Where were you when the realization hit, that the WTS was not in the truth?

by whyizit 61 Replies latest jw friends

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  james_woods

  First doubts - 1969, Winter, in the freezing basement Libraray at KH in Clinton, Okla. Trying to make sense of the name Jehovah in the NWT/NT.

  Research: - all through 1970 to 1980. Saw 1975, Ray Franz issue, 144,000, etc. Still Elder, still kind of trying to show up once a month or so.

  Catharsis - Circuit Assembly summer of 1979. Went in on a Saturday Morning, smelled those greasy hamurgers cooking, and heard one of my former friends (Mike Merritt for those who know Oklahoma City) holding for on "Apostacy" during the morning service talks. Looked around just like the previous posters who did an assembly walkout, and just knew it. I did not belong here anymore.

  Turned 180 and got in my apostate 1977 Corvette and made tire tracks for the Interstate Highway. Last meeting ever.

  There was plenty of time to let them disfellowship me later that next spring.

  James
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  MuadDib

  History class.
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  Dismembered

  Re: Where were you when the realization hit, that the WTS was not in the truth?

  In my seat @ the KH watching the hypocrites.

  Dismembered
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  Dogpatch

  I was in building two of the Bethel NY factory, third floor, and after having been in our secret Bible studies that focused on Romans and Galatians and the freedom of Christ, and after having gone through 100 years of bound volumes in the Bethel library for the last two weeks researching the two-class doctrine, 1914 and others, the thought dawned on me: If this was the truth, it would be worth all this sacrifice, but if it is not, I'm outta here! It's sick! Within a few months I was gone, telling Dan Sydlik I had to take care of my family (I had to get them out!). I started going to a surfer church at the beach before I disassociated myself. :-))

  story: http://www.freeminds.org/history/watters.htm

  Randy Watters
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  EAGLE-1

  I was on a nature walk and for some odd reason I blirted out God and Satan go f---- yourself.There were no thunderbolts so I continued my walk.I felt no fear or remorse.I felt nothing but free.As free as the wild dog I shot in the ass.

  I dont want to participate in their stupid little galactic game of whose good and whose bad.F---- that bs.When I was in the womb no one said "Hey when your born you get to play the god-satan game sign here". Who says.If I had been born in Tibet I would be banging on gongs,mumbling chants and wondering why theres so many damn Chinese soldiers here.Would not even have a clue as to who jehover is or even care.......
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  Finally-Free

  It came in a few stages for me. The first was the lack of love in the congregations. The second was when we studied the Jan. 1, 1989 Watchtower where it said of the apostle Paul, "He was also laying a foundation for a work that would be completed in our 20th century." I thought that was quite a statement, and I said to myself that I would leave the organization if this turned out to be a lie. So when the year 2000 came I looked for this in the bound volumes and on the Watchtower CD and couldn't find it anywhere. I thought I was going crazy, because normally I have a very good memory. I also was surprised at the change in the "generation" doctrine in 1995, and I was surprised at the lack of reactions in people during the study at the hall. At the time I was preoccupied with a career change I was going through and didn't give it too much thought.

  In 2002 I started looking at "apostate" web sites because of a JW sex abuse scandal that was in the news. I took everything I read with a grain of salt, because of my cult training to view the words of "apostates" with suspicion. The Fifth Estate program on JW child abuse was a huge eye opener as well. During that program I decided I could never knock on a door again to peddle watchtowers. I didn't want anyone to identify me as a member of an organization that protected child molesters. I was so angry, I couldn't look at any JW without wondering if he was a child molester.

  On one web site there was a reference to the Jan. 1, 1989 Watchtower that I mentioned earlier. I remembered that my mother didn't get bound volumes, but always kept her original magazines. So I went to her house and found the one I was looking for. I wasn't crazy after all, and there was nothing wrong with my memory. At that moment I knew for a certainty that the Watchtower was completely false, and deliberately so. They immediately lost all credibility with me. I took the magazine home, scanned the original and the bound volume and sent it to a few people who hosted ex-jw sites. Here's the scans:

  My "moment" was followed up with several months of illness that I'm sure was caused by the stress. In 2003 I wrote the elders a letter telling them to get out of my life and stay off of my property. I told them any attempts to contact me would be viewed as harassment and would be reported to police. My marriage fell apart, and that took a large financial toll as well. For the next 2 years I wouldn't read any religious literature. It's only in the last 6 months that I've been willing to look at any.

  W
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  Virgochik

  I think I always knew! When we hurt my widowed Grandfather every time we let him sit in his house alone on the holidays, I knew this wasn't a loving religion.

  Every time I listened to my elder dad talk about the latest backstabbing and politics games amongst the elders, especially when the CO came, I knew this wasn't the true religion.

  The gossiping and unkindness in the Hall turned my stomach. Literally. I had an ulcer at 16 years of age.

  After I moved into my first apartment, I drove to the Hall for the Serv-ass meeting. I missed the left turn from the highway into the parking lot. I turned around to try again and thought about...

  The nasty smirking elderettes waiting inside to smother me in phony concern and caring. ("Oh, look who's here! How's your dad? We miss him!") Their husbands feuded with my father when he was PO and it got so bad he transferred us to another Hall. The cold, unloving atmosphere of the congregation. I thought, nobody's going to talk to me anyway, and I'm going to run out right after the meeting to avoid these people, so why am I even going in there, in the first place?

  I missed the turn again, and never went back. I knew then I would never go back and it felt so good.
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  TheListener

  I thought it was my problem for a long time. I thought I just didn't have enough faith to understand. I was waiting for armageddon to come and end my life.

  As I would sit in a deserted parking lot hunkered over a copy of CoC, and I began to realize that it wasn't me. I wasn't crazy or faithless.

  I remember one cold day when it was raining. I felt safer reading in my car when it was raining. Less people walking by and less chance of anyone seeing what I was reading. I was over 50 miles from home and still freaked out abou being caught with CoC. After reading some pages I just silently stared out of my windshield. After several moments I thought 'they've got it wrong. They don't love us, they control us.'

  After that it was exit strategy time and the beginning of my fade.
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  lilybird

  When the elders came to me wanting to disfellowship my mother because she had mental illness and could "bring reproach" on Jehovahs org. I started to wonder whether God really directed them.

  They even asked me for advice on how to deal with the "problem" Which I found confusing as they were supposed to be acting on the direction of Gods spirt .

  It wasn't until the summer of 1986 at the Toronto District Convention , that my husband and I both looked at each other and decided to leave.. As a few others described here... it was such a feeling of freedom and relief to just walk away.. After that we gradually faded for a few months and then decided to tell family and friends ...The elders formally announced our disassociation from the organtization.. It was a couple of years ago when I decided to search the internet for info on the JWs and found this site.. That really opened my eyes to their lies and confirmed to me that we made the right decision..Before that ,, I always had a nagging fear..what if they were right after all??? Now I no longer worry..I know I made the right decision for myself and family to leave
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  daystar

  It was, after having not gone to a meeting in some years, that I imagined what it would be like if I had been born to someone from the middle east, into the Islamic religion. I realized that my entire frame of reference would be a world apart from what it was.

  At that point I realized that there is no Truth; that is is all quite relative. If it doesn't exist, then no one has The Truth, including the WTS.

  My personal truths arrived at from within are worth hundred-fold more than any "Truth" being force-fed to me, or programmed into me.