JW urban legends (page 2)

Highlander

Another of my favorites, and these two examples I know of personally.

This example I'm sure is common since I've heard it twice now from separate people.

It usually goes something like this. A 'self-sacrificing pioneer' tells of the time they had an unexpected bill(maybe a car repair) and they didn't have enough money to pay for their

monthly bills. This unexpected car repair bill usually was about 350 usd and they were just so stressed out,, "how am I going to pay this bill?!!!"

Well, I think you know the next part. This 'self-sacrificing pioneer' unexpectedly received a bonus in that exact amount of their unexpected bill !!!!!

O Jehovah!!!! the pioneer exclaims!!!!

I never believed this BS from the two people I know of that had this type of experience. Personal I always felt the person in question was dillusional and yes, they may have received

a bonus or raise in salary, but never in the identical amount of this unexpected bill. People love to exaggerate and this is no different.

The

i loved smurfs, until they told me they were demonic and they would run around halls... that was traumatizing to an eight year old... i had a giant one in my basement and was scared shitless of the thing...
the infamous one

I heard a a child bringing a smurf doll to the KH and halfway through the meeting the smurf got up and ran out!

...

noni1974

I was a 5 generation JW on my Mom's side of the family.

My grand father told me that when he was little he would go over to the neighbors house to play with their sons.The parents had bought their kids a ojie (SP?) board to play with.It worked so they said.It would move and give them messages.Well my Grand father went over to their house with his brother to play and all of a sudden it would not work.They went out of the room and it worked again.He said it didn't work because Jehovah was protecting him and his brother from the demons.

I also heard about the smurfs.I was not allowed to watch them either.We heard various storys about them comeing alive and attacking witnesses.

MidwichCuckoo

I never heard anything about SMURFS being demonised - is it an American thing?

One I recall - a Pioneer (?) desperately needed a car but couldn't afford one. He saw an advert in the newspaper - a nearly new car being sold privately for about £10. No one else answered the advert (Jehovah made everyone else think it was a misprint in order that the Pioneer could obtain it for FS).

zagor

I never heard anything about SMURFS being demonised - is it an American thing?

I don't know much about smurfs (I did hear somethig but can't put my finger on it)
BUT there was a big fuss in my old congregation about "some actually watching Alf Show"
Poor old Alf was characterised as some demonic creature.

Another one of my favorites was about I believe couple of dubs witnessing to a lady who was a medium, they told her about 1914 and evil spirits being cast down from heavens. She was "apparently" dumbstruck and asked them how they knew that, then she confessed to them who she was and that these creatures have told her that exact thing.

Another one was about Bill Gates traveling here through outback and having car brake down (poor old Bill couldn't afford better car apparently) and good JW comes along and help our Bill without knowing whom he was. Few days latter he gets a call from a bank that his mortgage has been paid off by no other than Bill Gates.

Story for what I later heard is complete distortion as Bill Gates was at that time reincarnated as Donald Trump who did apparently paid off someone’s mortgage; I doubt it was a dub. If he started preaching he probably wouldn't get a dime.

aniron

heard one a couple of years before a left. some brother for some reason was at a UN meeting and approached someone of importance and asked when the government conspiracy against religion was going to take place and the UN guy was like "how did you know that"? everyone in the cong. was getting worked up about it and were thinking that Armageddon was about to come true.

Yeah we had this one told in our congregation here in England as well.

Couple of JW's call at house in London. Speak about how governments will turn on religion etc. Man says he works for UN and that there are plans to do away with religion. All I could think of at the time was "UN security must be crap. If this guys comes out with something so controversial to a couple of complete strangers on his doorstep."

Considering what we now know about the WT-UN connection it makes even more ridiculous.

Many of the other stories that abound, people getting struck by lightning, angels protecting etc

I have also heard from Mormons, Catholics, Moonies and others. Almost exactly word for word.

jojochan

loved smurfs, until they told me they were demonic and they would run around halls... that was traumatizing to an eight year old...

I thought I was the only one!! wow....

But really; I know hella jw urban legends. Like the one where a brother goes to a nightclub and meets a nice sexy lady. They have drinks and engage in simulated coitus on the dancefloor(freakin') Then goes to her place for a nightcap, and hot butt naked sex. When the morning came, he got up out of bed where she layed sound asleep, walked over to the bathroom, and loe and behold he found the"truth" book.(you can see how old this was, right?) Well, it turned out that she was an unbaptised publisher. He was shocked but excited and aroused her from her sleep.

He was so in x-stacy he could not help BUT to out himself.

But alas she felt extreamly guilty of last nights' trist....but did not tell him.

Weeks later she found the congregation that he attended; told the elders in full erotic detail of what took place and revealed that she is pregnant with his child.

And in those days, 9 times out of 10 there were no such thing as "public" or "private reproof. He got disfelloshipped.

Yeah....it's true, DAMN true.

And another thing...I had hella smurfs, my dad was liberal in that department....I love my dad.

But it sucked because I REALLY wanted MY smurfs to come to life and play with me since I was an only child at the time .

jojochan.

looking_glass

Or how about the robber/rapist (interchangable depending on who is telling the story) that was hiding under the bed and when the mom read from the bible that night to little Johnny, the robber/rapist heard it and then snuck out and later became a regular pioneer. The speaker said it was Jah's HS protecting the family/woman. This story was told once on the stage at a 2 day CA and a male friend of mine was so angry because as he put it - so those women here who have been rapped, they did not have Jah's HS protecting them how does that make them feel, now they have been raped twice, once by a sicko and another time by these [spew of swear words]. Wow was he angry.

james_woods

At one of the big conventions in 1969, they had a little old japanese lady tell her experience. She was witnessing in Hiroshima and got thrown into jail. So, she is in the basement of the police building when the A bomb goes off and claims that she was spared from the bomb because of getting thrown in jail...seemed believable enough, but who knows? It sure fits in with their superstitious tendencies, doesn't it?

aoxo

i beleive the one with the car goes like this; a pioneer woman sees a car ad for a $20.00 bmw and checks it out. the lady says you have to pay before you see the car. so she does and its a brand new beamer. she asks why she is sellig it for so little and the woman says that it was her husbands who recently left her for a younger woman and sent her divorce papers and legal instructins to sell the car and send the money she sold it for to him in another country. i have heard this story as a joke format by a non witness before so i know its bs. how about this one; there was a sister that liked a guy she met door to door. he liked her and they started to date. the elders said not to date him because he's worldly and cannot be trusted and will take her away from god. she did anyway and married him. on the wedding night he announced to her that he has leprosy. i might be mistaken but isn't leprosy like erradicated or something. ive never heard of someone who wasn't in the bible having leprosy.

JW urban legends

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