Finally out of Hiding

by Shador 38 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Shador
    My advice is to start getting ready to live outside your parent's house, and fast. ; Situations like this often go downhill after a person has made ;their feelings known about the org--at least that's what happened to a lot of us. ; Read the last few threads about Richie Rich's exit--lots of advice on getting your finances in order. ; Sock away some cash in the bank & get ready to move at a moment's notice.

    Have you considered getting certified in medical transcription? ; If you've got that, you would be more competitive when applying for transcription jobs in facilities or doctors' offices. ; If you can get certified in coding on top of that, all the better.

    Yea, I do wanna save up a little more. Working for this sister, I am pulling down $1500 to $2K a month. I have $600 in savings right now, but I would like to boost it to at least $1K before I leave.

    By far the hardest part for me is the emotional attachment to my mother. I can't find myself being angry with her, because I know she is just decieved. As an aside, I think I mentioned earlier that I am the major breadwinner in the house. I doubt they could pay their bill w/o me, so I almost feel like leaving would be abandoning my mother to destitution. Even my stepdad is a nice guy, when he's not spouting JW doctrine. In fact all those who spoke with me are, I believe, decieved to some extent. It hurts because I like these people and they are nice people. They are also genuinely convinced that leaving is the worst decision I can make and think they are helping me. So I know that the hurt I see in their eyes is genuine and it tears me up inside. *sigh* If only my folks were away for some couple of days so I could just slip out quietly and not have to face their reactions in person.

    As far as getting certified, I doubt I could do that from home, especially with my PC being taken away. I would have to wait till after I left. (All the more reason to hoard back some cash, eh.?)

  • AuldSoul


    You have a PM coming.

    The GB/FDS has whole teams of researchers looking into things when they print them... that they can better obscure truth and twist history to fit the mold of preset doctrine.

    Hang in there.


  • QueenBee

    Shador, I just want you to know, for what it's worth, you have my sympathy and you are in my thoughts. The GUILT (hurting my parents, losing my "friends") is the one thing that nearly broke me. All I can say is do your research and do what's best for YOU. Peace, Bee

  • Jim_TX

    I'll just chime in here with a 'yeah, what they said' - regarding getting your finances in order.

    Also - learn from my mistake. IF you have any sort of banking/savings account that has one (or both) of your parents on it as a co-signee - close out that account pronto, and open another one - with just YOUR name on the account.

    My mom closed out my account in an attempt to neuter me when I was a lad of 21, still living at home - and she wanted more 'control' over me.


    Jim TX

  • BizzyBee


    Get your ducks in row - at 25 you need to be out from under your parents roof, JW or no JW. They took away your computer? If you were 16, I couldn't argue with any of this, but at 25 it is time to 'break like the wind.'

    The single most persuasive issue on your side is not trees or chromosomes or even love. IS THE WTS GOD'S EARTHLY ORGANIZATION, IF GOD FELT HE NEEDED AN ORGANIZATION TO SPEAK FOR HIM? That premise can be unravelled pretty quickly - have they ever, ever predicted anything at all that came true? Do they really have any new light about anything? Why would God choose an organization that fails to deliver and changes significant pieces of their platform? Why is their history a closed book, nearly forbidden from scrutiny?

    Good luck to you, lad. Head for Grandma's.


  • AlanF

    Shador, I really feel for you. You might want to learn something from my own experience, when I was about your age and made some mistakes with regard to the JWs that I now sorely regret.

    I was raised a JW, and most people in my extended family were JWs from back in the 1920s. When I was about 21 back in 1972, it dawned on me that something was rotten in Brooklyn, and I almost left. But I still lived with my parents, and they cajoled and threatened to kick me out until I gave in. I went back to square one, and "studied" again a couple of the basic "study" books from the late 1960s with a young brother a few years older than me. During the study, I really began to think hard about some of the doctrines, and realized that some of them were nonsense. But because I had no job skills whatsoever, and could only see myself living in extremely unpleasant circumstances if I were on my own, I bit the bullet, yielded to the pressure, got back actively in congregation activities, and went on with normal JW life. I now realize that this was the biggest mistake I ever made.

    When 1975 passed without Armageddon coming, I gradually got uneasy, and could not keep from imagining what my life would be like in another 20-30 years when Armageddon still hadn't come. By that time I was married and really starting to think about future in terms of supporting kids and so forth. In 1978 I went to college, found out that the Society is an extremely dishonest organization, and became inactive. Except for a short stint after graduating, I never was an active JW again.

    When I think back to the wasted years, it really pisses me off. I wish I had been brave enough to leave home at 21, and take whatever came along. It would have been good for me in the long run, I'm convinced.

