Were You Always Feeling Guilty & Unhappy During Your Witness Years?

by minimus 30 Replies latest jw friends

  • minimus

    Flyin', I'm sorry that this was the result.

  • Honesty
    Were you ever really joyful as a Witness?

    No. There is no joy in worshipping the Watchtower god of death and destruction to all who reject the message from the Faithful Discreet Slave yadda yadda yadda yadda

  • Cabin in the woods
    Cabin in the woods

    Every minute of every day! Wasn't everyone??!!!

    mary in the cabin

  • ferret

    Yes to guilt and that brings on depression.

  • greendawn

    There is no joy in being under stress all the time out of fear that you will fall morally and get zapped at armageddon, it was a daily struggle for survival. That's the wrong way to relate to God it should be out of love not fear.

    Also the guilt have I done something that brought reproach to god's name? Have I exposed the org by some wrong doing?

  • limbogirl

    I was never happy as a jw. My parents divorced and my elder dad became an apostate. Mom in turn became Super-Dub. I didn't fit in at the KH, had nothing in common with my jw peers -- wasn't allowed to develop non-jw friendships so didn't fit in that well at school. felt old for my years. Was shunned by jw's when out with my dad and then had to turn around the next day and be miss goody two shoes jw at the hall. sorry for the ramble...believe me I could go on....Short answer to your question: was never happy as a jw.

  • sweet tee
    sweet tee

    I was happy until after I was dunked and all the secret requirements came out. The expectations were suddenly so high I was terrified I might do something wrong and anger the great and fear inspiring Jehovah. Once in a while one might feel that everything is alright ... until the next meeting where one would learn how inept they truly were in one area or another ... I couldnt' even enjoy abstract thoughts or daydreams lest it displease the mighty Jehovah. And for some reason, I kept wondering if I had committed the unforgivable sin. I think I heard that you can do that and not know it ... that's tantamount to spirtual terroism!!! That's the same reason I don't go to Church today - Fear God and Give Him Glory (and 10% of your gross income, or else!) I gave the gb my heart sould and mind for the better part of 12 years. I wasn't always feeling unhappy, but the guilt I wore around my neck like a choker. And I was the one of the more strict JW's!

  • lilybird

    Both my husband and I felt unhappy during our witness years. My husband said he always felt like something was missing. The day our "Dissasociation" from the borg was official.. we felt like a big weight had been taken our of our lives. and we were free to make choices we couldn't have before.

  • candidlynuts

    i had a very happy childhood but i credit that to my wonderful parents not the wtbs.

    as an adult i never was good enough, never could do enough, any problem i had i was told jehovah would fix it if i'd just pray more, get to more meetings, study more personally, get out in service more often etc..

    i was worn out , burned out and pissed off by the time i quit going.

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    My entire existence as a JW was miserable. the only bright spots were my 2 daughters. If it wasn't for them I would have followed through on my plans to commit suicide.

    I lived for years with this huge weight inside of me. It took being DFed and rebuilding my life for that weight to disappear

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