It was awful. They knew my husband (primitive genius) and I were inactive for years both when we were single and married but they didn't know we were Christians now. They suspected and finally asked us during a recent visit whether or not we believe the org is the 'truth'? Primitive asked them if they really want the answer to that question? They said yes. He said 'no it's not the truth'. They wanted to know if we go to a church? We said yes. It's been a crap storm ever since. In a nut shell, they accused us of being apostates, of disassociating ourselves (even though we'd never write a letter or sit before a JC, no longer bound by their rules) They wanted to know what the church had that the 'truth' doesn't? We told them, um Love! That didn't go over too well. We didn't know what to say except that we're closer to Jehovah now than we ever were as JWs and we're happy, we know we're loved and approved of by God. My sister-in-law was furious, she didn't say much except that our family ties may be severed, I said why would you allow a religion to dictate to you how to treat your family? We then got into the whole d'fing 'arrangement'. Mom said it's loving. I told her it's one of the most cruel, ruthless, unloving things about JWs. She quoted the usual verses, I said, I don't know what they mean but I know that the words disfellowship, disassociate and judicial committee don't appear in the bible at all nor is there a record of Jesus df'ing or shunning anyone. They didn't have a reply for that. We then asked them if the Bible told them one thing and the watchtower told them something else which would they obey? They couldn't answer the question! Mom was emotional, cried a lot. I felt sick because I know how much my husband loves his family and I don't want him to lose them. His dad is p.o. in his home cong so it could get nasty. They haven't spoke to us since and it's been 2 days. Primitive goes from angry to sad, but we're praying for them. I told him to give them time, this is hard for them too because they don't understand what the org really is. Mom said she'd do some research of her own, we can only hope. I don't want them to shun him and hurt him that way but it's up to them, sad thing is, God's not asking this of them, a harsh man made religion is. Hope they listen to their heart, conscience and humanity - things the gb seeks to control at all times.
mother and sister in law ask if we believe it's the 'truth'?
One thing I just never could grasp about the shunning. When people make mistakes, thats when they need the most encouragement, right? You dont kick em when their down! Instead of shunning, they should be telling everyone in the congregation to encourage, show love, and be there for that person, not the other way around!
sigh .. a sad post victorian sky,
I have strong memories of similar high emotion discussions with members of my family. It leaves you mentally and emotionaly drained. At least your mom was open minded enough to say she'd do some research (although we all know what witness research usually means .. it'd be nice if you could influence her research a little). Gentle is best from here on in.
best wishes, unclebruce
ps: a request - could you put some paragraph breaks in longish posts like this (just press enter every few sentences - it'll be a lot easer to read and may even evoke a greater response
mother and sister in law ask if we believe it's the 'truth'?
The truth should never change, and if a "truth" changes, then it wasn't the truth from the start.
When people make mistakes, thats when they need the most encouragement, right? You dont kick em when their down! Instead of shunning, they should be telling everyone in the congregation to encourage, show love, and be there for that person, not the other way around!
Someone in here, an ex elder I believed was talking about the old days and JC's. He said that the attitude back then for elders on a JC was to try to "gain a brother rather than lose one"
Nowadays its all about keeping the congregation spiritually clean. Its a shame that that old attitude isn't more common nowadays.
they left ......... i gave them time to get bout 3/4 of the way home..... then i started calling to make sure they were going alright........... silence............... i bet i called them 8 or 9 times over a 2 hour period in case they were in a dead spot and the phone wouldnt work. thus begins the shunning.
Its funny and screwed up. they try to say that dfing is loving and i kept saying that i know the bible says not to associate with someone who is sinning, not even shareing a meal with them, k got that. but if the witlessnesses wanted to apply that they should make it in public as in a social thing.
you get a drug dealer......... if he goes to church he isnt there to sell crack, hes there to try and find god. would i be seen publicly with a drug dealer........... hell no, not my companion of choice, yet bible says thats what some of you were before you were washed clean by the blood of the lamb..... so FORMER drug dealer sure. anyone comes to church they should be treated with love while there at church, and if not associated with outside of it so be it. that i could see jesus condoneing a little bit, or something simular because bad association can spoil good habits and all. but not breaking up families and no contact at all.
i argued that point ...... might as well have been to a brick wall. oh well im satisfied with what i got, i still worship god and i am not living a totally messed up life. i go to church regularly, and i actually WANT to go, not the forceing that i had to do at the hall. my life is a million times greater outside the dubs, when my sister asked if i was never going back to the truth i told her straight up........ it aint the truth. im not ashamed of god or my relationship with him. i havent been broadcasting it to all of the dubs because i really enjoy talking to my family occasionally but its their choice and i can go to my grave satisfied with mine.
Dear Victorian Sky
It's just more of the same fear -mongering bs from a dipshit cult that can't stand the fact that they're losing members in droves.
Advice: Do what you and your husband want to do. You'd be making a mistake (IMO) if you cave. Stick to your guns.
You're right on target with disfellowshipping edict. It's all garbage, and it is one of the biggest family destroyers that cult has come up with yet.
EVERYONE is "sinning." The verse the JWs use to justify disfellowshipping was talking about a man who slept with his mother (something like that), and that they shouldn't associate with, not even eating a meal with, someone like that. The GB has twisted it all around.
I'm sorry you are going through this. I know how you feel, and so do many others here. You are not alone. Maybe they will come around.
Actually, he was porking his stepmom, not his real mom.
I am so sorry to hear that. At least they agreed to do research. Perhaps they will find the real truth. At least you guys have each other. Best Wishes.