by What-A-Coincidence 41 Replies latest jw friends
damn! How stupid!!!
Here is another one...
per latest KM.
WEAR SOME FREAKIN' DISGUSTING COLOGNE/PERFUME OR SMELL LIKE WEED OR BREAK OUT A BONG OR BREAK OUT A ROLLED UP $50.00, A RAZOR, AND SOME WHITE STUFF. GET MY DRIFT?
That is how we roll in IRAN.
A "troubled" guy yelled out at the top of his lungs after the Public Talk at a district convention "USE YOUR INSTINCTS"..... we just thought he was crazy, he had three "heavies" following him around at the time, who then escorted him out.
Now when I think about it, he was absolutely correct, he is now my hero!!
This is an idea I've been working on for the upcoming assembly.
Get a group of people together and print off a bunch of papers saying 'This row is reserved" and rope it off.
Do this for a bunch of random rows on all levels.
Also bring different colour bad smelling liquids in large quanties and accidently spill them near the top of the asile.
Save radom seats using print outs from apostate sites.
Post nude pictures on the sides of the building saying 'Come joing the fun inside!'
I've torn off the paper several times!
The biggest one on the list for a disruption would be cutting the speaker cables it would be very very easy and you could snip it in a few places so that they couldn't just splice it! Cut out three foot of wire from each speaker and they would be SCREWED! If you had a group of say 5 people you could kill the entire sound system in say 15 minutes! I can see it now next they will have guards on every speaker!
Sit in the middle of the aisle and get up every 20 minutes to go to the restroom. If you have children, just switch off.
Bring candy with wrappers, popcorn, soda, water and make a mess. Suck on the water bottle noisily.
Take a stroll around the facility during the session looking for friends.
Read the newspaper while the session is on.
Don't stand up when they tell you.
Clomp down the bleacher staris if you have those at your facility.
During the break have your kids have a foot race in the halls.
Wear a sexy outfit, cleavage is good.
Guys could do that but it would be better to wear a leather suit.
Sing a different song from the one announced.
Don't clap for anything.
Sing louder than everyone else.
Sing a "worldly" song
Put a humourous name on your card (Eric Cartman, South Park congregation)
Blondie
I was so angry when I saw that the mirrors were covered. So I askeed someone about it and they told me just what you had said. So I couldn't stand it. I started bugging her about about it, and then I started what "if"ing. "Well what if I have something in my eye?" "What if I can't get it out?" I found myself starting to rub my eye and next thing I knew.....I had something in my eye. They had to peel off a corner and let me wash my eye out. Then for the rest of the day I had the uncontrollable giggles. People behind me were worried I was crying. My eye was all red and now it looks like I am making crying motions. Of course the more people try and console me the more I laugh. I can't remember having such a good time at a convention.
Here is another one. I was at a Book study and I had to fart so bad I couldn't breath. I leaned over to get up to use the bathroom and that was all the pressure it needed. FFFFUUFFFF! I once again began to laugh and so did most everyone else. Afterwards a sister concelled me on my manners. "I can't believe you just raised up and releived yourself." I told her next time I would let HER pull my finger.
Oh I would also get in trouble for drawing. I love to draw, and I am not to bad. But sometimes I would forget where I was. So here I am drawing a man, not paying that much attention to what I am doing. Okay, so he was naked. As I start to work my way down, my husband looks at me funny. I look back and mouth "What?" He kind of nodds for me to look back. I do and what I see is ROWS of women looking over there bibles and checking out my drawing. Some in discust, some in disbelief, but some just lost in the moment.
here is one my brother and his buds would do back in the day...
they'd eat the most disgusting food for breakfast.. i mean really OVER EAT..then sit up in the highest bleachers.. and fart...one summer it was sooo hot and airless.. 4 rows around them got up and moved.. it was HILARIOUS
they got in trouble kinda.... the dads were laughing so hard they just got mildly fussed at..and were allowed to keep sitting up there .. no one wanted them near them!!
poodlehead..that was funny ... the bookstudy ... i wish i could be there. ... i live for those moments.
That is another idea...
EAT BEANS THE NIGHT BEFORE THE ASSEMBLY AND GAS'M UP. WALK PAST THE SPEAKER AND LET ER RIP.
OR RIDE AROUND THE PARKING LOT JUST BEFORE THE ASSEMBLY STARTS LIKE THIS GUY...
I may have to try some of these. Not doing so hot on meetings lately, so might be awhile. And I'll be damned if I ever attend another assembly/convention unless it coincides with an Apostafest and demonstration.
Anyway, a few things that I've done during meetings:
-Sharpie'd a tattoo on my fake-tan-lotioned bare ankle and crossed/recrossed my legs repeatedly.
-Received NFL football scores via txt msg on my cell (Go Carolina!!!). "forgot" to turn to Silent. derrrrr
-High.Slits.
-Low.Necklines (ooooh, dropped my PEN, gotta lean over....)
-Play "Dope Wars" or "Bejeweled" on my palm pilot
-Blew and popped my fair share of bubbles
-Muttered a few "What?!" in response to some dumb-ass point made by the speaker, loud enough that the kids looked at me funny
-Instead of "jehovah" etc, wrote "appreciate" at the top of a piece of notebook paper and had kids talley how many times elder Joe said it...
-Let my cell ring, then as I was *almost* out the doors to the foyer, answer "HI SWEETIE!!" (I'm not married... not dating any jw...) even if it was just my brother or other family members who like to make my phone ring during meeting times.
-I don't sing.
Nothing too exciting, but a few mind games going on...
Play a drinking game ...
Every time that say the word Worldly, take a shot of tequila, until someone passes out or throws up
