Recently Studied With JW's--need help breaking up

by Silvia Plath 37 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Sadie Masokissdick

  Dear Silvia:

  I see that you have named yourself after an American poet named Sylvia Plath, the former wife of Ted Hughes. A troubled and disturbed woman, she comitted suicide in London, in February 1963. Her tormented psyche is evident in much of what she wrote. I find her writings very depressing. Another thing about her that bothers me is her anti-Semitism, which is also obvious in her "Unabridged Journals." I'm curious about what it is that interests you in her writings - is it "The Bell Jar"? "Colossus"?

  In regard to the situation that you find yourself in regard to your friend, I would suggest that you sit down with her and have a sincere and honest "tete-a-tete" with her. You are obviously a sensitive and articulate person, so you should have no problem in expressing your present attitutde toward the Watchtower organization. For the moment, I would suggest focusing more on what you feel and think. Later, you can worry about getting your friend to see the real truth in regard to Watchtower doctrine.
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  Silvia Plath

  Thank you everyone for your support, I will be making the phone call tommorow. Hearing about your experiences has made me less afraid to be human. Lately I felt guilty that I did not want to give up my buddha statues that I collect, and I was told as an artist I would have to change the things I like to paint, or stop doing poetry readings in coffee houses, or give up my punk band. If Ja made me who I am, then he would appreciate my gifts and want me to use them.

  I will try to maintain my friendship with Carl, for she is a creative talented grpahic designer and we have alot in common.

  Also I had no idea they legislate what you do in the bedroom. I still think the bible is inspired and believe in a God of Love, but I don't believe the watchtower owns the "truth" anymore
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  Quandry

  Welcome to the forum. You are in a unique situation here. You can still communicate with your friend and say what you wish because you are not baptised so cannot be shunned.

  By all means, share with her some of your concerns. Perhaps she does not know about the U.N. scandal or flip-flopping doctrine over the years.

  Several years ago, a person at the door told me that J.W.s had changed things in their books over the years. I vehemently defended the Witnesses. A while later, I was on a study with the Live Forever Book (no longer used for Bible studies), and lo and behold my book said the exact opposite from the witness next to me on the subject of the resurrection of the people of Sodom and Gomorrah. What a shock. They had completly done a 180 degree change and I didn't even know it. I had the old edition book. These things and others affected me deeply. Perhaps you can help your friend with your knowledge.

  Please be patient with her. These things will be hard to hear and harder to mentally accept. Hope you can remain friends with her. Seems as if she needed a friend when she was down and started drinking but instead probably got a good scolding and priveledges removed. Sounds like she still needs a friend who will listen without telling her what a dissapointment she is.
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  bigmouth

  Sorry to hi-jack the thread momentarily but:
  ', I was on a study with the Live Forever Book (no longer used for Bible studies), and lo and behold my book said the exact opposite from the witness next to me on the subject of the resurrection of the people of Sodom and Gomorrah.'
  
  Quandary, this happened while I was the reader at a book study and I've never been able to find the two different editions since. The BS conducter made me read the sentence 3 times before saying "Does your book REALLY say that?" There was much scratching of heads and exhortations to 'wait on Jehovah'. Can anyone post a scan of this please?
  Cheers Pete.
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  shar212

  Lovesdubs, YOU hit it right on the nail!
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  shar212

  Bigmouth, I read that too, it's sad. Sorry, I don't have a posting.
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  wednesday

  
  Syliva

  I so like your attitude, you seem to be a gited bright person who cares for others. I felt so sad for Carol since her mom just died and they treated her so rough .

  The problem here is if you let on in any way you read anything about the org. on the internt or books,etc, she will go into "apostate mode" and run. It is doubtful you will get a chance to say another word to her, and you may be all that is keeping this lady going for now. Of course you must put your life first, so I'd handle it just like you said, don't bring up any APOSTATE BUSS WORDS llike UN, child molestation , or stuff like that. just be your wonderful self, and bring out that king james bible and ask for that bible study. She is going to probably interogate you to try and discern why you have changed. So be prepared. she may question what you are reading, seeing on tv, looking at on the internet. JWS are so afraid of apostaes well here's an example:

  I talked to a sis who calls me from time to time- she is calling me and probably counting time. anyway, b/c I mentioned the news, and she gasped-she was so afraid i was going to bring up the bethel child molester. is that paranoid or not? i could tell , her voice changed.

  So she is going to run back to the elders and tell them the apostates have gotten her study. If she does, she won't be back to see you. I can recall being out in service at times years ago, and someone would point to a house on the street and say' that used to be sis so/so study. the apostates got to her"

  But if she just feels that you have long held sincere beliefs, that you were taught from childhood, then she may be more forgiving. she may cancel the study, or reduce the time spent,or agree to your terms, any of the above. But if she feels you are sincere and not an apostate, she might come back to checkon you and then you can see how she is doiing. also, she may need help one day, and it may be she will come to you.

  only you know how important this relationship is, and if it is worth t a bit of subterfuge to keep it.

  bless you

  best to you. sounds like you have a wonderful life ahead of you

  weds

  and it sounds like she really could use a friend. ]

  I think talking about what they did to her after her motherr died is perfect- how is that love?
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  nelly136

  its a shame that at a time when she was probably screaming out for help they added more guilt shame punishment and pressure on her, i hope she can see youre a friend outside the tight confines, you sound pretty cool.
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  PaulMarshall

  Hi.

  I grew up in the truth and left the organisation in my early 20's The thing to remember is this:

  You are not rejecting your new found friend. You are rejecting what does not feel right for you. The positive of the studies having read your posting, is that it they have taken you to a place where you are thinking about your spiriuality, and that a good thing. Leaving your studies is like getting out of a bad relationship. The other person will rarely see your point of view . This is about you and your needs. Be honest with her. explain you have moved to a place where you want the space to make sense of your own thoughts and feelings. You'll be fine promise. If worst come to worst you can instruct the local kingdom hall to have you marked as a do not call. and they simply wont.

  Hugs.

  Paul xx
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  freetosee

  Welcome Paul