Why are EX-JW's and JW's in doubt(faders) so ''afraid" of the elders?

by booker-t 34 Replies latest jw experiences

  • A Paduan
    A Paduan
    I have a healthy respect of their ability to stir up trouble.

    Yeh, it's not that they have authority - it's simply a realistic reduction in stress and loss aversion for many people - many people's experience is that they are vindictive - ill-willed - kinda like when a snake is in your vicinity - it's not that you respect an authority, you just want to know where it is and what it's doing, and not give cause for alarm - because they can be trouble - and it's a pain in the a$$ to do something to them, because then the authorities will say, "Why did you harm the snake ? it wasn't doing anything! ". It's just how it is - a vexing thing. Some people just continue to act nice so they'll go away without any fuss.

    paduan (of the sinewy, whippy, slightly curved, strong and longish, thick stick bearing but keeps it to himself class)

  • foundfreedom

    I am not afraid but dont like having anything to do with them. I just found out that a elder that sat in on several elders meetings that I had with them a year and a half ago dealing with my divorce and child abuse that I suffered through with an uncle of mine which the elders here look up (they confronted him and he fessed up to it right in front of me but they said that it was too long ago and it happened before he was baptised, but they tell me with him sitting there that he could never serve as an elder again, sad thing though is that my dad who acted so upset because it was his brother can not go out and do things with him and act like nothing ever happened!!) too was moving in next door to a house that I own and am getting ready to sell!!

    I about went balistic!! because my husband (divorced him and then turned around and remarried him ) was trying to talk me into staying and living in this house. I told him no way was I going to live next door to this elder ever!! you see I did some things when my husband and I were not together that would get me disfellowshiped for and my dad found these things out and as he says he went to the elders esp. this one and told him all about it. His duty he said because if he didnt then he was just as guilty as me then!! I was so mad that he did this to me and he did this to me before ever comming to me first and talking with me about it, it really hurt my dad and my relationship. This elder hasnt confronted me about this matter but I know its in the back of his mind!!

    I decided a year ago never to set foot in a KH again, only listed to the memorial over my mother-in-laws speaker phone because she listens to the meetings in here home out of respect for her. I dont listen to the meetings with her and I, my husband or 2 kids have anything to do with the meetings anymore. Its like a breath of fresh air not to have to go to anymore meetings or out in that god awful field service!! Sad though I have to dig out a dress, I have to go to a funeral on Friday because a good work friends son was killed in a head on collision with a semi truck a few nights ago. And guess what! its going to be in a church and I am going and dont care what anyone thinks!! feels good to be free from the guilt that the WTS put us through all of our lives!!


  • mkr32208

    Luckily for me I've always been an arrogant sob so have no problems!

  • Leolaia

    *** w94 8/1 p. 16 par. 5 Cultivate Reasonableness ***

    When elders act as judges in the congregation, they endeavor to follow Jesus’ reasonable example. They do not want the sheep to fear them as punishers.

    *** w67 10/1 p. 592 Following Faithful Shepherds with Life in View ***

    Therefore, in submitting to Jehovah’s visible theocratic organization, we must be in full and complete agreement with every feature of its apostolic procedure and requirements. Do not fear that you might lose your identity or freedom by submission. Members of the first-century Christian congregation willingly submitted themselves to the direction of the organization through its governing body.

  • A Paduan
    A Paduan
    Do not fear that you might lose your identity or freedom by submission.

    ? your soul

  • nelly136

    theyre just publishing company drones, i can't take them seriously anymore let alone be afraid of them.

  • drew sagan
    drew sagan

    I'm not affraid of the Elders, but I am cautious because I know what they can do. They have the power to break up your family. That is why you must get ahead of them, make things right with your loved ones before they can ever get between you. The have a level of power over those who believe the WTS, I think that's what most fear.

  • garybuss

    I found out if I have something I don't want to lose and I live in fear of losing it, I can get rid of the fear forever by just getting rid of "it". I almost always call on a threat. I'd much rather deal with the reality than the fear. The reality lends itself to action, the fear is a concept and it's just my mind trying to imagine the future. Reality doesn't work on fear.

    #1. Elders are the most gutless people on the planet. That's why they're elders. I've had elders lie to my face and I've had elders actually run away from me.

    #2. The only power elders have is that power WE give them. I choose not to give them any. Elders are good at sneaking around and manipulating and scheming and trying to hurt people on purpose.

    I say take your best shot and then I'll make a life out of what's left. (You might want to expect me to shoot back.) I don't want people in my life who would shun and snub me because some elder told them to. The elders do me a favor by identifying those people and getting them out of my life. It was my bad luck being born to Witness parents and raised as a Witness but I'm not gonna let than run my whole life.

  • Finally-Free

    Gary, spot on as usual.


  • nikitaeve

    I respect why you feel so afraid but why go to the memorial and pretend to be something you're not. If you dont want to be a witness then fine, thats your decision but I dont quite understand why some still go to the memorial and to be honest I dont understand all this hostility and hate towards people that were once friends and why go there just to antagonise them? If you've left then thats your right to do so but dont spit venom on the people who have the right to still worship in their own way. I dont go along to my local church and sit there displaying a 'Im not allowed blood sticker'. When I first came onto this site, I was told its a site for ex JWs and all kinds of people like atheists and born again christians yet my views were criticised. So an atheist can express his views but not a christian? I dont agree with everything the JWs have done and I know that they're not all perfect and I probably wont go back but I feel really uncomfortable with some of the views that are expressed on here against JWs from ex JWs. Do you honestly believe that God is looking down on you and enjoying your blatant hostility even if you do think the JWs are wrong. Maybe I was naive in thinking that this kind of apostasy didnt exist. Jesus was right when he said what he said in Matthew 24,v9, 10.

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