Happy Freaking mother's day to me...when your mom is crazy as a loon. (page 3)

katiekitten

Oh essie, I guess if your dad doesnt have the confidence to deal with the poblem there is very little you can do.

I am so sorry. All you can do is try and survive and keep telling yourself you have done everything you can.

JamesThomas

Essie, besides being such a dear, you write very well. I enjoyed your post, as painful as it was. Does that make me a masochist?

All I can say is: is the silent awareness which sees all the family drama unfold, is THAT suffering? And if you can come to clearly realize this purity within and as your truest self, then certainly that must be present within your crazy dear mother as well.....yes?

Have a happy freaking Mothers Day!

j

poodlehead

I am so sorry you are going through this. My Mother had demetia before she died and it was a roller coaster I never wanted to go on. Not to mention she was Bio Polar in the extreme. She had been very abusive to me as a child and frankly I hated to be around her. But I tried to do what I could. I know that feeling of guilt for not wanting to see her and then when you do go all you can think about is.....How long do I have to stay. I know it's hard thing to do, but don't let your guilt eat you up. Do what you can. You have to take care of yourself first.

I am not a Doctor and this is just a guess. But it sounds like your Mother is a Paraniod Skisafrenic. ( I can't spell so forgive me.) Like I said that's only a guess. But if I am right, they may be why she is attracted to JW. They all think Demons are everywhere. She probable was more able to hide it when she was younger. But with years without treatment she is getting worse. I will tell you that there are wonderful medications out there that will help. I have known others that it has. But they have to be supervised. They love the rush they feel when they are completely crazy. Taking meds makes them feel normal. But to them normal is the walking dead, compared to the high they have been on.

I would definatly try to step in and get her help. I know you probable wont get much help from your family. But you can try on your own. If the right doctor sees her condition he will make sure she is taken care of. And that doesn't always mean hospitalization. Remember mental health care is very expensive, the insurance companys don't want her in the hospital. So they will try to work on a out patient basis first. If that doesn't work then hospitalization.

Don't take it lightly she is a danger to her self and others. It may not seem it to you. But until you are with her 24/7 you really don't get a clear picture of how bad she is. If what you see scares you. Imagine what you are not seeing.

If you need to talk to me feel free. Leave me a message. I am very concerned for your mother and you and your family. This can destroy everyones life. Take care sweety.

sass_my_frass

Oh ((((Fleur))))

It won't happen to you, because you escaped it, and you've seen her. Tell you husband what a honey he is as often as you remember, and yourself that you are too.

Es

oh thats so sad, it must be so hard to see that in your mother.

Big hugs

dont know what else to say sorry

es

Fleur

thanks again everyone for your continued support and input.

Make no mistake, I do not delude myself about the danger of the situation. I do believe that my mother is likely bi-polar if not something worse. The thing is that I have no say-so on their papers or any legal leg to stand on. Being that I'm df'd, the JW family won't deal with my opinions on the matter even though even many of them agree that my mother needs help! Since she doesn't leave the house it's hard to prove anything as far as people outside the family seeing her behaviour. Those who have observed that my father lacks the emotional where-with-all to handle it, you're right. I know that he feels responsible to care for her, he blames himself for mistakes he's made years ago (which the statute of limitations should surely have run out on by now; I know the sordid details because my mother never believed in keeping their dirty laundry from the kids.) But no matter how my husband and I try to persuede him, we get nowhere.

I have tried for years to get her help. It just isn't going to happen in my lifetime. She's too smart; even when my father was hospitalized and the nurses observed her odd behaviour and sent the therapist round to talk to her, she smiled sweetly, simply excused herself from the room, thanking the therapist for her concern but saying that she was doing just fine and then she went to get a cup of tea. She told me later there was no way she was going to say anything to the "worldly therapist." she blames therapists for "ruining her life" because I got help in my 20's and was "never the same" afterward.

Sometimes I wonder how much is really mental illness and how much is really just the fact that she is also very devious and has a mean streak a mile wide? How much is that she's a bitter and angry person and has been since she was a teenager?

I could drive myself crazy thinking about it...grieving over it...usually I just try to go on with my daily living and my own life and tune her out...but it gets harder some days. Mother's day is always a tough one for me. I'm not alone, apparently, I heard from an old aquaintence I hadn't heard from in five years yesterday. She has never been a dub but her relationship with her mother is likewise unsalvagable. Listening to her, and reading all your comments, really helped me realize that when it comes to mothers and daughters, I'm in the group that's the rule, not the exception. I don't know if any of us ever have the mother we wish we'd had. I can only hope that someday my own child will look back and say that she had one that was good to her.

essie

mrsjones5

Listening to her, and reading all your comments, really helped me realize that when it comes to mothers and daughters, I'm in the group that's the rule, not the exception. I don't know if any of us ever have the mother we wish we'd had. I can only hope that someday my own child will look back and say that she had one that was good to her.

You said it sister! After what my mother did last year to my sister (read this: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/90337/1.ashx ) I believe she's insane. And yeah I'm going to visit her in 3 weeks time. My kids will be highly monitored with her, can't count on my wimpy dad. Oh the joy of walking on eggshells for 2 weeks.

Stay strong.

Josie ~ working on not becoming my mother and being the mother I wanted her to be

Nosferatu

I say house because wherever we lived it never felt like home.

I can relate to that. My parents keep calling it "my home". When I moved out, they kept on asking me if I missed it. The answer, sadly, was NO. The only thing I missed was the giant picture window in my bedroom. The rest of it I hated.

What do you do the day you realize, after years of thinking that your parent was just being difficult, that they are in fact, actually insane?

Grab a bag of popcorn and laugh yourself silly. That's about the only thing you can do. Both my parents are nuts. My mother almost seems to be intentionally destroying herself. She has diabetes and is constantly eating sugary crap including fruit. My father has already planned to embark on another hairbrained scheme to make money, and unfortunately (because I couldn't keep my mouth shut), it involves me and I WANT OUT! I swear my wife is going to kill him yet. More on that later.

wednesday

sorry the software here posting befoer i had said anything fluer, I am so sorry your mom is mentally ill. But iti s an illness. it has had a terrible effect on all of your lives. It seems you are trying to make so sense of it, but your can't. she needs to be on meds and that is about it. But you do not have to be like her. I faced the same thing you have and you don't have to become her. The best thing you could do for yourself is get some therapy and talk this out. She has a life altering illness and she is not going to snap out of it. and it is no sense blmaing her about it, it is useless as blaming her for having cancer. you are an adult now, lead your own life, help her when you can and try to go on. It will always hurt, but you can't let yourself become obessed with fixing her. weds

loosie

((Essie))

Don't worry about becoming like your mom. The fact that you can see where she is wrong is the basis for you not being like her.

Your mom needs help..not from you... from a professional.

When I see myself doing something that reminds me of my mom I usually take a step back a little, and ask myself is what I am doing wrong?

We are bound to be like our mothers a little bit. We can't help our genes.

So when I see myself talking to other cars on the road (like my mom did) ( no one in this town knows how to drive), that its ok to talk to bad drivers, within the safety of my own car. I realize that I don't drink myslef into a alcoholic stupor and take my 10 year old kid for car rides while drunk.

Happy Freaking mother's day to me...when your mom is crazy as a loon.

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