feel kinda sick and shaky

by Merry Magdalene 49 Replies latest jw friends

  • Merry Magdalene
    Merry Magdalene

    Just found out my mom's cancer is worse than she thought...widespread--colon, lungs, bone...so she said I can come down and see her if I want to (7 hours away), and my help would be appreciated if I could manage it. Of course I can manage it. She's my mom.

    But I'm DFed, and she's a JW, living with her JW neice's family. They'll let me and my 5-year old daughter stay in their camper. Aaaagh....So much time wasted, so many years of distance, seperated by a stinking religion...but at least I am being allowed to say goodbye...isn't that nice? If anyone (other than my mother) witnesses to me while I'm down there I may lose it and strangle them...but probably not. I'll just choke it back and deal later.

    I didn't have anyone else to tell right now. So thanks for being here.


  • confusedjw

    Oh Merry, that is so awful. And to have to have this point of your Mom's illness and your lives complicated by shunning is just tragic. I'm so sorry. God Speed to you.

  • misspeaches

    Oh Merry - I know its not quite the same as the real thing but please accept this cyber hug from me! ((((Merry))))

    In my opinion your a wonderful woman. You've been through some terrible trials yet you battle your way through. This is going to be a hard one for you. I'm so sorry to hear about it. You know your friends, us here at JWD, will be here for you, the support when you need, encouraging words or just someone to listen to your pain.

    I wish you much inner strength and peace.

  • Forscher

    Funny how they'll call you when there is something unpleasant to be done, isn't it? Well, make the camper an adventure for the child and enjoy what time you do have. If anybody tries to witness to you or any of that mess, remind them that is "spiritual fellowshipping" and that should shut them up.
    I am sorry to hear that things are so bad with your mom. Mine died about 9 years ago. She spent most of the last three or four months of her life in the several hospitals and I spent most of that time up there with her. COPD is no easy way to go. So although I didn't have the Df baggage to add to things (she wasn't a JW anyway), I do have an idea of what is ahead for you.
    I wish you strength and peace.

  • Merry Magdalene
    Merry Magdalene

    Thanks for the kind words of encouragement, it's helping already. The news was a bit of a jolt, but I'm making peace with it...one breath at a time.

    I'll remember the "spiritual fellowshipping" tack! A kinder, gentler way of shutting someone up


  • foundfreedom

    Dear Merry my thoughts and prayers are with you during this sad time in your life, just remember that your true friends here are sending cyber hugs and lots of prayers your way.

  • Robdar

    What an awful situation to be going into. Please know that our thoughts are with you at this time.



  • Es

    Big hugs

    Im so so sorry,I hope that they will at least leave you alone so you can spend this time with your mother, as mother and daughter and not JW to D\F

    All the best


  • Merry Magdalene
    Merry Magdalene

    Thanks again.

    I know this is going to be really hard. I love her so much. But there has been this gulf between us for years, and, as far as I can tell, it's mostly religious.

    She's one of the most loving, kind, generous people you could ever meet and has been forcing herself to follow man-made god-masked rules all these years even when they violate her true feelings and maternal instincts.

    Maybe something good will yet come of all this.

    I'll miss not being able to get on-line, but I'll be thinking of you often and will feel stronger knowing you're thinking of me, and I'll still be joining in the healing vigils, most definitely.


  • bikerchic


    I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts.

Share this