Were You Always Feeling Guilty & Unhappy During Your Witness Years?

by minimus 30 Replies latest jw friends

  • minimus

    Sad. Really....Can't help but feel bad for soooo many that were hurt by the Organization.

  • Freedom Fighter
    Freedom Fighter

    Definitely guilty - I couldn't seem to feel the 'joy' that everyone else appeared to have. Apart from this I would never own up I was a witness when the situation demanded. This made me feel like a real coward as I didn't make a stand for " Jehovah and his principles ". The demand to 'do more' and being compared to the shining examples of youth in my Hall (who incidentally were just as spiritually lightweight as me) was a constant strain.

  • serendipity

    I felt guilty and inadequate until 5 years ago. At that time, I decided that I was only going to do what I felt like doing in "Jehovah's Service" (really WTS service). I continued to pray for the motivation to go out in service, go to more meetings and study more, but it was never granted. So I decided that God didn't really need us to do all that. I was comfortable in my decision and comfortable with Christ's judgment of me - whatever it was.

  • Frog

    I think I was about as alergic/intolerant as a person could posibly be whilst growing up in the org. I was in a perpetual sttate of guilt & mysery. I realise the org doesn't have this effect on everyone to the same, but to me that's just how it was 24/7. It's no wonder I began to feel so incredibly bloody liberated upon my fade out!

    Frog - of the no-one could be happier to be free class. x

  • freedomlover

    oh man, the guilt was overwhelming for me. In fact one of my first realizations was that I was tired of feeling guilty. I felt guilty if I missed meetings, service, didn't do as much as the next dub.....it was exhausting.

    I have literally NO guilt now. I could care less anymore when people compare me. It really doesn't bother me anymore and it feels great!!

  • RubaDub

    I was very joyful when I completed my pioneer hours a week before the end of the month.

    Rub a Dub

  • notperfectyet

    I was never happy, but what is happiness?

    I was popular, got to give the elders and CO's dinner...I am such a great cook and hostess.

    I never once got a Thank you note, not that there is anything wrong with that.

    But I put my ass out there, guilty??? No.


    OMG yes

  • minimus

    Hopefully, we are happier now since we know that we don't have to chase after a fantasy. Wasting our time and energy sux.

  • delilah

    Much happier now, Minimus, since I've stopped chasing that WTBTS dream.....Life is good.

  • minimus

    I'm happier that I don't waste my days doing nothing fulfilling.

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