I am going away for awhile.........

by anewme 36 Replies latest jw friends

  • anewme

    I am going away for awhile to try to heal my heart. Since my dfing I have tried so hard to make sense of what has happened to me. To see it from the Society's view and from freedom's view. I even went back to the meetings last year to see if there was something I missed. I have tried to see everything from everyones point of view. I understand it. I value it. But I am exhausted from the effort.

    I had a scheme and dream to reunite somehow with my loved ones.......but that is just a fantasy and a delusion that is no longer bringing me good energy.

    Coming here has been a wonderful healing rest stop on my journey. Meeting you all and sharing with you has been an education in humanity and for me the first time I have expressed my thoughts in my entire life.

    But I want more.

    I want to progress and move further along the path. I dont want to be stuck here forever in ex-dom.

    I want a new life and happy new adventures. And I feel I will never be free of the sadness of the Watchtower and of my former life unless I break all ties with everything associated with it.

    My mind and heart need a break.

    Goodbye and take care.


  • Gregor

    I understand completely, I'm thinking about it myself. I really do wish you well.


  • ballistic

    It's good to get off here now and then. In my case I have the beginnings of RSI in my "mouse hand", it's quite painfull. I'm getting out of here and coming over there. Hopefully laying on beaches and driving round the US for 7 weeks will give it a break.

  • Cellist

    Good luck, anewme. I've enjoyed meeting you. It's possible that taking a break from the board will help.

    One thing I've found in life is that you'll never find peace by chasing it or by running away. You need to find the things that make you happy, live your life accordingly and eventually peace will find you. Acknowledge the past without overly dwelling on it, enjoy the present and plan for, but don't worry about, the future. I hope that makes sense. I'm not much of a philosopher.

    I hope you have a wonderful summer, full of healing and all manner of good things. (((Hugs)))


  • lovelylil

    will miss you, please keep in touch and let us know how you are doing. God bless you and peace be with you always, Lilly

  • Narkissos

    Good luck anewme

    To borrow (very freely) from Hermann Hesse's Siddhartha, one has to cross the river a number of times before being able to sit by it.

    I have enjoyed your posts a lot, and I'm not alone. You sure will always be welcome here, whenever you feel like popping up.

  • just2sheep


    thank you for your contributions here. perhaps someday we can all move on and meet in a happier place and time.


  • Arthur


    You did make a good point. In the process of healing, you certainly need to be moving toward something and to eventually free yourself from the cycle of always being anti-something. I believe that there are spiritual solutions to most of our problems. One of the most powerful things that you can do for yourself is to get involved in some type of humanitarian work. Get involved in something that gets you focussed on others who are worse off than you. (This doesn't require something drastic like joining the Peace Corps. or Red Cross) You would be surprised at how many opportunities there are out there in your own community to be of aid and encoragement to people in need. (i.e. children's hospitals, battered womens shelters, etc.)

    I have personally been involved various volunteer roles and I can tell you that it can have a miraculous effect upon your level of joy, self-esteem, and outlook upon life itself. Continue to pray earnestly for God to guide and direct you. Ask God to guide you to do His will for you and to avoid spiritual pitfalls.

    One of the most beautiful things I have ever read is the Prayer of St. Francis. You may or may not be familiar with it. But through many dark days, it has been a source of great inspiration to me. It reads:

    Lord, make me an instrument of Your Peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love; Where there is injury, let me pardon; Where there is doubt, let me sow faith; Where there is despair, let me sow hope; Where there is darkness, let me sow light; And where there is sadness, let me sow joy.

    Oh Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; To be understood as to understand; To be loved as to love;

    For it is in giving that we receive; It is in pardoning that we are pardoned; And it is in dying that we are born into eternal light.

    -St. Francis of Assisi

  • uninformed

    anewme, I have benefitted from you being here. Your posts have ofter been appreciated and thought provoking. Thanks for being here when I needed the help. Come back if and when you can. Brant

  • juni

    Dearest anewme,

    I value our time spent getting to know each other. I can understand why you want to move forward and not talk about this past religious stuff. You've had a very difficult life and it is still ongoing.

    You can PM me anytime if you want. I truly mean it when I say I wish you the very best. Draw close to God through his beautiful creations. Only God can read hearts. NO man can. Peace be with you as you find your course in life. You are a good person anewme and don't let anybody take that away from you.

    Your friend,


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