Hi CHL, looks like I got my point across more clearly this time. I certainly didn't mean to make myself out to be one of those girls who sets out in a relationship to change the man that she's with, I'm just not that kind of person.
The problem with being with someone who hasn't figured it out is that the growth of knowing these vital things can be stunted simply by their split focus. You are his priority and he is not his priority. Hopefully though by watching you and seeing how you grow and interact it will help him know what he needs out of his life and his interactions.
First, let me say that I definitely don't consider myself to be a "woman" yet, it kinda freaks me out when people here on the board call me that, I'm definitely still a "girl", still figuring things out, still becoming the person that I'm meant to be, and I'm thoroughly enjoying it. It's fun to grow and learn, I like finding out new things about myself, and sometimes I surprise myself.
And I think that, with my current boyfriend, and I emphasize the word "boy", we're both getting a chance to grow together. When I first started talking to him, I was so shy around him and so insecure about everything, and he seemed to be very introverted, a real loner, someone who could be quite happy to spend his whole life alone in his apartment, playing video games and going out only to work and get groceries. But now, over a year later, I know that I'm a more secure person (not completely secure, but I am a work in progress) and I feel more comfortable with myself (he's tried so hard to make me feel better about myself), and he's different, too. Sure, he's still quite content to spend a lot of time doing his own thing, not doing anything interesting or new, but that's only when we're apart and he's alone. When we talk about the next time we'll be together (long-distance relationship, remember), he's suddenly full of ideas for things to do. He wants to take me places, show me around (and show me off, too), do things with me, it's really amazing to see him like that. Even when I visited him last August, I expected to do a couple of things with him and just hang out a lot together, but he has something interesting and exciting to do every single day, there was never a dull moment. I think he's finally seeing that there's a fun and exciting world out there and now that he has someone to share it with, he wants to get out and see everything. Sometimes, when I think about it, I think that we're both helping each other grow in different ways.
I think that we're both very immature and inexperienced, but at least for now, we're both growing together, learning new things, seeing new sides of each other, it's nice. And I think, in a way, that's what we both need, someone to grow up with, someone to help us figure out who we are... even if it's just a temporary thing.
-Becka :) (of the "sometimes it's nice to forget that he's a JW" class)
