Do you think the real reason why Elders don't make shepherding visits is...

by XJW4EVR 35 Replies latest jw friends

  • XJW4EVR
    XJW4EVR

    that they can't count the hours?

  • SickofLies
    SickofLies

    Because they are afraid of me

  • Elsewhere
    Elsewhere

    From experience I can say they are always awkward and emotionally draining.

    Over time JWs come to learn that anytime an elder wants to talk to them it is because of something bad - rarely if ever good. Stop and think, was there ever a time when one or more elders told you they wanted to talk to you privately that you got excited and felt all warm and fuzzy about it? NO! NEVER!

    When, as an elder or MS, you call and tell someone you want to visit for a shepherding call, they automatically start worrying about what it is they are doing wrong. JWs basically view a shepherding call as a mini-Judicial Committee. I also noticed that the people are reluctant to talk much for fear of revealing too much.

    Imagine if out of the blue two cops knocked on your door and asked if they could come in and "just chat for awhile to make sure you're ok".

  • blondie
    blondie

    That's part of it.

    Part is that they don't like making shepherding calls. The reality is that they don't really like many of the people at the KH. The elders tend to socialize with only people they are personally drawn to or are other elders, people the same age, or with kids if they have kids. If I had a dollar for every time an elder confessed how they dislike doing shepherding calls, I could have retired at 50.

    When was the last time an elder initiated going in field service with people in his group? Hmmm.........the most recent WT is hammering this issue.......indicating that elders are still not doing this.......few ever did over my 50 years in the WTS. The elders don't "know" many people at the KH even after 15 years of attending meetings of the same congregation.

    If elders rarely progress beyond hi at the hall, are they going to find it fun to spending 30 minutes talking to the same person at their home?

    What if the average elder were assigned to watch 3 hours of sports each week...would he find time?

    If they just made short, friendly ones, visiting without looking for something wrong or going because something wrong was "reported," they might find it more rewarding.

    Blondie

  • Lady Liberty
    Lady Liberty

    I wouldn't be suprised! I remember one time, I called the PO because my Grandmother was really discouraged. She hadn't been to meetings for some time. She had been in that hall for years, yet NO one called. That just made matters worse. Feeling very unloved, like most here have experienced. I asked the PO to call on her to encourage her. His reply was, "She knows exactly what she should be doing." Dismissing her as if she was'nt HIS problem! That if she didn't want to come to meetings, ect. then that was her decision. I couldn't believe it!! Of course she eventually came around, but I never told her that story. (MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE) She would have been crushed!! She looked up to him like you wouldn't believe. Him and his family could do "no wrong". Anyway, I think that is pretty much that standard thinking. "Out of site and out of responsibility!!"

    Sincerely,

    L.L.

  • Amnesty Vendor
    Amnesty Vendor

    Come on have a heart folks!

    Although there are many, not all elders are jerks. When I served as one, it was not an easy job, if you tried to do it right. I'd come in from work, catch hell from my theocratic wife, work on talks, have to go out in service, study for my own meetings, go to an infinite number of useless, unproductive elder meetings, take private calls from lost sheep, pick up the slack for the lazy, jerk elders, catch more hell from my theocratic wife complaining about all the other stuff I'm doing instead of focusing on her, ... you get the picture!

    No wonder I left all these wonderful blessings behind!

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow

    Elders do not have the training and education that clergymen and women have to minister to the weak, floundering and the suffering sheep in their flocks. They really have little clue as to how to counsel and truly help people, beyond the WT agenda of "do more."







  • bikerchic
    bikerchic

    Most of the R&F who have problems unrelated to spiritual needs as much as physical or emotional problems. Most Elders™ are not trained or equipted to help in those areas. No wonder they don't like making shepherding visits they simply can't help beyond "wait on Jehovah" and do more.

    blondie:

    If they just made short, friendly ones, visiting without looking for something wrong or going because something wrong was "reported," they might find it more rewarding.
    Nah that sounds way too much like shepherding.
  • juni
    juni

    I totally agree with you FlyingHighNow.

    Also, with such a scheduled life it is just one more thing to do and like someone else said their wives are also on their backs to spend time at home. I can understand why they feel swamped. Actually who would want to reach out for this "privilege"?

    But also in reading ISOCF it's not just the cong. elders who don't want to spend the time shepherding the flock. The organization fills up your life with so much crap you don't have spare time. If you get a little "down time" it's a miracle. And even then you should be considering theocratic things. I FEEL A CHOKE HOLD AROUND MY NECK!!

    Juni

  • drew sagan
    drew sagan

    I think this really depends on who the Elder is personally. There are those strange few that actually care and try to be as encouraging as they can, but they are becoming and endangered species.
    Think about the facts surrounding many of these guys (and JWs in general)
    1. Before they where JW they probablly wern't very interested in religion
    2. Even if they where "raised in the truth" most view it as something mundane
    3. These guys usually have bad jobs and no education meaning...
    4. They have to work alot to keep things going
    5. Many become slaves to organizational policy rather than being shepards. Examples of this
    -reading the watchtower and awake more than the bible
    -allways talking about their "expierance" instead of drawing from something scriptual
    -using a publishers time card to "gauge how strong he is spiritualy"
    6. Should I even mention their wives!!!! Enough said there.

    The other thing I have noticed about these guys is that if they actually go out on a sheparding call they stay forever and are very boaring. They want to check all bases and make shure your still "ok", check you off the list and then move on to the next squeaky wheel.

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