by DesertRat 15 Replies latest jw friends

  • DesertRat

    Just a quick message to thank everybody for the outpouring of support in response to my very first post on this site. I came here only expecting one or two replies at most, and could not possibly have anticipated so much more. The encouragement I have found meant more to me than the final two or three years of indifference and unconcern encountered among my so-called 'brothers' at the Kingdom Hall.

    I shared this experience with my therapist on Wednesday and could not stop crying as I explained to her just what it means to be a JW 'castaway' (rootless and seemingly without a friend in the world) who has found hope and understanding in an online community of people who seem to have been there all along--through the same long years of deceit, hypocrisy, anguish and alienation from the world around. I only hope that one day I will be able to reach out and help someone on this site the way that I am being helped right now.

    Some of you have shared very personal thoughts and experiences that I would love to respond to immediately, but cannot due to the obvious limitations (work and time allotted for personal Internet access). Will try to respond personally to as many of you as possible, one step at a time. So nice to have a therapist who gives great advice...

    Signing off for the week now in hopes that everyone has a most enjoyable weekend. I feel so good now, I might just try again to make it drink-free (hiking and journaling in the mountains helps too).

    Your Friend From the Fiery Furnace

  • LittleToe

    Welcome to the Board.

  • lovelylil

    (((Hugs))) - glad to have you here. Lilly

  • candidlynuts

    welcome! i'm glad you got good responses.. the boards been a huge help for me as well.

  • Honesty

    Welcome, Desert Rat.

    In October 2004 my therapist asked me if I had ever head of cognitive dissonance. When I said I had not, she wrote it down and suggested I research it on the internet.

    By December 2004, I was free.

    I hope you will be soon, too.

  • Apostate Kate
    Apostate Kate
    I only hope that one day I will be able to reach out and help someone on this site the way that I am being helped right now

    You already have by sharing yourself with us.


    From another Mojave Desert Rat~Kate

  • juni

    Hi Desert rat.

    What a touching post. We're happy you enjoy being here with us. We all gain support, knowledge and insight, a good belly laugh, and validation of our experiences in the organization. And always a listening ear.

    Try to stay cool in the AZ heat wave!!!!


  • sass_my_frass

    Hi there Rat, just read your story. I'm so glad you found the site!

    It would be very interesting for me to find out how many others have experienced their 'brothers' in general, and elders in particular, as seemingly incompetent or just plain unfeeling in the face of mental or emotional distress.

    Include me in that; my depression was caught in time, but only through my own efforts and some help from workmates. The, let me think... seven elders who knew I was depressed gave the same advice - pray and study more. They made it clear that it was due to my own lack of effort. I doubt that guilt trip has been spared on any witness. Spending your life waiting for armageddon is going to profoundly affect a person.

    Okay, the odds of finding a local ex-JW are pretty slim, so stick around in the meatime. I'm still constantly amazed by the similarities in all of our stories - different events, but it's the same theme. We were all controlled, and now we're all trying to work out who we really are. I consider that the most important thing to work on - as a witness I was nothing else and could only define myself in a few shallow ways. That personality has gone and it's exciting to be building a new one.

    Hope you're okay. Keep it together.

  • jwfacts

    I felt very similar to you only 18 months ago. Being on this board rapidly help me improve my emotional state. It is very helpful to realise that there are hundreds of thousands of people that are in your situation and understand you. Ask as many questions as you want here so that you can move on to a wonderful new life.

  • gumby

    Just want to welcome you.

    Hey, I also lived in Arizona. Send me a PM if you wish and let me know where you are from. I might know you.


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