About half the DF's go back? Really?

by AuldSoul 35 Replies latest jw friends

  • ballistic

    I just wish I had the internet all those years ago when I was trying to get re-instated. I was all alone, confused and without any direction in life, but I didn't know it at the time. God only knows how I came out of it alright. I used to sit at the back of the hall, and as I had moved location, there were other DF people at the back who I didn't know. I got chatting to this old DF lady on the way home, and I told her my story and she just fell silent and shook her head and then all she could say was, "God must love you so much." I stopped going shortly afterwards. I really felt God hated me.

  • press any key
    press any key

    the borg love statistics dont they

    i can just imagine the pie graph being shown in a powerpoint presentation at a gb meeting off all the reasons why people are disfellowshipped, and all the old fogeys sitting there thinking "thats a pretty picture - whats for lunch"

    what doesnt show up in there stats is all the faders and they dont go back very often, thats where they're really hurting



    ps crumpet has a 67% reinstatement rate - above average, not bad for someone whos out for good

  • Dismembered

    Greetings Dear Crumpet,

    :I also went back a few years after disfellowshipping no 2 and was reinstated and dfed on the same night.

    That has to be a first. How on earth did you pull that one off?


  • Lapuce
    It may be true that 50 percent of j-dubs 'return to their vomit' but I think most do so with the intention of fading away while regaining the 'freedom' to see their family and friends again.

    I did that and after I was re-instated I just went to the memorial and poof, I became an instant fader, it was only to keep some friends, and make the wife happy, but I never go to those meetings and field service anymore. I celebrate parties at work, birthdays etc... but without letting the nosy elders know, and the wife doesn't squeel on me

  • Steve Lowry
    Steve Lowry

    I was about 16 or so when I kinda just faded. But when I was about 18 I guess (1973/74), my JW mom started in with the, " Ya know Steve, there's only a little time left . . . ", crap. But it had its effect on me and I went back whole hog. When 1975 came and went a few years later, so did I! I never entertained the idea about going back after that. Fool me once, kinda thing. Anyway, even if I had of ever entertained such thoughts, it would have meant leaving my balls at the Kingdom Hall door! Ya know what? I grown way too accustomed those little guys to give them up!. ;up

  • rebel8

    In my cong there was at least a handful of ppl who had been DFd and reinstated more than twice. I can think of about 4 off the top of my head. They were mostly ppl who "believed" but "couldn't follow the morals" blah blah blah, or at least that's what they claimed each time they boomeranged back--a great reinforcer of the myth that most ppl leave the org because of "morals". A few of them were ppl I always suspected were just coming back to make their families happy & had no intention of following the jw lifestyle.

    So anyways, I wonder how common it is to be reinstated 3-4 times, and if Brown was miscounting those as different people vs. different episodes of reinstatements???

  • Crumpet

    I should put you lot out of your misery and tell you how i pulled it off. I had applied for reinstatement some months earlier and not heard anything but continued to attend meetings and study and live like a hermitess not seeing anyone or speaking to anyone outside of work. Anyway I went to a work meeting out of hours and alcohol was there and I ended up having a cigarette after a couple of shandies.

    When I got home my dad called to say that the elders had decided to reinstate me. Sadly, me being prone to self destructive bouts of honesty I told him I had been smoking and felt so distraught I didnt think I could go back to another year of abject loneliness and that he must of course pass the news back to the elders. I never knew exactly what happened in terms of announcements - it must have been pretty horrid for my parents to sit and listen to the announcement that the holy spirit had so misguided the elders that they had reinstated me at the very moment I was indulging in a disfellowshipping act and that subsequently due to my lack of repentance I was disfellowshipped. I'm guessing what actualy happened was the elders kept that little titbit between themselve sand my dad and never admitted that I was reinstated and disfellowshipped to anyone let alone from the platform.

    So technically - yep I was r-ed and d-ed all in one evening.

  • Check_Your_Premises
    I wonder how we can get that information.

    I have thought alot about JW data. Really there is no way for us to know what Brooklyn knows without someone outing the information, and then it will only be a snapshot, or data up until that moment. It still will provide us with no continuous data on trends.

    I have considered, in my more ambitious moments, of setting up a database of jw's. Basically we would rely on folks here to provide as much information as possible on as many dubs as we can think of. The key would be what information would we like to track.

    Then we would take that data and we could extrapolate to the larger group and get a pretty good idea just what sort of real things take place within the org.

    It is one of those things that sounds real interesting, but I am not sure it would be real popular. Who wants to go to some website and fill out a bunch of paperwork?


  • kid-A

    In my neck of the woods I would say it was at least 85% of the DF'd that were eventually reinstated. Of these, about 75% were DF'd again within a relatively short time and never came back. To paraphrase Seinfeld, leaving the JWs is sometimes like trying to knock over a Coke machine, it never goes over with the first shove! LOL

  • sammielee24
    It may be true that 50 percent of j-dubs 'return to their vomit' but I think most do so with the intention of fading away while regaining the 'freedom' to see their family and friends again.

    I fully agree with that statement. I think the vast majority who go back, do so simply for the communication with family and/or friends and then after reinstatement they can sucessfully fade away. I believe that's why there are so many who do nothing or the bare minimum to scrape by, those are also the ones who are more apt to outright lie or become very creative with their time cards and such. It's much easier to do if you are away from your family because you can put on a show for them when they do come to visit. Just one more reason to scoff at the whole 'keeping the congregation clean' crap. swife.

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