not want me to go and I know, but I am trying" etc.

    hope that works untill you fullfill your fade or something

    peace out!

  • karen96

    I'm in agreement with the others - Lying often doesn't help and causes more problems than the truth. One day your mother may want to join you at your KH, and then what? She will see that you have not been attending.

    I suggest using your job as an out, but really, what is the point? If I remember your story right, it was "Attend the meeting or get out", right? So now that you are out of their home, they are still forcing you to attend meetings? Only you can decide what is best for you and your relationship with your parents, but being up front with them about your feelings in regards to meeting attendance will probably be the best course. Just MHO.


  • luna2

    Sweetie, be honest. You don't have to tell your folks that you don't believe any more, but outright lying about going to the meetings creates stress for you and will cause your parents to go ballistic when they find out the truth...which they most likely will.

    Glad you were able to make your rent. Hope next month isn't so tight.

  • minimus

    Oh Stilla, you're too much. Maybe lying is easy for you to do, huh?? Don't worry, your mommy will help you out and your daddy won't even know about it. YAY!! And then your mommy can think that you're being a good widdle girl and reading your magazines every week. And daddy will never ever know!

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