Getting married in the kingdom hall ( ..."have you had sex?")

by slimboyfat 45 Replies latest jw friends

  • slimboyfat

    We plan to get married in the KH in the autumn. Will the elders quiz us as to whether we have had sex beforehand?

  • Alwayshere

    Slimboyfat, I am pretty sure they will. Here in Texas they do because I know of some who were ask.

  • slimboyfat

    If I said no and lied, would that affect the brother's relationship with Jehovah?

  • DigitalFokus

    If they ask, just say no. OR ask them if they count anal.

  • Frog
    If I said no and lied, would that affect the brother's relationship with Jehovah?

    slimboy, if you've got a healthy sex life with your partner/wife to be & feel no shame or guilt about it then I don't understand why getting married in the kingdumbhall is so important to you? feel free to explain your situation better :) x

  • diamondblue1974
    If I said no and lied, would that affect the brother's relationship with Jehovah?

    I am sorry for being blunt with you here but how the hell can your lies affect your colleagues relationship with God? it has nothing to do with him and any suggestion by the WTBTS that it would affect him is their attempt to use guilt to control you. Your sex life is nothing to do with anyone....and if 'God' didnt want you to have sex before marriage then he shouldnt have created you with the need to do so! Its similar to where the society have said in the past that if you look at a woman 'in a certain way, so as to have relations with her ' she becomes as guilty as you; thats utter shyte but I remember that point being made when I was younger...always thought it was crap then too...typical mind control tactics! My advice get a civil ceremony at a hotel somewhere and invite who you want to invite.... DB74

  • The Lone Ranger
    The Lone Ranger

    I got married as a JW in the KH and no one asked me or Wife To Be any such questions. what nerve!

  • dozy

    The question is usually framed in a broad sense (usually with a smile):

    ie Is there anything that would feel would disqualify you from being married here? or even "I assume everything is OK as far as your relationship goes." . That is - if it ever gets asked at all - unless there has been any obvious issues during the courtship then often the elder doesn't bother.

    Traditionally the elder would ask during the pre-wedding practice session in the KH , so it usually gets crowded out over issues like flowers and where Aunt Agatha & Great-Uncle Albert will sit.

  • freddi

    you don't have to get married in the k.h. it is not mandatory. when i was still a witness, my ex hubby and i got married at city hall. maybe that is why we were not asked if had sex before marriage. i do know that my ex and i had sex before we were married. we were even living together. this was totally unknown to anyone at the k.h. , but it doesn't make it right. as a result, our union was not blessed. then again, how can you be blessed in an organization that is not of God in the first place. rely on your bible, your personal prayer life and not some organization that flip flops and gets new light every time it suits their needs. 1Timothy 2:5 says that there is only ONE mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus God Bless, freddi

  • slimboyfat

    I don't know why we want to get married in the kingdom hall either. But that is just the way it has got to be. It would cause problems with family not to have it in the kingdom hall.

    Even if the system is not real, and the brother is not affected in any real "spiritual" sense by having been lied too - it is still a dupe, and wrong to lie to his face. On the other hand, he does not have a right to ask such things anyway (according to my way of seeing things), and besides, the deceptions that elders perpetuate regularly from the platform are more "gross" (to use their word) by any reasonable standard.

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