What Are Effective Ways To Get Rid of The Witnesses?

by minimus 43 Replies latest jw friends

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    Crabs.

    I have it on good authority that they can strip an elk carcass to the bone in three days.

    Oh, that's not what you meant? Sorry!

  • Big Tex
    Big Tex

    A clove of garlic?
    A silver bullet?
    Wear a cross around your neck?
    Pull the sword out of the stone?
    Paint the blood of a lamb across your doorway?
    Avada Kedavra?

    What always works for me is sound like Hannibal Lecter while wetting my pants.

    Why hello Clarice . . . . .

  • garybuss
    garybuss

    I like to talk to the Witnesses. Here they have discussions on how to get rid of me. The last elder that was here pissed his pants, ran out of my house, and squealed the tires on his 15 year old Lincoln making his getaway after I showed him the Aid book's proof that Adam and Eve were created the same year.

  • littlerockguy
    littlerockguy

    [email protected] I love that!

    Of course I think it would get rid of just slightly less than 99% of them; I bet some converts over the last decade do not even know who Raymond Franz was. But I would hang a sign like that on my door if I knew any of them would come to my door; however I have lived in LR for a little over 4 years and have not seen one JW.

  • Elsewhere
    Elsewhere

    When they knock on your door, make some pleasant conversation and then tell them you need to step away for a bit...

    Come back with a large pitcher or bucket of water, swing it back, then swing it forward.... and let momentum do the rest.

  • minimus
    minimus

    Actually, the best thing to do is to tell them you'll be right back and just never come back. It's happened to me.

  • spoils_useful_habits
    spoils_useful_habits

    "Get the f*%k out of my yard! or I'll sick my pitbull who goes by the name of "satan" on you!".....they'll never come back, lol

  • Lapuce
    Lapuce

    Answer buck naked when there are sisters, and pretend you're gay when there brothers.... ok if its a couple, wanna to join me in a threesome?

    That should do the trick....

  • Lady Liberty
    Lady Liberty

    Either tell them you are an "apostate", or ask them to prove 607 without using the Societys literature. That ought to keep them gone a GOOD long time!! Personally we asked the Elders to explain why the lengths of reigns of the Babylonian Kings in all the Societys references added up to 586/587 for the destruction of Jerusalem and yet it CONTRADICTS the Kingdom Come Appendix,which state 607. The Elders answer: "there IS NO PROOF for 607"!! They said they would do some research and get back with us. Well...here it is 5 months later!! That question has kept them AWAY for almost a half a year!! It may work for you too. Although personally I have even MORE to share when and if they ever do come back...A.K. Graysons and the Babylon book..etc.so we are anxious for their return.. But still nothing. By the way.. we were very sincere in our approach. Although we DID sound like we knew what we were talking about, because of all the intense research we HAVE done, but we pleaded with them to "help" us. We even gave them charts of the Societys references for the Kings which they took. Interesting..isn't it?? It doesn't matter what "tone" you use, sincere or not, they have NO answers and I truely feel that is why they have not returned! Infact, my sister and her husband did the same thing with their Elders, and it has been about 3 months since they have returned either. But before that, they were getting regular weekend visits, almost to the point of harrasement! Anyway.. it appears as if this may be the one thing that will get rid of them if you don't want to be harrassed!

    Sincerely,

    Lady Liberty

  • Lady Liberty
    Lady Liberty

    Hang a I LOVE RAY FRANZ sign on your door. This should effectively get rid of 99% of them.

    Mary..I LOVE IT!!!

    L.L.

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