"Slogging" - the top speed at which JWs go door to door

by LovesDubs 37 Replies latest jw friends

  • LovesDubs

    I know this topic has been beat to death probably in here...but I was watching some of the "friends" going down my street the other day (and they categorically skip my house because Satan and I are tight you know) and it reminded me so much of how much I HATED going door to door and how I PRAYED when it was my turn to knock that nobody was home. And we walked down those streets with our little territory cards in hand, making anywhere from meticulous to rediculous notes about the house we were just at...and moving our feet as slowly as we possibly could to maintain a forward motion at all, to eat up the TIME we were forced to (yes I said FORCED TO) report every month. Field service was what you called the time you spent between when you were at McDonalds and Dunkin Donuts. And how many of you when you were out in field service got a really good parking space at McDonalds and said that Jehovah reserved it for you because you were out doing his WORK? Comon..you know you did.

    It is against human nature, no matter how badly you believe in this stuff, to go and essentially interrupt, interfere and disrupt the lives of other people by banging on their private doors and then trying to convince them not only that God has given them a message through his son Jesus of their forgiveness and salvation, which should be good news (and if in this country they have been living in a cave and never saw a church in their lives) ....but then to convince them if they already WERE Christians that not only were they not the RIGHT kind of Christians but that God not only didnt acknowledge their prayers at all, but categorically placed them with Satan because they werent baptized JWs. I mean, is it me or do you have to be crazy to go try to sell that particular brand of vacuum door to door?? And you walk away from their rejection, harrumphing at their Bathtub Mary in the lawn, smirking that they were goats and what do goats know anyway, and when they died at armageddon you were going to convert their big-ars house to condos for you and your friends.

    Yes I did put in my hours regularly til the end...I even auxilliary pioneered...I even did that thing where you semi permanently auxilliary pioneered for like 4 months in a row. I hung out with 7 full time pioneers (aka the seven dwarfs) who had nothing good to say about each other, accused each other of cheating on hours and stealing each others studies and not showing up for field service regularly (referred to as Ninja Pioneers)...I never quite met a more miserable group of women in my life. And they were lead in prayer in field service in the summer by a skinny butt, pimple faced teenaged boy with braces who looked like sunlight rarely touched his skin, and when they didnt have anything else to put on their heads in subservience to him, the Dwarfs used diapers or kleenex.

    I really cannot understand why bible studies are down. It's such a life altering experience. Im thinking people died waiting for them to GET there.

  • under_believer

    Excellent snapshot of Witness life. I identify with everything you said.

  • hemp lover
    hemp lover

    LOL - that was beautiful.

  • restrangled

    You brought back some agonizing memories! I identified with every word. It was always a relief to work in the farm areas, we sure could make a car slog in between those acres!


  • eyeslice

    I can remember knocking on doors where you know no one is in and still spending 10 minutes talking to me "partner" waiting for the door not to be opened.

  • LovesDubs

    Eyeslice - yup...and there was also the added benefit of going out with a carload to do "return visits" with the one person you know who had a call book CHOCKED full of potential returns to spend time on, and sitting IN THE CAR counting your time while THEY went and did their return visits, each of you taking one turn going to the door with THEM. Phew...that will make ya break a sweat. :)

  • james_woods

    And let us not forget the "return visit shuffle". If you carefully plan your RV list for minimum efficiency (i.e. - the addresses are as far apart as possible) - you can burn 15 minutes or more between calls. Even better; cook up rural return visits using the non-proximity principle.

    After all, gas was cheap when I was a pioneer.

  • fullofdoubtnow

    Excellent post LD, it brings back a few memories, some pleasant, many not so pleasant. Thankyou.

  • restrangled

    One more time killer was to stop at a JW's house on the street you were working and ask if someone in the group could use their bathroom.

  • carla

    hmmph, and my jw gets disgruntled when I tell him about the jw shuffle or how to 'ring' the screw in a doorbell! Claims none of it's true! I dunno, guess you guys were just not privileged to belong to his cong! They all love door to door work!

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