Do you think a JW childhood is abusive?

by Konrad West 66 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

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  under_believer

  PS: How do you use firefox and get paragraphs? Anyone?

  You have three options.

  1. Check the "Automatic Cr/Lf" option before posting. This will put an HTML paragraph break into your post for each line break you make. Be sure to start each paragraph on the very next line from the last one, or your post will have far too much whitespace between paragraphs.
  2. Put the HTML in yourself. Type "<br>" (without the quotes) each time you want a paragraph break.
  3. Use the IE Tab Firefox extension. This actually uses IE inside of Firefox. This is the option I use, that way you can use the full HTML editing component.
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  freetosee

  Yes, I think my childhood and youth was bad because of JW rules and over strict parents. When my father wanted to become an elder he couldn’t care less about the happiness of his children. My parents were criticised in the congregation for being extreme. Some said about my father, “you can take him out of the military, but you can’t take the military out of him”. He called his leather belt “dad’s best friend”. He glorified spanking children… My mother was mainly concerned about what the people in the congregation might say. Always wanting to prove and show that we were a happy family she expected us to be super well behaved, though she was not convinced about everything the WT said. The eldership of my father and our families standing in the congregation was her driving force.

  In addition to my fanatical parents were the isolation, guilt and fear of failing also the ridicule…etc. Sitting still at boring meeting that lasted forever or even worse the conventions in the 70ties that took about a week (if I remember correctly), were parents completed as to who has the most obedient children –I think this was very damaging to us.

  When I think of my childhood I am happy it is over. My parents plus the JW org was an unpleasant start in life. But I hope it makes me a better parent one day.

  Freetosee
• 

  zagor

  Just to add to discussion: I've just met a young lad from my old congr, his daddy is a prominant elder and surprise, surprise boy is attending university and not just any course but 4 year engineering. I saw him on campus and said "hey what are YOU doing here?" and he goes "Hm, well, oh I've just enrolled inot my first year" and that was after convention where education was pounded again.

  so no not every child is abused, but you've gotta be extremely lucky whom you choose as you parents before you get born - if only.
• 

  Mulan

  so no not every child is abused, but you've gotta be extremely lucky whom you choose as you parents before you get born - if only.

  And the big family too. Almost all of our family were JW's, from when I was about 4 years old. My grandparents stopped celebrating holidays, but that didn't stop the celebrations. We still had the big turkey dinners. Grandma still made great cookies, and fudge and divinity at Christmas time. We'd have a big ham dinner in the spring, and they still gave us presents, just not on our birthdays. We went to two International Conventions in New York City, 1953 and 1958, driving across country and back (6 weeks trips), camping most of the time, or staying at motels with swimming pools. I had cousins who were my best friends, and we had a blast on those trips. We saw the whole country, toured attractions, learned a lot about the history of the U.S., and mainly built memories.

  In the summers my grandparents took their grandchildren (even those not JW's) camping for two weeks, which are now some of my most cherished memories. Over the 4th of July, grandpa always got us sparklers to use in the campground, and we would go to the water's edge to watch the big fireworks displays.

  Our family was extremely close, and while we didn't do all the same things the kids at school did, we still got to do some of the things there. We got to date, go to school dances, get involved in school activities, and aspire to being something other than a janitor. I didn't have problems as a teenager, and neither did my cousins.

  As I said before, that was the 50's and 60's. Different times in JW Land.

  My brother was a bit of a rebel, but we never ratted him out. He straightened out by the time he was 20, pioneered, got married, had two kids, and became a big time elder. He was the first to leave the JW's, back in the mid 70's. I guess the rebel in him never really left. When his wife died in 1977, due to a massive blood loss and no blood transfusion, he "saw the light" and left it all.
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  Konrad West

  "In the end, I was ready to loose my family so that I could be free and not die inside."
  Yeah, same thing with me. I couldn't hold it in anymore, even if it meant not seeing my family. But at the same time, I didn't really think they would shun me, as I always loved my family more than Jehovah and thought they did too, so when they did shun, it hurt so much more.
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  neonskimmer

  i think that for a large proportion of families it is
  
  my own childhood was difficult for a number of reasons and growing up a jw was one of them.
  
  i think the most common abuses are psychological, although now that i think about it the attitude that a lot of jw's have towards physical punishment (especially at the KH, for crissakes) is disgusting. i can still recall the sound of 'rebellious' kids receiving discipline because they couldn't sit still for 2 hours. not one of my favorite memories.
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  serendipity

  Hi neonskimmer, and welcome!
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  deedles

  OMG!!! Do I ever!!! Cant believe Ive found this site!! Father an elder, but he WAS ok, not now, demented fool, but my mother...complete & utter nazi. Ruled my dad, still does, so much for christian submissive wives. Used all forms of punishment, emotional & physical, quiet treatment would last for days, all under the guise of 'its scriptural, for our own benfit'. She was and still is, alchohol dependant, not a christian quality has ever issued from her actions or mouth. Have LOADS TO TELL, but am on my way to work, finally qualifying at college and having my own business after years of further education being frowne upon!!!

  I loathe the witness hierchy, but pity the average mislead Joe, who think what they are doing is right. Painful ulcers to all elders!!
• 

  KW13

  Welcome deedles

  I wouldn't say abusive. At the time i trusted my mum and also thought it was the truth. We all make our own decisions based off what we as individuals see and think, we can't always live our past and look for things to blame for our errors or who we become.

  It messed me up pretty bad, i still have some issues to get over but the difference is, i am a better person for leaving and i have a confidence in myself that i can beat the organization by my actions and possibly words.
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  serendipity

  Hi deedles and welcome!