Recently Studied With JW's--need help breaking up

by Silvia Plath 37 Replies latest jw experiences

  • bigmouth

    Hi Silvia and welcome. You must have done some reading here for a while from the sounds of it.
    I think Honesty got some clear and simple facts and stuck with it and it worked.
    In my experience though, no amount of clear reasoning (and the sheer effort involved!), is likely to ever change a Dubs mind. The 'apostate' warning bells go off and everything shuts down.
    I think the wording in your post might be sufficient for Carol to get the message.
    Perhaps things just might work out well between you both though. You wont be shunned because of being baptized and she can 'return visit' on you whenever she wants to chat and clear her head with no proselytizing pressure and you just may be able to save her ;)

  • fullofdoubtnow

    Hi Silvia, and welcome to the board.

    I agree with what several other posters, just tell Carol what you told us, thank her for helping you in the way she has, but jwism is just not for you.

  • Stealth453

    I agree. If the GB was really thinking, they would hold their own AA meetings in the KH.

  • Dansk

    Welcome, Silvia! The best way to get round your situation is to be completely honest with Carol; to tell her that you no longer wish to carry on your study because, as you say, you wish to serve God and not a man-made organisation. A word of warning, though. If Carol is as zealous as I think she is, problems aside, she is unlikely to give up on you so be prepared for her still trying to convert you. There is enough evidence contained in the files on this forum for you to quickly gather evidence against Watchtower if you so wish, only don't tell Carol where you got it from or she'll give you a sermon on the dangers of mixing with "apostates". At the end of the day, be prepared for your friendship with Carol to cool. Once she realises you definitely want nothing to do with the Watchtower she'll concentrate her efforts elsewhere. Best wishes to you, Ian

  • tijkmo
    She was baker acted during this time

    scuse my ignorance but what does this mean

  • Legolas

    Welcome to the board!

  • greendawn

    "instead of slaving for a secretive corrupt billion dollar organization, which pretends to be the prophet and instrument of God."

    Welcome, I think you got the gist of the matter seeing what you wrote above. You are lucky in that you realised what sort of game is being played before progressing to get baptised.

    Carol, most likely unwittingly, was brainwashing you to become a WTS slave and sooner or later you will have to put an end to that. At least her studying with you saved her from going door to door for quite a few hours each month while also completing her monthly quota of preaching hours, unless she is a pioneer.

  • Balsam

    Welcome Silvia and all you new folks posting. Serving God is not the same as serving an organization. It is a bate and switch sort of plan. Get you hooked on knowing God, then show you that you can only know God through their religious organization. Typical of fundamentalist type religions. It's good you hadn't lost your sense of reason right off. Your friend Carol sounds very troubled and it must relate to her relationship with her Mother since that is when the trouble began with her visiting and caring for her.

    Good for you, just tell her what you have told us.


  • Cellist

    Welcome to the board, Sylvia. And, congratulations on seeing what is important in your life.


  • LovesDubs

    If Carol was Baker Acted (which if I recall means she was hospitalized by civil authority and against her will to get treatment for her addiction or for trying to or threatening to, commit suicide) she has some deep problems already. If she is a JW then why is she so unhappy? Why isnt her religion helping her? Why would she want to drag you into a religion and situation that obviously isnt working for HER on many levels?

    In the eyes of the JWs if you are depressed, its your own fault. If you are a drunk its because you are weak, you dont pray enough, you dont go out in service enough and you arent spiritual enough and Jehovah has left you. If you tell anyone you are depressed you are bringing THEM down TOO and so you cant talk to anyone about your true feelings. Its a horrible place to be. And so...they drink, they suppress their true feelings and it eventually eats them up. But the Elders discard them to keep them from "influencing" others.

    Carol probably was counting on your STUDY time to turn in her monthly report to the JWs. The Elders were probably telling her that she has to dump YOU because you "arent progressing towards baptizm." If she is studying wih you three times a week thats WAY over what she should be spending with you. Im sure if she had privledges removed that the entire congregation already knows she has a drinking problem and JWs are NOT supportive of each other at all. (despite the fact that they call each other "friends") They will probably be "marking" her which means they dont associate with her much even within the confines of the hall because she is flawed. And frankly its too much trouble for them to bother. Theyd rather gossip about her than lend her a hand.

    You are probably one of the few friends she has left who isnt judging her. And if you tell her you value you your friendship but that you have decided NOT to pursue study of ANYTHING BUT THE BIBLE ALONE it will test the waters to see if she is a FRIEND of yours or just BEFRIENDING YOU for the sake of continuing your JW study and keeping the TIME she reports from it. We were taught that if a study doesnt progress that that person has decided that they arent going to be JWs and therefore become, like the rest of the evil world, BAD ASSOCIATION and we werent to hang out with them any more. study....put aside whatever JW literature she has you reading from...yank out your King James and say..THIS is the only thing I want to study from, are you game for that? This IS a BIBLE STUDY isnt it? Jesus followers never needed "study guides" to understand the scriptures did they?

    Let us know how it goes ok? Welcome to the board!

Share this