I've had it. I want to DA myself

by White Waves 30 Replies latest jw friends

  • White Waves
    White Waves

    but I am afraid to send a letter to my old KH. What should I write to make sure they don't just DF me? Also, They refused my request to DA myself before. Should I also send the letter to my last KH? Any thoughts greatly appreciated!!! WW

  • undercover
    undercover
    They refused my request to DA myself before.

    How can they do that? If you write a letter saying you reject the teachings of the WTS and no longer consider yourself a JW, then you are DAd. Period.

  • KW13
    KW13

    was gonna say just that.

    Write a letter saying you are no longer going to be attending meetings or involving yourself in anything JW related.

  • james_woods
    james_woods

    How in the world can they refuse your request to DA yourself??? This is for you to decide to do whether they like it or not. I think I would just write them again - (certified) "I no longer want to be considered as one of the Jehovah's Witnesses or a member of the Watchtower society religion" or some such simple thing without saying why.

    After that, no more contact and who cares what they do next?

    Of course, maybe I am oversimplifying if there are family and friends on the other side.

    But - if you've had it, you've had it. I sure did know when this great feeling of "had it" came over me!

    good luck, James

  • Dr Jekyll
    Dr Jekyll
    What should I write to make sure they don't just DF me?

    As I understand it the results of DA'ing are the same as if you were DF'd nowadays, the congregation is still told to snub you.

  • unique1
    unique1

    There is only one phrase for both now "----- is no longer one of JW". There is no Disassociation or Disfellowship announcements anymore, all announcements are combined into the above.

  • fullofdoubtnow
    fullofdoubtnow

    Hi White Waves, I am da'd, and I took the letter to my kh and handed it to the po in person in front of another ex jw who had accompanied me. He didn't like it, but had to accept it and made the announcement shortly afterwards. If you want to da, they cannot refuse to allow it, whatever they claim to be able to do. My boyfriend dedpoet da'd last summer, and he sent his letter to the UK hq. He won't go in a kh, or even the car park of one, so he did that because he didn't trust the elders in his former cong to acknowledge his letter. Perhaps you could do that, if your elders try to be awkward?

    Hope this helps

    Linda

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    Fook 'em - if you DA you are still playing by THEIR rules.

    Who are they to tell you what you have to do to have a normal life?

    Walk away, and never look back - not because you'll be turned into a pillar of salt, but because you'll be too busy to think twice about them. Continue to NOT PLAY BY THEIR RULES by making a big showy greeting of any JW you used to know when you happen to meet in public - DO NOT let them shun you! In fact, after a big effusive greeting and their cold-shoulder reply, you can ask - "ARE YOU SHUNNING ME?" and proceed to mock them and dance about like Ed Grimley.

    "Oh, that is so righteous, I must say! You have on the complete spiritual suit of armour, but you can't stop my dance of joy!"

  • White Waves
    White Waves

    fullofdoubtnow - I am like your friend - I can't go near a KH, much less enter one. I have too much hatred. I know the end result of DA is the same as DF but I thought at least it would be my decision. Nathan Natas- it would be so much easier to do as you say if my JW family didn't exist! Seriously though, I am already shunned completely and have moved 2 1/2 hrs drive from them so tracking me down for a DFing would take a lot of effort. I just don't want WBTS to have power over me ever again.

  • outnfree
    outnfree

    WW,

    I found it extremely cathartic to write a DA letter, deliver it to all the elders' home addresses, and then to make sure that I was in the KH to hear the announcement (I asked the PO to let me know the date). I sat down front and walked out with a HUGE grin on my face and never looked back.

    I suppose writing the DA letter did acknowledge a certain amount of power over me, but I felt like I DA'd MY way. Perhaps you can think up something that will feel right to YOU and make you feel like jumping up and clicking your heels for joy as I felt.

    outnfree

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