Why is the Victim Always Wrong?

by Warlock 21 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Forscher
    One theme that continues to repeat itself in the congregation is this: The victim is always wrong and the victimizer is always right. Why?

    Because that is the way psychopathic personalities think. I am sure we can agree that the WTBTS is a psychopathic culture and promotes that kind of thinking on the part of its leaders. That was the way the judge, himself psychopathic I am sure, set up the organization to be. So it is not at all suprising to see it blame its victims.

  • BizzyBee

    As my dad used to say, "Might makes right."

    Or the Golden Rule: He who has the gold (power) makes the rules.

  • daystar

    This is the way "karma" is supposed to work as well, and one reason why I have such a problem with it.

    To someone who believes in karma (perhaps there are different theories on it, but this is the way believers have explained it to me, and how I've seen it explained in books), the victim always drew the negative experience to them, if not in this life, in some prior life.

    Now, I can understand cause and effect in a current lifetime playing out. But to explain an innocent being harmed as being karma's repayment for something done in a past life is preposterous to me.

    In this sort of thing, the Witnesses have much in common with much of the eastern tradition and western New Agers.

    Perhaps someone here who believes in karma might be able to explain how it might not contribute to a victim mentality.

  • Scully

    In abusive relationships, it is very common for (a) the abuser to blame the victim for the abuse and eventually (b) for the victim to accept the blame for the abuse and (c) start believing they deserve it.

    I don't know how many interviews I have watched of women in relationships where their partner abuses them, when they have said they did something to "deserve" being abused. "I provoked it", "I let myself go", "I'm not as smart as he is", "I'm just a housewife and I have no income", "the house wasn't tidy", "I didn't make dinner properly", etc. When people start to believe that they are responsible for the abuse that they receive, they get mentally locked in to the cycle, and it's very difficult to reason with them. This mentality empowers abusers to continue abusing and controlling.

  • mustang

    JW's have struggled to not be 'part of the world'; they have succeeded in partially creating a 'parallel universe' in that universe where they actually reside. The composition seems to be 1 part real matter and 99 parts mental distortion.

    This time/space monstrosity is known as the 'Spiritual Paradise(tm)'; it is not quite the New World(tm) that they figure on having eventually, but it is the best that they can do.

    Unfortunately, in this 'Spiritual Paradise', Justice has suffered a topological inversion.


  • done4good

    ***If the victimizer is wrong then there might be something wrong with the organization***

    A good friend, (still a jw), told me a long time ago that much of what the org. does is done out expedient need. The above just sums it up nicely.


  • Berean

    "I lurked here for about 6 or 7 months, before I started posting.

    I have read experience after experience in which THE VICTIM of gossip, slander, abuse in the congregation is the one who is made to feel like THEY are the ones who need to apologize, when they are the ones that need the apology from the perpetrators of the injustice.

    One theme that continues to repeat itself in the congregation is this: The victim is always wrong and the victimizer is always right. Why?


    How funny. As I was driving to work this morning, I was pondering this very thing. I was the recipient of SLANDER and was vilified because I brought it to light. Both the CO and DO made me into the bad person due to bring it to their attention that I was slandered and lied about by three other elders. They were the heroes and I was the bad person.

    Reminds me of the scripture about good being bad and bad being good.

  • LisaRose

    It's cognitive dissonance. Elders do not want to believe that another elder or 'spritually strong' person would do something wrong. It's more comfortable for them to believe the victim to have done something wrong as the victim is usually considered the 'spritually weak' one. It's part of maintaining the fiction that everything is perfect in 'God's orgainzation', and that those who are regular in attendance and service would never do anything wrong. Even when the Victim is NOT considered spiritually weak, the fact that they brought up the issue makes them uncomfortable (doesn't jibe with beliefs, things like that don't happen in God's organization), so it's easier to blame the victim than confront the facts. Anyway that's my take on it.

  • Satanus

    Perhaps it's because of one of the root premises on which the wt world is based. That is that might makes right. Their god is the most powerful, and the smartest, therefore, he is always right. This rightness trickles downward into his org, from the top down: gb, do's, co's, elders, pioneers, male publishers, women, and kids, on the bottom. Everything comes from the top down, never from the bottom up. Therefore, those on the bottom are always in a position of dissadvantage.


  • Warlock


    Those are interesting thoughts.

    "The fact that they brought up the issue makes them uncomfortable, so it's eaisier to blame the victim than confront the facts".

    So then, it's "the truth" that is contained in the situation that they refuse to face. How can you have "the truth" if you cannot bear to face "truth"?


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