Thanks, Gumby and thanks for all your friendship.
Here's the article I wrote about my trolling "award" - as a joke for inclusion in our company's newsletter. Do ya think they'll PRINT IT?
6320’s First Assistant Manager, Rosemarie xxx, has been awarded third place in the coveted "Most Disgusting Yahoo Troll of the Month" contest.
"I was thrilled!" stated the diminutive grandmother. "I received 58 votes, and only about 20 of them were my own. Imagine, someone out there is so repulsed by me, he voted for me 38 times! For a woman who is forced to pretend to actually like people for at least 45 hours per week, I can’t imagine a more appropriate accolade. There is nothing like a career in retail to turn even the most caring person into a virulent, profanity-spewing misanthrope."
Rosemarie managed to secure a slot among the nominees by promising sexual favors to the board owner of the now-defunctwww.yahootroll.com . Other contenders included libsrfags, torture4dummies and eatbushitanddieyouneoconc0cksucker. Top honors went to brokeback_bushbot.
While she is reluctant to reveal her primary ID, Rosemarie beamed when she spoke of her prowess as an ID troll.
What, precisely, is an ID troll?
"In a nutshell, I troll the trolls – the most well-known, universally despised posters. For example, I created an ID called "mr_white_the_obscure_american – a parody ID of mr_white_the_secure_american. Some of my other parody IDs include wanda_for_malfeasant_values (parodying wanda_for_decent_values); the_wife_from_7/11 (the_wife_from_7 th _heaven); beento5psychhospitals (beento5continents), my_big_fat_geek_jihad (my_big_fat_greek_jihad, and several variations of christian_moms_4_soccer_values (soccer_moms_4_christian_values).
And what, exactly, does an ID troll do?
"It’s hard work. It’s hard work", laments Rosemarie, in a manner reminiscent of recent protestations by President George Bush (affectionately known on Yahoo Boards as the lying sociopath chickenhawk AWOL coward POS corporate whore cokehead) during one of his recent debates with Senator John Kerry.
"I have to be ready to change IDs the moment I notice one of the trolls whom I troll post a message. The point is to insult and annoy the troll as well as to humor and garner recommendations from other posters. It’s not easy, what with logging in and out of all my Yahoo accounts. Since each Yahoo account is only permitted 6 IDs, I had to open seven accounts. I could, of course, open seven browser windows and toggle between them, but it gets confusing – sometimes I’ve responded to myself under the same ID as my OP (original post), something no respectable troll does."
"In addition," states the usually reticent, taciturn retail manager, "I’m one of the few liberal trolls on the boards who is female. It’s often assumed that the best trolls are males. That’s simply not true," bemoans Rosemarie. "I can be as vile and obscene as any man on Yahoo Boards, and I’ve got the recommendations to prove it."
"My job is stressful. I have to be cheerful and accommodating, regardless of how repugnant the customer or how ludicrous her demands. I find insulting others on line, albeit anonymously, really relieves the stress."
But there is a danger inherent all that cathartic trolling. "Sometimes my trolling leaks out into real life," Rosemarie admits. "The other day, while I was carrying 40 pounds of Gatorade in one hand and putting up price changes with the other, a woman accused me of ignoring her. I almost called her a "lying piece of Red State trailer trash Bushbot shit."
"That," admits Rosemarie with a giggle, "would be a major faux pas."