Letting go...a letter to my brother

by Brigid 29 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Hellrider

    Unless they`re allready shunning you, or being mean to you, I think you should think twice about this. They are captives of a cult, you know. It`s hard for many to break away, and see the truth about "the truth". If you do this, then you will allow that moronic cult to tear your brother and mother away from you, won`t you? Maybe it would be better to just do what I do whenever I`m around the JW-part of my family. Whenever you`re around them, tell them that "look, let`s not talk about religion. That will only lead to an argument, because I know more about your religion than you do yourself. But I don`t want to argue. So lets just not talk about it!". If you "disfellowship" your mother and brother out of your life...then the... faithful and excrement slave wins, don`t they?

  • jeeprube

    Brigid, I think your letter is wonderfully written and very loving. I applaud your courage in preparing to send it! I have several letters sitting on my harddrive, all prepared to send off to family. Someday, I hope to have the same courage that you do.

  • MegaDude

    Quite a nice letter. I know your brother will be moved. I said goodbye to my mom and brother years ago. It wasn't easy but it was the best thing for me.


  • Jez

    Are they already shunning you?

    You seem to be forcing their hand unnecessarily.

    Can't you just live your life as you choose and not 'inform' them of exactly how you are violating THEIR interpretation of the word 'apostate'?

    I don't understand why someone would say good-bye first to their JW family. Seems like, "I am going to hurt you before you get the chance to hurt me."

    Do you have true freedom if you feel you must inform your family of your decisions regarding freedom and what that word exactly means to you, ie. letting THEM go? Don't jump the gun, hold onto that letter, you are closing doors yourself, not them.

    Just my humble opinion, Jez

  • anewme

    Well Brigid, I have been dfd for 5 years now. But I would never df my JW loved ones from me because I dont believe in it. I believe in family and I believe in forgiveness. Disfellowshipping means death to the one disfellowshipped and I would never put to death a loved one.

  • freedomlover


    this letter makes me cry. it is beautiful. I truly understand *your* need to write and send this. I also understand the viewpoints on here that maybe you shouldn't initiate the shunning. It's such a fine line, but we all have to do what sits well with our soul during quite moments with ourself. I truly believe this is what you need to do at this moment.

    my wish is that your brother and mother can still feel your love and affection that you put down so eloquently.

    freedom is truly the greatest thing. much love to you - freedomlover

  • daystar

    I won't speak for Brigid. However, I think she has to do this for herself. She's not choosing to shun her brother or mother, but feels that once she outs herself to them, they will. This is why it's a goodbye letter.

    Why she has to do this for herself is because as long as she is hiding herself here and elsewhere in case someone find out and rat her out, she does not feel free.

    This is about her freedom, simple as that.

    ( Brigid ??)

  • Brigid

    Yes, you get it.


  • freedomlover

    Brigid - sorry to high jack here.....thanks for the PM. I can't return a PM from this website because I'm on a MAC. I've tried numerous attempts at getting help with this but Simon seems to be out of the country or something...

    so if you PM me your email address I can reply to you that way and send you my email....thanks! looking forward to a chat!

  • Brigid


    I'm a bit behind on readings and I have to go to the dentist in just a little while, but you shall have your cards read very soon, my friend.

    Love and Light,


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