Were You Always Feeling Guilty & Unhappy During Your Witness Years?

by minimus 30 Replies latest jw friends

  • minimus

    Were you ever really joyful as a Witness?

  • undercover

    My joy as a Witness lasted about as long as what Jerry Garcia said about the "summer of love"...

    Everything was perfect for about two weeks then the door closed and it was lost.

    There was a short period where I thought everything was just right as a Witness but it didn't take long for the guilt to take over. Originally as a child, teenager and young adult, it was the guilt of the double life and not being a "true" witness. Then later, I stuck to being a good dub. After attaining a good standing, more and more was expected. I couldn't keep up. It was too much. The guilt was back, this time for not doing more and more as I was expected to do. I started seeing the hypocrisy of the elders and COs. I started seeing the religion as a business. Then the doubts came. But it was still a few years before I finally gave voice to the doubts and looked to see if all was true with the religion.

  • rekless

    Right at first for 10 years.When my son died I seemed to lose some faith then as time went by and new light began to be inserted into the dogma and reverting back to old light as new light, I then started having doubts whether God was a confused God and I lost more and more of my "Joy" no longer "happyfied."


  • Ellie

    How can you be joyful when you are constantly reminded of all the troubles in the world, when you watch the evening news every night to check out what disaster has happened that could be a sign of armageddon.

    Even on field service, they don't actually spread any good news, the opening line is usually something like "What do you think when you see all those starving children over in Africa?", constantly looking for the worst in every situation is not going to bring happiness.

  • james_woods

    Well, there was this little witness chick named Brenda who had never been in a Porsche 911 before...

    Guilt is for weenies, or so I have heard.

  • Woofer

    Only when I realized I got away with a fake illness so I wouldn't have to out in field service as a kid.

  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    One of the last Sunday talks I attended the brother seriously spoke over half an hour on the horrors going on in the world (very graphic details) ,and last five minutes on how won't it all be grand in the new system after everyone wicked is destroyed. The sister next to me said "wasn't that a wonderful talk ?" I looked at her in disbelief and said "you've got to be kidding me, I feel sick after all that !" She didn't know how to respond . Where was the joy in that talk , Why couldn't we focus on anything positive and good ? Even when something upbuilding is discussed it always comes back around to something neg. Example : A sister was telling me of the encouraging experience some in our hall have had helping in reconstruction work ,which was good and positive.... But then has to end on how a greedy priest in that area had been to a hurricane victim by asking for her donation instead of offering aid. As if no one else is doing anything charitable or loving in that area. I told her of all the experiences I've heard of other churches and communities pulling together , and it is wrong for witnesses to slam anyone else'e efforts by one bad example. Back to your question , out of 28 yrs. of baptized service to this organization there have always been guilt and fear and unhappiness. Even in good times it always lurked in the shadows .Because nothing is ever GOOD ENOUGH Actively seeking joy .........

  • minimus

    Good point about always focusing on the negative. How an anyone be happy and joyful when all you talk about is depressing?

  • FlyingHighNow

    Of course: to your topic question. And to the point it made me have a breakdown mentally, physically and spiritually. I've not been the same since.

  • MsMcDucket

    I don't ever remember being happy as a Jehovah's Witness. I just felt like I didn't fit in. I hated going to all of the meetings. I hated all of the reading. I didn't like to go out to eat, and I hated company. Remember, I joined right after my husband had his surgery. I should have never got baptized. I got baptized while I was pregnant with my twin daughters. I was always tired and stressed.

    No, I never liked being a Jehovah's Witness.

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