Letting go...a letter to my brother

by Brigid 29 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Brigid

    Dear friends and fellow sojourners,

    As I posted sometime back, I have been grappling with my last fear from the WTBTS--that is, saying good-bye to my mother and brother who are still in the organization by revealing that not only have I left but am now what they consider an apostate. It has come to me, that I must do this to be finally free of the last vestiges of "hold" that the organization still has on me. And freedom, my friends, I treasure more than anything this realm has to offer me.

    So, I've set an auspicious date to send the following letter to my brother (decided on a letter vs. a phone call, as I am far more gifted with written word than verbal, I think--and I wish even yet, as the protective big sister to spare him as much embarassment as possible). And to my brother only because he will share with my mother and spare her as well.

    To my Dear Brother ****,

    I am writing you this to share information with you as well as to say goodbye because I know after I share the information, it will be in your heart and mind, goodbye.

    As you know, I am no longer one of Jehovah's Witnesses but there is more. I am now what you consider apostate. I speak out regularly and publically about what I consider to be my truths regarding the organization via an internet discussion board. I openly disavow the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society and Jehovah's Witnesses. I actively encourage those interested in this path to examine it closely and honestly thereby encouraging them not to pursue it.

    ****, know that I love you. Always, you remain in my heart, the precious baby boy they brought home from the hospital. Mother has a poem that I wrote to you on your arrival. I was so excited. I miss you terribly. I long to hear your loud belly laughs, and our ongoing jokes about....EVERYTHING (I wanna go live with the gorillas....Shut up, I'm hungry!!!....He's dead, Jim....so many). Somewhere, in my mind, I still hear that laugh when I hear something stupid or funny. I still think I see you sometimes when the light is right, hunkered over the computer enthralled with some new online game or romance.

    May life treat you with utmost kindness. May your brilliance lead you to wealth. May you, your children and wife be blessed.

    Please do not ever hesitate to send me word that you need anything---all that I have is yours.

    Please tell mother that I love her too. I am grateful for all that she taught me. Let her know that I forgive where or if forgiveness is needed and I understand more than she can possibly know why she raised me the way she did.

    Please know that I love you--forever you live in my heart.

    I wish for you all the things that I wish for myself,

    Love your sister,


  • Dr Jekyll
    Dr Jekyll

    So many of us have lost family.



    How sad...another broken family!!! Did you ever discuss any of the issues with your brother/family? I wish you the best...life can be a hard road to travel!


  • codeblue


    I have to ask you a question. Are you already df'd?

    The reason I am asking is that when something is in written word, they can take it to the elders and action can be taken. IF you send this letter to your brother, and he is an active JW, his conscience will most likely make him turn that letter in to the elders.

    Just a thought. If that doesn't matter, then a letter is always an easier way to say things.

    I wish the best for you.

  • daystar


    I understand how very hard this must be for you, sweetie.

    However, I'm going to toast you. Freedom often comes with such sacrifices.

    I'm always available to you, even if I may be a bit busy, you should know.

  • Brigid

    Thank you all. I will be depending heavily on the board when all of this comes down. But on the light side, we're gonna have one helluva "coming out" party for me here!!......RIIIGHT???? I'm gonna post pics, we're gonna have music, karaoke, margaritas.....


    I am not df'd as far as I know. I forgot that he will feel impelled to share this. When I send this, I will not care. The elders that he shows it to live far away. And I will not give the elders here the time of day (they do not know me). They would be hard-pressed to "get to me" past my husband who can be quite a litigious, overbearing, cruel a**hole--I'd actually like to see them get past our attornies--ya know, it could be quite fun, actually. But whatever happens, who cares?


    < I know....I love you so much, you creepy hellbeast!!

    Here's to change and freedom!!

    Love and Light,


  • delilah

    ((((((((((((((((((Brigid)))))))))))))))))))) My heart goes out to you, and to all here, who've written, or contemplated writing, a letter such as this, to our families. It saddens me, to know, that this religion has caused so many divided families, so many hurt feelings. It is not supposed to be like this.

  • anewme

    Brigid, why are you writing this painful goodbye letter to your dear brother who loves you so much?
    Who are you writing it for?

    Can you imagine the pain this is going to cause him? You say you love him so much, that he is your loving baby brother! How can you write a goodbye to your brother???? He has done you no harm. He is just a victim too. There must be some other way for you to get through this day.

    I think you are looking for some drama and excitement and attention am I right? You want some notice and you want your family to recognize how much you have been in turmoil and angst. But is this the way to go about it? Can you hold off for a bit? You can let go in your heart, but not send such an "end it all" note.

    I think you have no idea of the painful consequences a letter like this is going to have in your life.

    Please dont send it yet. Think about it some more.


  • anewme

    Then again I have not read all your posts dear Brigid and so I may be speaking out of turn.

    Do what you think is best.

  • Brigid


    Believe me, this letter will not (does not) get sent without much thought and preparation. I have come to a crossroads in my personal path (selfish? yes) where I must choose between fear and freedom.

    I choose freedom, but as Daystar points out, it often comes at a cost. I am truly sorry for my brother and mother, but they have chosen their path, I have chosen mine.

    Love and Light,


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