How To Make Espresso--By The Faithful And Discreet Slave

by under_believer 25 Replies latest jw friends

  • MidwichCuckoo
    MidwichCuckoo
    No, Miss carla, Jerhohum's witlesses are a reasonable people and are allowed to use their God-given intellect to choose whether or not to follow the FDS's directions in this matter.

    You think it's that simple? If I (hypothtically, as I don't want to admit to anything) make espresso using a different method, will the Org allow me 6 months to 'come in line' with the correct method before I get d'fed?

  • Swan
    Swan

    These frothy drinks go together well with a nice plate of Miracle Wheat TM muffins.

    Tammy

  • luna2
    luna2

    Well, Midwich, you may be marked as a person that it is not wise to associate with, but I do not believe you would have to face a JC.

  • fullofdoubtnow
    fullofdoubtnow

    And what about the Mormons' view on coffee?

    I doubt they have one. If you offerred a mormon coffee, I doubt he'd visit you much.

  • rebel8
    rebel8

    Here is what the rest of the article says, if you're interested.

    Espresso—Harmless Delicious Drink or Trap of Satan TM ?

    Espresso is a drink made by brewing dark roasted coffee beans with steam pressure. Although it has been enjoyed in Europe for centuries, it has recently gained popularity among worldly people across the globe.

    Espresso and its spawn, such as cappuccino and latte, are often served in coffee houses. Worldly TM people often gather there to socialize and cast Satanic TM spells on Jehovah’s Witnesses TM to persecute them. As we know from Watchtower TM teachings, socializing with anyone who isn’t a Jehovah’s Witness TM is a violation of God’s law. Why, some true Christians have fallen prey to tattooing, flag saluting, and even celebrating Christmas—all because of the unwholesome association TM they had at coffee houses. Some coffee establishments even promote unwholesome charities that work to save the rainforest—and since we know that Jehovah TM is about to save the rainforest, there is no sense trying to save it ourselves.

    Some groups of Jehovah’s Witnesses TM have even visited these ill-reputed establishments during their breaks TM while in field service TM . What a bad witness that is to worldly TM people!

    You may say, “All right then, I’ll just brew my own at home.” Is that really safe?

    First, let us examine the roots of the word “espresso”. Those of you who have graduated from Awake University TM know that it comes from the Aramaic “es”, meaning, “to worship”, and “presso”, meaning, “Satan” TM . Why would true Christians want to drink such an evil potion?

    Secondly, let us examine the medical implications of espresso abuse. Espresso is sometimes brewed with metal equipment, which has been proven to cause cancer and even death. (Dr. Quack’s medical study, 2/30/1874) Some unwholesome coffee sellers have purposely infected their product with pus, just as physicians do with vaccine serums. (The Golden Age TM , 11/12/ 1929)

    Thirdly, let us examine the costs involved. Espresso machines themselves are expensive, and many Witnesses TM who have fallen prey to this witch’s brew have found themselves having to work –gasp!—full time jobs, just to afford this luxury. Meeting attendance TM and personal study TM has suffered. Once they purchased the machine, they weren’t satisfied; they wanted to buy more and more accessories. Some who planned to just briefly work full time have found themselves still working full time years later, instead of working part time to free themselves up to knock on doors TM and annoy people with the Good News TM that they can live forever in a garden with pet foxes who play with beach balls TM .

    Fourth, imbibing espresso is known to be a pleasurable experience. After all we’ve inculcated into you over the years, how can you honestly believe that Jehovah TM wants you to enjoy life? Pleasure is surely something to be avoided.

    If you have already fallen prey to this devious brew, you owe it to yourself to confess to the elders. Although you may be disfellowshipped, you deserve the discipline and it will help you regain your eternal life. So what if your family and friends all abandon and shun you? At least you won’t be a victim of coffee house enjoyments any longer.

    (just kidding )

  • MidwichCuckoo
    MidwichCuckoo

    That's so funny rebel8 - are you a WT/Awake writer? You should be. Maybe we could find a way of hacking into the WTBTS system and uploading articles for publication......

  • rebel8
    rebel8

    lol

    No, I'm just a fake Awake writer. You can be too! -------> Spoof Awake Articles

  • luna2
    luna2

    Well, I'm a big dope. The JWs just came by and tried to leave some mags here at work. I put on my "don't bother me you annoying telemarketer type people" face and told them "we" weren't interested. I could have taken the things and looked to see if the Afake! had any further good news about hot beverages. Shucks!

  • cyd0099
    cyd0099

    It's the most bare-bones primer I have ever read. Far from the university level material they usually hand out...

    Most home machines are good for one thing, making coffee so bad people return to the bars to try and figure out why their drink (made on the 250.00 machine usually by someone with even less training than provided by this article) doesn't compare to the one they just bought (in our case, made by a barista with years of experience and training and a passion for coffee on a 16,000.00 machine with a water filtration system, etc...)

    That being said, there are some good machines out there, in what is referred to as the "pro-sumer" range. But what dub is going to spend 400.00 and up on a coffee maker? That's just not modest!

  • Rabbit
    Rabbit

    Rebel, you little imp ! That was hilarious and at the same time you caught that old flavor & odor of the WT. We are all highly sensitized to those 'special' words and phrases, aren't we ?

    Btw, I have a $50 Mr.Coffee espresso machine that works pretty good. It's not the best, but, I can do-it-myself.

    Rabbit - drinking Colombian Supremo today & Costa Rican Peaberry tomorrow

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