ferret said: First of all god does not hate you even though he might hate your conduct. We are all sinners and many of us have committed some serious sins.
What in god's name are you talking about ferret? She's done nothing wrong.........
Linzlou, this guy was not your friend: He was a dirty old man who took advantage of young girls. You have nothing to be ashamed of or to feel guilty for. As for you feeling like you're a murderer for turning this rotten old bastard in, all I can say is: you're not a murderer----you're a hero. Do you realize how many young girls you probably saved from this slimeball? You're to be commended, not put down.
From what you've wrote, you've had a hell of a childhood. I would like to recommend that you check out this book by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. It's called "Bad Childhood---Good Life". It shows you how you can still live a good life as an adult, even though you had a terrible childhood.
You can buy it on
or try your local library. Here's a link:
I would also strongly recommend that you seek professional help. Look up a Psychiatrist or Psychologist in the Yellow Pages (or, it may be under "Physicians", I'm not sure). It sounds as though you need some medication for depression as well. Please keep us posted and keep your chin up.