Why is the Victim Always Wrong?

by Warlock 21 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Warlock

    I lurked here for about 6 or 7 months, before I started posting.

    I have read experience after experience in which THE VICTIM of gossip, slander, abuse in the congregation is the one who is made to feel like THEY are the ones who need to apologize, when they are the ones that need the apology from the perpetrators of the injustice.

    One theme that continues to repeat itself in the congregation is this: The victim is always wrong and the victimizer is always right. Why?


  • Auchmull

    Perhaps because it makes those who stood by and did nothing feel better about themselves?

  • Finally-Free

    Most JWs are abusive in one way or another, and that's why they usually side with abusers.


  • wednesday

    with sex molestation etc usually the victims are children and women. Children and women are of little value to a male orienteed society such as jws. we are expendable.

  • Good Girl or Bad Girl?
    Good Girl or Bad Girl?

    If the victimizer is wrong then there might be something wrong with the organization. Many times the victimizer is someone in a relative position of authority, an elder, a pioneer, an elder's wife, a strong publisher... so they can't be wrong because they are "appointed by Jehovah."

    If the victim is always made out to be wrong, they can say he/she needs an attitude adjustment and then things will be fine. It's a way to keep the "rank and file" in line.

    My 2cents.


  • Dismembered

    Greetings Warlock,

    When are you going to get it through your thick head, the victimizer is never wrong. Anyone who becomes a victim didn't go out in service enough.


  • Warlock

    Howdy Big Hat,

    As long as my eyes work, I will never get anything through my thick skull.


  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    The "blame the victim" mentality is common is all forms of abuse, whether parent/child, spouse/spouse, or group/member. It is a control mechanism designed specifically to instill fear and to silence the victim.

    As long as an abuser can silence the victim/s they maintain their power and control over others. They are able to maintain the illusion they are good while those who disobey are bad. And therefore they are able to continue to abuse.

  • fullofdoubtnow
    If the victimizer is wrong then there might be something wrong with the organization

    That nails it for me. The jws value the reputation of the wts above everything else, and their first priority is to protect that reputation, no matter how hurt the victims may be.

  • Quandry


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