Opening the door for a dub

by ozziepost 14 Replies latest jw friends

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  ozziepost

  I'm in the habit of opening the door for people - nothing unusual about that, I know, but to me it's plain good manners. It's a kind of recognition of a person who just passes by fleetingly but, is after all, a fellow traveller on this marvellous orb called Earth.

  So it was today that after filling up with petrol (gas) at our local service station, I went to the cashier's booth to pay. As I entered, a man was leaving and I opened the door for him to pass, waiting while he walked through. As it happened, I recognised him, a prominent (in dubdom) local elder. I smiled.

  Did he acknowledge me? No

  Did he even say thank you for my act of politeness? No.

  Actually he looked sternly straight ahead as if I was a.....well, a doorman, I s'pose.

  Such a thing happens from time to time. I recall that there was one occasion when at an office I was working at, the window cleaner came to be paid. As he left I opened the door for him, and he simply pushed past me. It was noticed by the manager who wanted to know how someone who was known to me (he was a pioneer elder and part-time at Bethel) could behave in such a way. Of course, I was able to give him "a witness"1

  There was another occasion when a local elder (a Service Overseer in our old congo) actually pushed me over to get past me!!

  How tragic their lives have become! Presumably their self-righteousness causes them to overlook basic human kindnesses but I think most would call their conduct just plain bad manners. But then, are dubs taught that ethics and manners, I wonder?

  From Stephen's speech to the Sanhedrin comes this example of treatment that is clearly from those who oppose God:

  "But the man who was mistreating the other pushed Moses aside and said, 'Who made you ruler and judge over us?'" - Acts 7:27

  Then we have Paul's words:

  "Love does no harm to its neighbor" - Romans 13:10

  We also have the Parable of the Good Samaritan in response to the question: "Who is my neighbor?" (Luke 10)

  Strange then that the WTS shoud boast that their teachings are "Bible based"!

  But really, their conduct is self-defeating for who would want to "go back" to an organisation like that?

  Still, I will continue to open the door for anyone, no matter who they are.
• 

  sass_my_frass

  Yep; behaviour best observed. They're so angry that you're still alive (and they're still washing windows...) Very rude behaviour, and they'll always tell their friends afterwards - 'ha, I think she even wanted to talk to me! As IF! NOW she's going to be sorry she left...'

  Yawn.
• 

  Narkissos

  Hi Ozzie,

  Even after many years, it's still upsetting to be treated like that by a "fellow traveller," isn't it?

  I think dubs who behave that way express the spirit, if not the letter, of the WT's instructions. Actually they are not content with "not associating" with you. They feel the need to voice the official reprobation somehow. They are scared that a smile or a "thank you" or even the average polite gesture might be interpreted (by you, by the onlooker, by Jehovah Himself) as an approbation. So they have to act rude -- and weird.
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  bigmouth

  Just keep your dignity and humanity Ozzie.
  Something about 'heaping fiery coals' comes to mind.
  
  Pete
• 

  unclebruce

  Did he acknowledge me? No

  Did he even say thank you for my act of politeness? No.

  Actually he looked sternly straight ahead as if I was a.....well, a doorman, I s'pose

  ROTFL - I think you've found your calling brother.

  You're on to something important here ozzie. One of the worst things about being a dub is that during all those meetings, assemblies, field service and bible studies we weren't taught to be nice people. Being a good christian in the traditional sense wasn't a priority. I was laughed at more than once by fellow witness for showing politeness to non-believers. I could never understand this attitude but it's there alright.

  now shove off, I'm busy..
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  greendawn

  Do they deserve to be treated kindly after the rude way that they like to behave? I would simply ignore them until they decide to become a civilised lot. They are modern day Pharisees.
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  unclebruce

  Do they deserve to be treated kindly after the rude way that they like to behave? I would simply ignore them until they decide to become a civilised lot. They are modern day Pharisees

  You're right green dawn, they certainly don't deserve being treated kindly but it is the best thing to do. Both for yourself and from a deprogramming point of view. Kind words from apostates are unexpected and can really mess up a brothers brain washing JWs are 'inculcated' to deeply fear apostates. If we go out of our way to be kind and helpfull and appear well adjusted and happy with our lot in the world, it goes against everything they've been taught, I'm not saying that, in the case of a pompus elder riding high on power, a good boot up the butt wouldn't be a satisfying sight.
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  jwfacts

  Very true, their behaviour is self defeating. Not only does it help a d/f person see the organisation for what it really is, it also has a huge effect on onlookers. No one I work with would ever be a JW after learning of the treatment that I have received.
  I was so annoyed to watch the video in another thread today of the elder say in court that d/fing is all about lovingly helping the wrongdoer. There is little about help in the practice, and a lot about humiliation and punishment.
  People reap what they sow and it is nice to see you sowing fine seeds.
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  wombat

  jwfacts..Agreed...When my dear 89 yo mother was in the burns ward for a month five weeks ago she spoke to the nurses of her myriad of children, grand children, great grand children and two great-great grandchildren.

  A nurse asked me why she hardly had any visitors so I was forced to explain in detail to her the teachings of the Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society of New York. The family members were not permitted to visit whilst I was there.

  I hope that she didn't tell all the other nurses.
• 

  ozziepost

  The family members were not permitted to visit whilst I was there.

  That reminds me.........

  Many years ago, when I was DF and Mrs O wasn't, she was lying desparately ill in hospital and I was at her bedside most waking hours.

  I was 'told' by the elders that I should not be there and that I was being inconsiderate of "the brothers" who wanted to visit her but couldn't because I was there!!!

  Bastards!