    Today, out of the JWs for nearly 30 years, I have a good job and am respected in my field. You're obviously bright enough, and already have enough good job skills, that you'll do just fine when you end up on your own.

    Don't make the mistake I did, and cave in. You'll sorely regret it in the long run because, knowing what you know, you won't be able to live with the constant barrage of bullshit the JWs will shove your way. Until the early 1990s I still attended the occasional meeting or assembly because of my JW wife (we divorced in 1994), but found it almost impossible to refrain from jumping up and shouting, "What the hell is wrong with you people? Can't you see the bullshit they're shoving down your throats?" I finally got to the point where I was physically ill by the end of a Sunday meeting, and then I quit going altogether.

    As for ammunition to use to show your parents how ridiculous the JW religion is, several posters have correctly pointed out that the Fundamental Doctrine of Jehovah's Witnesses amounts to worship of the Governing Body. These codgers have truly put themselves in the place of God in the minds of most JWs. This is easily proved: tell a typical JW that you've lost faith in God and they'll be a little bothered, but them him that you've lost faith in the GB and they'll be a lot bothered, and call you an apostate.

    A related claim is that elders -- and GB members in particular -- are appointed by holy spirit. The falsity of this claim is easily demonstrated: God would not appoint a child molester to the position of elder, much less a GB member. However, former GB member Leo Greenlees was a homosexual and molester of boys for decades. But he was invited to become a Brooklyn Bethel official around 1964, and was appointed a GB member around 1971, and booted off the GB in 1984 after the parents of a 10-year-old boy brought charges against him of molesting their son. The rest of the GB found Greenlees repentant, and sent him off as a Special Pioneer. Greenlees died around 1989, a respected member of a New Orleans congregation. This is absolute proof that the JW Governing Body has nothing to do with God. Anyone who doubts that what I've said is true can simply call the Watchtower Society's main phone number in Brooklyn, and ask to speak to someone in authority about what happened with Leo Greenlees. Assuming the operator forwards the call to someone in authority, the caller will simply be told that the Society does not discuss the situation. Here is the key point: the WT spokesman will not deny what happened with Greenlees, because the Society does not want to be caught on tape lying about it.

    Another impossible point for JWs to counter is to use Luke 21:8 against them. This passage essentially states that anyone who comes in Jesus' name and claims that "the kingdom is at hand" should be avoided. JW leaders certainly come in Jesus' and Jehovah's names, claiming to be their spokesmen. They certainly today, and have often claimed that "the kingdom is at hand". Publication titles include God's Kingdom of a Thousand Years Has Approached (1973), The Approaching Peace of a Thousand Years (1969), The Kingdom Is At Hand (1944) and The Time Is At Hand (1891). Because JW leaders fufill both parts of Jesus' warning in Luke 21:8, they should not be followed by true Christians.

    If you use this argument, likely you'll get a response something like, "Luke 21:8 can't apply to us because we're God's people!" I got this when challenging GB member Albert Schroeder 12 years ago, and other critics have gotten the same "answer". But this is entirely self-serving and ignores the fact that the passage does not allow for exceptions.

    You can get all sorts of good information from this website and others. Continue to use your brain and accumulate information. Do whatever you need to get out from under your parents' thumb, or you'll regret it. That they've taken away your own property (your PC) when you're their very means of financial support speaks volumes about how they view you -- not as a competent, reasoning adult, but as a child needing to be controlled. You don't need this, and you don't have to live with it.

    For a lot more information about JW dishonesty, visit this website: . Take advantage of what many posters tell you. Begin to live life!


  • rebel8

    Getting certified usually involves paying a fee and showing up on a Saturday somewhere to take an exam.

    It would probably cost a few hundred bucks to apply, but once you get them to mail you the application, you really don't need a computer.

  • Cordelia

    i really feel for you, but im also dead impressed you have told you're family things it has took me over a year to do. and believe me it is crueler in the long run to decieve them it is great that you have been honest,

    I'd just say do what i really want to do now and research everything dont take anyones word without checking the proof, i really want to look into things to keep the strength to stay away from the 'truth'

    But from my own experience i'd say dont get dfed if you dont have to or if you do then stay living at home coz you're parents will feel better and be able to talk to you alot more, its horriable feeling like you have given them no choice, when they are so blinded by the society, but you do have to be true to yourself thats 0ne thing i have learned.

  • sass_my_frass

    Aaaaw bub, it's going to be tough but you'll pull through, just take it day by day. In a while you'll be amazed at the strength you've found. But isn't it a relief to know that it's not you, it's them?!

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