smart ass answers

by moomanchu 11 Replies latest social humour

  • moomanchu

    5 Winning Smart Ass Answers For 2005

    Smart Ass Answer #5:

    A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.

    As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened

    his trench coat and flashed at her.

    Without missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not

    your stub."
    ***************** Smart Ass Answer #4: A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but

    she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy,

    "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

    The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
    ******************* Smart Ass Answer #3: The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding

    rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop


    The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the

    cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a

    ******************* Smart Ass Answer #2: A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that

    reads, "

    ******************* #1 SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2005..................... . A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.

    "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here

    tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury

    or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other

    excuses whatsoever!"

    A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What

    would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter

    sexual exhaustion?"

    The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was

    restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shaking her head
    and sweetly said "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your

    other hand."

  • lonelysheep

    LMAO at #1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • lonelysheep


  • What-A-Coincidence

    so that guy must hold the record the masturbate-a-thon!

    those were def. smart ass anwers.

    w-a-c is on the attack!

  • purplesofa
    Smart Ass Answer #2: A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that

    reads, "

    reads WHAT?!!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!!??!?! what does it read?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!??!

  • SirNose586

    "A sign comes up that reads...."

    What, man??

  • purplesofa

    maybe i didn't get it?!?!?!

    wouldnt be the first time.

  • What-A-Coincidence

    google it guys!!!

    here it is

    A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads "low bridge ahead." He tries to turn off but, before he knows it, the bridge is right there and he gets stuck under it. Cars are backed up for miles.

    Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck huh?"

    The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas"

  • bem

    #2 was one of the here's your sign jokes. funny.

    But I really liked # 1 joke that was funny!

  • fullofdoubtnow

    All very funny, especially #1

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