Why are EX-JW's and JW's in doubt(faders) so ''afraid" of the elders?

by booker-t 34 Replies latest jw experiences

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  desertlily

  Good Afternoon Everybody:

  Just a thought to share along with a link that may answer some questions as to why these things are happening to Jah and Jesus' precious sheep at the hands of wolves in elders clothing.

  Matthew 10:26-28 (The Message)

  26-27 "Don't be intimidated. Eventually everything is going to be out in the open, and everyone will know how things really are. So don't hesitate to go public now. 28 "Don't be bluffed into silence by the threats of bullies. There's nothing they can do to your soul, your core being. Save your fear for God, who holds your entire life—body and soul—in his hands.

  http://e-jehovahs-witnesses.com/index.php
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  restrangled

  The Elders have great power to destroy lives and families, especially if they decide an individual is guilty, unrepentant, etc. They also may have it in for someone and are determined to rid a congregation of a person's contaminating factor as they see it.

  The havoc that can be created is astounding. People who have extended families in the WT, teenagers, or even if it is just a spouse involved can have their lives destroyed.

  They can reach out and extend that long arm to those long gone. It seems there is a program at present to accomplish this.
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  Finally-Free

  I'm not "afraid" of any elders. There was a time when just the word "elder" was enough to send my blood pressure through the roof. I hated them so much because of the way they abused their authority. I eventually came to realize that is a consequence of giving authority to men who, for the most part, would never receive authority of any kind in the real world. Their lack of education and their unidimensional thinking makes them inadequate for positions of authority anywhere except within the Watchtower hierarchy. Outside of the Kingdom Hall their insignificance is their defining characteristic. They should be pitied, not feared.

  W
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  daystar

  restrangled

  The Elders have great power to destroy lives and families, especially...

  Yes, but understand that the power that they have must be given to them by the very people they hold that power over. They count on those familial, etc. connections to prevent one from undermining their authority. Once one decides to no longer allow them that power, it dissipates to the four winds and they become like very small, inconsequential men.
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  FreeFromWTBS

  PTSD from exposure to a high control group. It is like a dog or a child that is abused. Anytime someone moves thier hand quickly they freak even if removed from the abusive situation.
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  undercover

  I have been out for years now but I still tremble alittle when I run into an elder at the store or run into an elder on the street and my post question certainly applies to me as well but why do I still have fear of JW's elders?

  We're all at different places in our recovery and some move quicker than others at getting over the angry, bitterness or fear.

  At first, I had that fear of elders, but as time has gone by (and I'm a fader, not DAd) I've realized that they have absolutely no power over me whatsoever so what is there to fear? There are a couple of elders that I dislike and am not all the friendly with when, on rare occassion, I see them, but for the majority of them, I can treat them the same as if I ran into an old co-worker or business contact.

  I got over the fear quicker than I did the anger however. It was hard to get past the anger, and every now and then something will happen to get me going again, but for the most part, I've let it go. I've got too much to do for myself than to worry about what they think or say. Again, it boils down to them not having power or authority over me. When I keep that in mind I can laugh at them instead of getting mad at them.
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  TheListener

  First things first. I think the term fader in the title of this thread is being incorrectly used. A fader is someone who is fading - that is gradually leaving the organization. Most faders do this to maintain family contact and achieve freedom. This is hard work and requires patience, long suffering and a plan plan plan. These ones have a tough road to go and deserve as much credit as those who go out with a thunderous bang.

  Someone with doubts but still attends isn't a fader. They are someone who doubts. Simply put they aren't sure what to do or how to do it. Coming here and reading our stories will help them make their decision - each in their own way and time.

  As far as having fear of elders; those who have faded successfully always have some residual fear of losing the tenuous connections they maintain with their family. Will the elders notice this? Will the elders take an interest in me today? tomorrow? Never? Most faders I know don't fear the elders for themselves but for the effect the elders have on family ties. Those who have faded and have family still in are dependent on the elders. Why? Because the believing family members give control over the family ties to the elders.

  imho
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  Synergy

  I don't fear them any longer. I wondered if I still did and had to prove it to myself. That's why I went to the memorial, wore my "I gave blood" sticker, a cross necklace, spoke to everyone although they tried to stop me, and partook of them emblems after I made the sign of the cross in front of myself. May have been childish but I wanted to do something "on their turf" and not in their rules so they know they can't control me anymore. So now I feel the need never to go back and really don't ever think about "the elders".
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  No Apologies

  The Elders have great power to destroy lives and families, especially if they decide an individual is guilty, unrepentant, etc.

  I agree with Daystar, the only power they have is the power we give them. Once you realize the Emporer has no clothes, the power is gone.

  They are pathetic little men who will run and hide the first time their authority is openly challenged.

  No Apologies
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  parakeet

  I faded almost 30 years ago and soon moved away from the area, so running into former JW acquaintances is not much of a problem, although when I do occasionally see one, I find it uncomfortable because of their oily friendliness (at least those who will talk to me).
  I still try to keep a low profile, however, because my JW parents are elderly and in failing health, and they need me to help them. If I were somehow to be DFed now (don't know if that's even possible), it might affect my parents' and my relationship. I don't fear the JWs, but I have a healthy respect of their ability to stir up trouble.