Really serious question!

by 5thGeneration 31 Replies latest jw friends

  • BizzyBee
    BizzyBee
    What is there not to believe? And when you do not believe what is taught, what do you have that is better? Come on, the faithlessness here. It is disgusting.

    Come on, you forgot "Duh"!

  • freedomlover
    freedomlover

    DREW SAGAN!

    **Now she's reading Crisis of Conscience.**

    HOLY CRAP! I think she is exiting faster than I did! KUDOS to you man! You done good man.....

    We can't wait to meet her. - freedomlover

  • poodlehead
    poodlehead

    Personally I did what you called faded. But I look at more like, why do I have to explain myself to them. When I needed help with my marriage, where were they. When I needed love and a friend, where were they. When I needed understanding and compassion, where were they.

    So now I am to do what they would like and write a letter explaining why I don't want to be a witness. Kiss my ....... I think you get the idea.

    You don't really think you could possible reach them and have them understand do you? They will just think you have given yourself to the devil.

    As for your wife, she can disagree with what you chose to do, and still except you. Me and my husband don't agree on a lot of things. But we respect the others decisions and except them.

    Good luck

  • Calliope
    Calliope

    sadly, i did the same to my then husband.

    he didn't want to be in the truth Ă” , so i told him that he should speak with the "well-meaning" elders that would surely help him see the "errors" of his ways. but by then he had already decided to da himself.

    this began what would lead to the end of our marriage.

    happily, i have now seen the "errors" of my ways and have successfully been fading for nearly a year. my ex and i are best friends and are both very happy with how things turned out.

    not to say you may have the same experience. it is somewhat unique. but perhaps give her time? that what i needed.

    calliopé

  • runningrussianboy
    runningrussianboy

    All you'll be doing is killing trees on deaf ears. Send emails, its easier, quicker and better for the enviroment. LOL And as far as things with the Ms? Why not just lie, your not a Witness anymore, its ok now :_)

  • BlackPearl
    BlackPearl

    I love it! "Da Troof" hahaha, very good. Never, in all my years, had I heard that one, great!

  • sass_my_frass
    sass_my_frass

    I had a bit of a breakthrough a few weeks ago when I wrote my people the goodbye letter; once those thoughts and feelings were out of my system, I no longer needed to send it!

    In reality any letter you send that leads to some elders questioning you on whether WBTS is God's mouthpiece, is going to get you df'd. Unless you're lucky enough to have elders who are happy to live and let live (unlikely), it's a one-way trip. Who says you need to leave? Who says you're leaving? Why can't you just be considering things, and inactive for a long, long time? If you don't actually strongly stand for anything, don't let yourself be forced to. People who have da'd have done so out of pure conviction. Your life and your time is your own, so stick to your own schedule.

    good luck with it.

  • MsMcDucket
    MsMcDucket
    What is there not to believe? And when you do not believe what is taught, what do you have that is better? Come on, the faithlessness here. It is disgusting.

    Yep, that's why grissom6741 hangs around. He likes it!

  • jwfacts
    jwfacts

    If you write a letter you will be disfellowshipped. Make sure your wife is aware of that. If you need to write the letter I would suggest also sending a dissassociation letter at the same time. That may be a good idea as it will allow you to move on with your life, I just am not sure your wife understands the full ramifications.

    On the other hand you could just fade and hope you are left alone. Eventually you will probably get caught up with and disfellowshipped. It is very hard not to escape scrutiny when you have an active wife.

    For the sake of peace in your family I hope you are able to help your wife see the truth and leave with you.

  • katiekitten
    katiekitten

    If you write a letter you will be communicating with them at cross purposes. You will want to try to explain things in terms of logic and they will want to counter with appeals to emotion (Grissoms post as an example - "the faithlessness is disgusting")

    Nothing will get resolved. No-one will feel any better. There will be more questions raised than answered. It will be ultimately frustrating and pointless for both sides.

    Remember all those 'discussions' you used to have on the doors? You could go round and round, both putting your point of view, both backing it up with scriptures, both bringing in further scriptures to explain the interpretation of the first scriptures. Both getting more and more fervent in your display of faith to whatever view you were defending. Did anything EVER get resolved? Did anyone move one jot or tittle in their belief?

    Just leave it. Fade. When you meet them in the vegetable aisle at the supermarket you can explain yourself one on one if you still feel the need to (but you probably wont).

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