Are YOU Ready For The Rapture?

by sixsixsixtynine 13 Replies latest social humour

  • sixsixsixtynine
    sixsixsixtynine

    ....or will you be 'Left Behind'? The Rapt-O-Meter has crept up to 158. You've been warned.

    http://www.raptureready.com/rap2.html

  • SWALKER
    SWALKER

    I was really worried for a few minutes when I couldn't find Ann Coulter...then I saw Anti-Christ!!! Whew, that was scary!!! LOL!

    Swalker

  • Warlock
    Warlock

    Is this a remake of that song by Blondie?

    Warlock

  • SWALKER
    SWALKER

    Blondie's Rapture sounds pretty much the same :

    Blondie - Rapture (Original Promo Single Version) Lyrics

    Toe to toe
    Dancing very slow
    Barely breathing
    Almost comatose
    Wall to wall
    People hypnotized
    And they're stepping lightly
    Hang each night in Rapture
    Back to back
    Sacrailiac
    Spinless movement
    And a wild attack
    Face to face
    Sadly solitude
    And it's finger popping
    Twenty-four hour shopping in Rapture
    Fab Five Freddie told me everybody's high
    DJ's spinnin' are savin' my mind
    Flash is fast, Flash is cool
    Francois sez fas, Flashe' no do
    And you don't stop, sure shot
    Go out to the parking lot
    And you get in your car and you drive real far
    And you drive all night and then you see a light
    And it comes right down and lands on the ground
    And out comes a man from Mars
    And you try to run but he's got a gun
    And he shoots you dead and he eats your head
    And then you're in the man from Mars
    You go out at night, eatin' cars
    You eat Cadillacs, Lincolns too
    Mercurys and Subarus
    And you don't stop, you keep on eatin' cars
    Then, when there's no more cars
    You go out at night and eat up bars where the people meet
    Face to face, dance cheek to cheek
    One to one, man to man
    Dance toe to toe
    Don't move to slow, 'cause the man from Mars
    Is through with cars, he's eatin' bars
    Yeah, wall to wall, door to door, hall to hall
    He's gonna eat 'em all
    Rapture, be pure
    Take a tour, through the sewer
    Don't strain your brain, paint a train
    You'll be singin' in the rain
    I said don't stop, do punk rock
    Man to man, body muscular
    Sismic decibel by the jugular
    Wall to wall, tea time technology and a digital ladder
    No sign of bad luck in rapture
    Well now you see what you wanna be
    Just have your party on TV
    'Cause the man from Mars won't eat up bars when the TV's on
    And now he's gone back up to space
    Where he won't have a hassle with the human race
    And you hip-hop, and you don't stop
    Just blast off, sure shot
    'Cause the man from Mars stopped eatin' cars and eatin' bars
    And now he only eats guitars, get up!
  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    Yeah, I thought you were talking about the Blondie song too.

  • Country Girl
    Country Girl

    The Bible says that no one will know the time/hour or the day, so to always be ready. I'm ready. As far as RAPTURE METERS, just another way to make people get scared.

    CG

  • DanTheMan
    DanTheMan

    lol

    Did anybody see the show "Dog Bites Man" where they went to a Christian merchandising conference? They were asking this guy about this video game he had created that was based on the "Left Behind" novels. The interviewer asked him what the difference was between, say, a "Lord of the Rings" game and his Left Behind game. The response was something like "Well, LOTR is fantasy, this is REAL."

  • jstalin
    jstalin

    ARKANSAS CITY (AP) —

    A Little Rock woman was killed yesterday after leaping through her moving car's sun roof during an incident best described as "a mistaken rapture" by dozens of eye witnesses. Thirteen other people were injured after a twenty-car pile up resulted from people trying to avoid hitting the woman who was apparently convinced that the rapture was occurring when she saw twelve people floating up into the air, and then passed a man on the side of the road who she claimed was Jesus.

    "She started screaming "He's back, He's back" and climbed right out of the sunroof and jumped off the roof of the car," said Everett Williams, husband of 28-year-old Georgann Williams who was pronounced dead at the scene. "I was slowing down but she wouldn't wait till I stopped," Williams said.

    She thought the rapture was happening and was convinced that Jesus was gonna lift her up into the sky," he went on to say. "This is the strangest thing I've seen since I've been on the force," said Paul Madison, first officer on the scene. Madison questioned the man who looked like Jesus and discovered that he was dressed up as Jesus and was on his way to a toga costume party when the tarp covering the bed of his pickup truck came loose and released twelve blow up sex dolls filled with helium which floated up into the air.

    Ernie Jenkins, 32, of Fort Smith, who's been told by several of his friends that he looks like Jesus, pulled over and lifted his arms into the air in frustration, and said , "Come back here," just as the Williams' car passed him, and Mrs. Williams was sure that it was Jesus lifting people up into the sky as they passed by him, according to her husband, who says his wife loved Jesus more than anything else.

    When asked for comments about the twelve sex dolls, Jenkins replied "This is all just too weird for me. I never expected anything like this to happen."

  • Warlock
    Warlock

    jstalin,

    Now that I have stopped crying from reading that story, where did you get it?

    Warlock

  • jstalin
    jstalin

    warlock - it's a joke I received in an email some time ago...

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