Who do you love more?

by serendipity 31 Replies latest social relationships

  • mrsjones5

    Another question to ask yourself is who loves you more. Growing up I got the impression from my parents that they didn't love me as much as they should have (alot of stuff I could say on that). Once my mother told me that she was sorry but she would never love me the way I wanted. I didn't want much just less criticizing (sp) and putdowns and more loving gestures. The really messed up thing about it was when I got older my parents would tell me that no one would ever love me more than them.

    But by the grace of God, I met a man who tells me everyday that he loves me. Usually he comes to me and takes me by the hand and looks in my eyes and says "Do you know how much I love you?" Then I had 4 lovely, drive-me-crazy, sweet kids, who everyday pile on me kisses and hugs and say "Mommie I love you."

    Who loves me more? My family, not my parents, MY FAMILY!!


  • Balsam

    Arwen said: "there is no greater love than that of a mother for her child" I would die for any of my children. I love them unconditional. It is a different type of love that the love I feel for my husband. Not greater, just different.

    My beloved son has gotten himself in trouble with the law, it is serious and I won't go into it here. But it is bad enough that the FBI is involved. My son totally in denial that it's as bad it is. He doesn't realize the gravity of what he has done and that he is likely to spend years in prison for what he has done. Is my love for him still unconditional? Would I be willing to take his place in a prison if that was possible? Would I try to lie on his behalf if it would get him off or a lesser sentance? Can I forgive him for hurting other innocent people because of his senseless actions? Do I still love him, yes deeply, but at the same time I find myself putting some distance between he and I because I can't condone his life style or crime, or the hurt he brings to his own family and the people involved. Would I be willing to die to save my son from something horrible he had done? In some circumstances parents are willing to die saving their children. But can we 100% say that we would die for our children if they were doing things that could cause other's harm?

    I've had to re-evaluate my love and how best to show it. I am not willing to sacrifice my life to save my son from his own behavior. Does that make me love him less, well yes it does feel that way to me. But from a realistic perspective it comes down to protecting myself and my husband from the toxic behavior of my son. He will have to find his own way, I will not help him. My love for him is not as embracing as it was when he was say birth to age 15. He has caused a lot of pain, isn't taking care of his beautiful son, and all about just doing what feels good to him no matter who it hurts. He is not the child I raised to be a responsible adult. I hardly know this man who used to be the child I tenderly held.

    I know parents never think about their children turning out badly even from a secular standpoint, but they do and many parents have to live with that too.


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