"the bloom of youth"

by rebel8 35 Replies latest jw friends

  • Fleur

    Okay, anyone who would actually rhyme the words "bod" and "god" has serious issues to begin with.

    I apologize for the roughness of this, it's just a draft but I have to post it because that )!*~% poem made me so nauseated. I know the meter is kind of off and the rhymes don't always work but I'll try to fine-tune it later and improve it. But this was in my head and if I don't get it out I'm gonna explode lol.

    This would be the poem from the 'other' side of the coin. Enjoy! I call it...

    Blessed with a Witness Mate by Jehovah... Born in the Truth, I was such a good girl I always did what I was told I knew if I held out He'd answer my prayer and bring me a husband from his sheeply fold. Baptized at the age of 12, modest bathing suit and all: Life meant study, prayer, service, and every meeting at the Hall. I ignored the boys at work who smiled and said that I was nice and pretty and sweet funny, (taking the Society's advice) I did not date, had never been kissed I held out hoping to find a mate though by "brothers" i was just dismissed I dressed up for each assembly, hoping I would find someone who would notice me, but most never paid me any mind. They may have looked, I realize, but their mothers watched so close and they'd get smacked into next Tuesday if they let their interest show. Then one sunny Saturday, in service out I went with my older sister; Pioneer; who introduced me to a gent He was a few years older than I, his father the PO I had no doubt that very soon to Bethel he would go But he decided instead to stay, to pioneer and serve, Became a Minsterial Servent and finally, he got up some nerve; realized one day he wanted sex, er, a wife and decided on that day to re-enter my life. I was quickly smitten, so young, so naive All of the lines he fed me, I so readily believed. We studied in the Family Book and had a chaperone though it bothered me how quick his hands moved whenever he got me alone. We married one fine Sunday, a day bright and clear in the local Kingdom Hall with all our family near He promised there to cherish me, to be my loving Christian head but in the end he turned out to be a big Christian ass instead; I supported us as he pretended to look for work he skipped his vocational training classes to watch tv, the big dumb jerk. He hit on both my sisters while at home, his morals were quite muddy; he yelled if I used cash for food, but expected to be fed like royalty without spending any money. His fetishes upset me much, the demands that he made telling me to be a spiritual wife, that I really should obey; this is not what I was told a Christian wife should be; he dressed me like a prostitute and my conscience bothered me; To no one did he answer, I answered to everyone I didn't feel right praying, because dirty I'd become I refused to give in on some things, and so for years we fought I showed him the Watchtowers, surely, this he'd too been taught! The more that I resisted the angrier he became when nothing I could do would please him, he began to call me filthy names. As time went on, oh yes, at last he got a job you see went to the bar every night after work and left me home with our baby on my knee He screamed, he bullied, he demanded he broke my spirit down he told me I was stupid, and crazy, and started pushing me around I begged the elders to help me, to make this abuse stop they said that I was like Job's wife, and if I complained, I deserved what I got Be a better wife and pray more, that is all they ever said but finally the day came when I decided to do something else instead. So weary I was of being abused, so tired of this life I decided I'd rather be dead than to ever continue being this man's wife. So I planned my execution, knowing he'd not cry every part of me believed that the only way out was to die. I began attending to the details and arranging my affairs; thought of writing a letter to my baby to let her know how very much I cared And then a worldy friend of mine, took me off aside and said I can see you falling, I'm afraid you want to die. I broke down and told him that I had given up all hope that life was just to horrible, and that I couldn't cope. I told him I was so worthless, surely he must see because my husband told me every day that no one else would ever possibly be as good to me as he I began to believe over all those years of restraint and abuse that when he held me down and demanded his way that I had no right to choose. My worldly friend said, oh, god no, none of this is true and if he treats you that way, then he has no right to you; I wondered for the first time if it wasn't all a lie that maybe I could find a better way, I didn't have to die. I got a job and got a plan and after awhile, I got away even though I lost my family because I didn't 'do things Jehovah's way.' When I told him the news that I would leave, he made his feelings very plain if I wanted to get out alive, I'd better leave him his 'good name'; that he expected to be seen as clean, I was a slut and whore I didn't care what it took, I just didn't want to be there anymore. I lost every friend I'd ever had, missed my family most of all they all went to my ex's wedding...he remarried in the Kingdom Hall. I found the truth about the truth soon after on the 'net and though it hurts for all I've lost, I know that I really did my best. I was abused, but I got free, and took my child away; she will never think that it's acceptable for any man to abuse her so that way; She will be free to choose a partner who will be kind to her through all; not only one who appears so good because his ass warms a seat at the Hall. She will know what to expect from men and to command the respect that she deserves and if any man will not treat her equally, she will kick him to the curb. Now many years have come and gone and I have a new life; the friend who shook me to my senses? Well, he asked me to be his wife. He treats me like a treasure won, a joy to hold and keep; Sometimes I still have nightmares; and they wake me from my sleep. And when I do, this 'worldly' man takes me in his arms whispers to me that I'm safe, that there is no need to fear harm. I am not in still in the dark place that nearly ended all my days; I'm married to my best friend now, for years, and in his "worldly" arms, I'm safe. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Take THAT! lol Note to JW women or any other; if you're being abused, GET OUT. Do it safely, and carefully. Make a plan and BE SAFE. But get out. Your life is waiting. ~essie p.s. hope this shows okay I am having some formatting trouble it seems.

  • Fleur
    rebel8, HAHA! I know that theory. The funny thing is, I don't know about anybody else, but my wife and I waited until marriage (we were sort of good JWs) and it was a huge production the first time. Didn't go very smoothly. We both realized and commented after that night that there was NO WAY the "spontaneous sex theory" could be true, at least for virgins. You really need to WANT IT the first time.

    ROFL! So true! As busy as his hands were when we were dating he didn't have any clue what he was doing and never got one LOL. It was a total disaster.

    Did anyone find some of those avatars interesting? The poses...the expressions..I would never know these kids were JW's if they weren't claiming it in their posts. Look pretty 'worldly' to me LOL

  • Fleshybirdfodder

    I agree Fleur, when by happenstance I come across a witless kid's profile and it says he/she is into death metal...

    Loosie: I can't wait!!!

  • loosie

    Man it takes them a long time to approve my request to join their group. I certainly hope those JW's aren't snobs....lol

  • rebel8

    OMG you guys are so hilarious! Dating Satan, & the virgin thing!

    begged the elders to help me, to make this abuse stop they said that I was like Job's wife, and if I complained, I deserved what I got

    Wow, what a story!

  • loosie

    Those stuck up little peeps.

    It's been 3 days and they haven't approved me to join their little group. Who do they think they are? It's just like the elders daughter cliques in the KH. Reminds me of why I don't go.

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