I agree with your assessment. I just don't know whether shaming a chained person for their chains makes any sense. I am more in favor of helping them analyze the chains for the weak spots and showing them how to free themselves. I also took an extremely dim view of Shelby's treatment of James Thomas and subsequent response to his defenders.
I was particularly incensed that AGuest assumed that a non-response was permission to post the contents of a PM in direct violation of the forum rules and has apparently not been censured for this incredibly poor decision. On that thread, which I perceived as an attempt to defame, belittle, humiliate, demean, depreciate, demoralize, and sully James Thomas, AGuest wrote the following.
The only things that are unspeakable, unmentionable… is that which is "unclean," and no, I don't mean profanity. I mean that which defames, belittles, humiliates, demeans, slanders, depreciates, kills (technically and or literally), demoralizes, and sullies another… deceitfully, maliciously, hatefully, unlovingly. THOSE things are what should be beyond the need to discuss.
I believe this is rank hypocrisy in the context in which it appeared. However, I credit that it may have been unintentional.
Of course, I also believe we are all constrained by something. No matter how free we believe we are. Some error prevents our seeing clearly no matter how connected or liberated we become. All of us are in a paradigm of some sort and, in my opinion, anyone who doesn't see their current paradigm (constraints) clearly cannot see how to make a new paradigm.
It is at this point of self-satisfaction that people begin to try to convince others to become more like them, interact with others according to a specific set of personally allowable interactions, or adopt their view of things. Shelby has a box she lives in, she just doesn't acknowledge its existence.
You have a box you live in, I have one, James Thomas has one. All of us have a box we live in. I will never encourage you to be like me, because I am still becoming what I will be. I hope I never stop becoming something else, so why would I want you to eventually become what I used to be?
AuldSoul (of the "Don't Get In My Box While I'm Building Myself a New One" class)