So tired of grief

by Sirona 35 Replies latest jw experiences

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  bythesea

  (((((((((((Sirona))))))))))) Grieving is such an individual thing...there is no right or wrong way to go about it...it just IS. With hospice and bereavement counseling in my background I have learned that one should never look for things to return to "normal" again...when people we love and care about are now gone forever from our lives then life will never again be "normal". You will, however, find a NEW normal to your life eventually...and the labor of grief(labor just as in childbirth!) can take as long as it has to take...People mean different things to us in our lives, therefore our grieving for each individual we lose may be a different type of grief...but the pain in our souls is no less important or real. Having good days, then being brought to your knees suddenly another day is all part of the process. Its awful, but it will get better. As someone so wisely told you, just get into it...go to that painful place when it raises its head...embrace it.

  The best thing to help us heal and to be able to move on is to be able to express our grief...be able to talk about the person to someone, which is why counseling is sometimes called for if we don't have someone in our life who can be there to just listen and allow us to go through the process without getting tired of hearing us! Don't ever apologize for your grief....it is a testimony of your love for the person... If a person doesn't acknowledge their grief and tries to bury it, be strong, be in denial or whatever, it most surely will raise its head somewhere down the road and MAKE you deal with it at a later date, possibly less convenient time! As you said..."Remember me??"

  The many things we can grieve over, the losses we experience in life( through divorce, being DF, moving away, etc) only compound our sense of loss when a physical death of a loved one has occured. I agree with the thought that you should try to find a solution so that you can keep your dog...having to give it up at this point would only add another hole in your heart! And animals can be such a comfort to us...you need that happy face to come home to at the end of your day!!

  My thoughts are with you...and I have a ton of resources I can share on grief...pm me if you want to talk or I can help in any way....hugs.... bythesea
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  anewme

  Sirona, grieving though painful is part of the spiritual journey in life.
  Many of our most beloved spiritual leaders looked upon the sadness in the world and were terribly grieved by it. But they went beyond the grief and found something else.
  
  Life has been likened to a journey. A one way journey. Along the way we meet people, and love them and walk a while with them. But we keep going all the time forward into the future experiencing new adventures and meeting new people and learning all the time more and more about this life.
  
  It is very difficult to hang on to things and people and even places change over time. In fact it is impossible to hang on to them. Sadly, we must treasure with all our heart the ones we love and celebrate with them while they and we are alive.
  
  I think you are an exceptionally loving and sensitive woman Sirona and feel the sorrow and loss on the earth very strongly. The miscarriages you had are your beloved children. You will always love them. The many loves in your life are still with you in your beautiful loving mind.
  
  We need to stay present to all the many happinesses around us and all the contributions that loving people make to our life and say "I LOVE YOU" to the ones we love as often as we think to.
  
  The great spiritual leaders who saw the sadness and futility of mankind also recognized the need to bring comfort and compassion to others. This can be your daily direction too.
  
  Warm wishes to you Sirona for a calmer heart tomorrow,
  
  Anewme
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  LovesDubs

  Baby girl, with all you have going on in your sweet head no wonder your heart is fluttering! You are probably having anxiety attacks. So many emotions, so many things to deal with all at the same time. Such sadness and still trying to be there for others when you arent getting anything back to recharge and renew your own soul!

  Its not a bad thing to go get some help sweetie. Get some medication that can help you cope, sleep.

  Say no once in awhile..we women tend to be Fixemup Chappies and obliged to always say YES to everybody. You really really dont have to be there for everybody else.

  And you know what? They will be FINE. And you will get a chance to heal. You can only take that brick wall down one brick at a time.

  hugs, Loves
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  Sirona

  I realised I hadn't responded to this thread! sorry .....

  I did some relaxation excersizes which did get rid of the wierd fluttering. I was just finding things really really stressful.

  Thanks for everyone's replies.

  Sirona
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  codeblue

  (((Sirona)))

  I feel for you

  I have had a lot of losses in my life from a very early age.

  Grieving is very personal......I agree with Blondie....the fact it is persisting might mean a trip to your family doctor.

  Then I read about your sweet dog you raised from a puppy and are thinking you can't take care of it and it is ripping you apart.

  I was in that situation because someone suggested I sell MY dog with a huge move recently. In the last year I had worked away from home with my spouse and my poor little dog had to be watched a lot. This person reasoned it wasn't fair to the DOG to live like that

  As soon as I sold my dog, I felt like I had given up my child. It has been almost 4 months and I ache about that decision. I am grieving deeply. (sounds stupid but that puppy was my anchor when my husband worked a lot away from home)

  I like the idea someone gave you......keep your dog and ask for a responsible person in your neighborhood...like a 12 year old to help out.

  take care...

  Codeblue
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  bem

  Balsam Anewme Bythesea Codeblue Lovesdubs WOW Great words I appreciated the posts you all made thank you

  Sirona I was going to say a while after those fluttering feelings started in my stomach I found out I had ulcers, I'm not diagnosing just saying, so I'm glad the relaxation helped, you're going through a lot right now, so remember to take care of the inside bits of you, We really can get broken hearts from too much strain ,stress and worry. Take care of you dear one.

  ~ Dorothy